(no subject)
confused. hurt. stressed. torn. . my list goes on. i dont know what to do
i wish i knew what he was thinking. i wish i knew what i could do to make things better. if theres a god i need him now. i'm so lost......nothing is right. nothing. please someone help me. why do i search for answers to the questions that have none. i know the truth but i'm too scared to face it............ my granny died friday. i still havent cried about it. i'm still in shock. she was like my mother i mean how can she be gone. she cant be. shes not.......god please tell me this isnt happening....not again. she was there for me. all she wanted me to do was make something of myself. and look at me....i'm nothing. she would be so upset if she knew how i really was. i always let the ones i love the most down..........WHY IS SHE GONE....god..why...i dont want to go through this again. i cant do it again. i'm not strong enough. i cant breathe.....why can i not handle life. i mean is everyones life as hard as mine. i wish i knew what to do. i want to leave. run from my problems. i cant stay here in this. its nothing but constant pain. constant confusion. i'm so torn. i read someone's away message and it said best friends pull the trigger. well, what if your best friend wants the same thing. feels the same shit. has to deal with the same shit that i do and i cant even help myself, how am i suppose to help her. i want to so bad. i want her to happy more than anything. i hate my life but ya kno, i would take all her pain and add it on to mine if she could be happy. and the person i love more than life itself one of the rare people i would kill for, and i dont even think he cares...what did i do to deserve this....i'm going crazy. what do u do when you dont know how you even feel. you cant fix things if you cant find the source of the problem. but i'm the source of my own problems. i just cant fix them. i dont kno what to do......
this life cannot be mine. i'm so lost......