(no subject)
I like how not to many people read livejournal anymore, and half the people I talk to now don't even know I have one, it makes it easier to write whatever I want without having to worry about who will take it too literally. ( see if i knew somebody would read this relativly soon I'd have to write, not that I give a fuck what people think, -- we all do...--)[another side note, if somebody is reading this do you see how messed up I am?]
So here is my big question to the deaf audiance... what do you do when your happier living a life lieing to yourself? You know the truth, you see it and hear it everyday but for some reason believing something else is the only way you'd want to live, maybe even the only way you can. I think that may be all that people do live for, fairy tales and make believe... do you see it you make yourself believe in something? I think the only things that exist are the things we believe in, if you believe in a god with ten heads then he exist to you. The one thing I want, the only thing I'd ask for before i'd die, I'm having trouble believing it even exist.
Time is moving too fast for me now, there isnt enough
and everything takes too much.
sometimes I'm ahead of things and other times I'm behind
and all the answers to my questions are getting harder to find
i cant figure out how i became who i am
or even if i like myself anymore
im lost somewhere between end and begin
and i cant decide which is closer
I can define my priorities
not like anyone else cares
government of my thoughts is anarchy
im just getting blank stares...
if i could define all my feelings
it'd be a ridiculous mess of colors
ugly colors messy and thrown up
and i just want to throw them all up
and nothings beautiful anymore
Sometimes i want to scream FUCK FUCK FUCK ... just like I typed it there, just scream it and watch everyone around me and there reaction. People have seen me upset, but I dont think anyones ever seen me mad, actually the last person who did, saw me really mad, up set angry disapionted, had his eyelid busted open so he didnt see me mad for long. and you what, you know what (who the fuck am i talking to) i wish i could get mad, i wish i could care sometimes as much as other people... if somebody actually saw me mad i dont even remember what im like mad... this is piontless everything is piontless .. and I'm sorry for wasting your time.
So here is my big question to the deaf audiance... what do you do when your happier living a life lieing to yourself? You know the truth, you see it and hear it everyday but for some reason believing something else is the only way you'd want to live, maybe even the only way you can. I think that may be all that people do live for, fairy tales and make believe... do you see it you make yourself believe in something? I think the only things that exist are the things we believe in, if you believe in a god with ten heads then he exist to you. The one thing I want, the only thing I'd ask for before i'd die, I'm having trouble believing it even exist.
Time is moving too fast for me now, there isnt enough
and everything takes too much.
sometimes I'm ahead of things and other times I'm behind
and all the answers to my questions are getting harder to find
i cant figure out how i became who i am
or even if i like myself anymore
im lost somewhere between end and begin
and i cant decide which is closer
I can define my priorities
not like anyone else cares
government of my thoughts is anarchy
im just getting blank stares...
if i could define all my feelings
it'd be a ridiculous mess of colors
ugly colors messy and thrown up
and i just want to throw them all up
and nothings beautiful anymore
Sometimes i want to scream FUCK FUCK FUCK ... just like I typed it there, just scream it and watch everyone around me and there reaction. People have seen me upset, but I dont think anyones ever seen me mad, actually the last person who did, saw me really mad, up set angry disapionted, had his eyelid busted open so he didnt see me mad for long. and you what, you know what (who the fuck am i talking to) i wish i could get mad, i wish i could care sometimes as much as other people... if somebody actually saw me mad i dont even remember what im like mad... this is piontless everything is piontless .. and I'm sorry for wasting your time.