wish i could just wake up from this nightmare of a life already
this past week has been complete hell... like seriously nothing is going right at all...eric asked for a break...was fine with that, then started thinking about it, i dont want ANOTHER on again off again relationship...they suck, and i always wind up getting hurt....we broke up already once before, and granted it was in the very beginning of our relationship, and i promised myself i wasnt going to go back out with him if we broke up ever again...and well right now, i dont know if we're together at this point...i dont care about anything anymore...im so depressed over this shit, he said he had some problems with his life, and just needed about a month to straighten things out, but the truth is....i dont know if i can "wait" a month to see how things turn out...nor do i really want to wait the month or whatever...i'm so tired of being hurt over this shit...i just want it all to end....just a simple solution to a simple problem..thats all i need...but yet its so much more complicated than that....ive been listening to emo music for the past week, which i can honestly say id never see myself doing...EVER....and well alex was right, its very depressing, and no matter what, no matter how hard i try, i cant be happy listening to it, well except for when i watched ice age...i love that movie....but anyway im think im going to start listening to angry music...listened to some yesterday...kinda of relieving...i have so much built up stress that just turns into anger...and ive never been one to let my feelings out, its just not something i do...except for the few times that alex has me vent to him, which i greatly apprciate...i just dont know what to do...gonna go think things over, and come up with the best solution FOR ME rather than anyone else....