the downward spiral
My week has seen an increasing state of underlying anxiety.... I have twice now had panic attacks that i havent had in years. ive constanly been in tears over the pressure and frustration of things that i cant even identify. My sleeping has gone out the window (ive never had a problem sleeping)im tired, and have a really bad self destructive urge to ruin my life...
Had a BAD day on sat, wayne saved me and got me to come to zanes, which was great to see people, but I felt really out of place... not because i the people, but because of my head. Left to get a good nights sleep for my early rise the next morning...
I then preceeded to have one of the worst panick stickened nights of my life...all a product of a fearful mind...
I got up around five after not really getting much sleep.
I stated to watch some anzac memorials which completely calmed me. Thinking about gallipoli ecspecially really got my head out of my own brain, thinking about other...
then off to Fool Proof.... Fucking Awesome day. And into the Bush, and the sun and the early morning psy... it was rad... had such a good day. Seeing farshids face when he first saw larissa was so beautiful as she came up as a suprise... dancing his heart of and having his girl suprise him out in the bush :)
Firstly.... we didnt have to pay to get in.... noone on the gate anymore.. it was around 10..rocked out all day... actually saw some djs that i really liked on the sunday.. the sound was incrediable...
Wooo hooo...
THEN>>>>>>>>>
Fucking police........
7 cars and a drug Bus......
and i blew over....
Just 0.06...
long story involved in the situation... but i now will loss 10 demerit points... which means good bye license..
i take full responsibility. but i HONESTLY dont think i was that affected... and 40 mins later i blew 0.03... that doesnt make sense to me... and i wonder how acurate breathilisers are if you havent eaten after drinking liquer.
ANYWAY... 7 police cars and a bus????? on a single dirt road????... if you didnt blow over they drug tested you, every car was being pulled aside...
so once i leave fool proof my life starts to stumble again..
FOR GODS SAKE i hope this is a pedulum swinging affect from coming off my meds and its my body trying to find it balance....
GOOD Luck to me for tomorrows exam.... Totally unprepared, but quietly confident
PS This is the first weekend ive ever done homework on.... NEVER AGAIN!
Had a BAD day on sat, wayne saved me and got me to come to zanes, which was great to see people, but I felt really out of place... not because i the people, but because of my head. Left to get a good nights sleep for my early rise the next morning...
I then preceeded to have one of the worst panick stickened nights of my life...all a product of a fearful mind...
I got up around five after not really getting much sleep.
I stated to watch some anzac memorials which completely calmed me. Thinking about gallipoli ecspecially really got my head out of my own brain, thinking about other...
then off to Fool Proof.... Fucking Awesome day. And into the Bush, and the sun and the early morning psy... it was rad... had such a good day. Seeing farshids face when he first saw larissa was so beautiful as she came up as a suprise... dancing his heart of and having his girl suprise him out in the bush :)
Firstly.... we didnt have to pay to get in.... noone on the gate anymore.. it was around 10..rocked out all day... actually saw some djs that i really liked on the sunday.. the sound was incrediable...
Wooo hooo...
THEN>>>>>>>>>
Fucking police........
7 cars and a drug Bus......
and i blew over....
Just 0.06...
long story involved in the situation... but i now will loss 10 demerit points... which means good bye license..
i take full responsibility. but i HONESTLY dont think i was that affected... and 40 mins later i blew 0.03... that doesnt make sense to me... and i wonder how acurate breathilisers are if you havent eaten after drinking liquer.
ANYWAY... 7 police cars and a bus????? on a single dirt road????... if you didnt blow over they drug tested you, every car was being pulled aside...
so once i leave fool proof my life starts to stumble again..
FOR GODS SAKE i hope this is a pedulum swinging affect from coming off my meds and its my body trying to find it balance....
GOOD Luck to me for tomorrows exam.... Totally unprepared, but quietly confident
PS This is the first weekend ive ever done homework on.... NEVER AGAIN!