new stuffs
In response to prompt #3-Music: Keiko Matsui- Light Above the Trees
Title: Daybreak
Genre:Fantasy, angst
Rating:PG
Word Count:1065
Summary: Gods live forever, and so do the whims that take their fancy, but they are fickle by their very nature and bore easily and without exception.
In this half light he could almost pretend. He could imagine that the soft glow came through gauzy fabric curtains, not vinyl blinds. If he let his eyes flutter half-lidded the violet tint to the light could be explained away as the colors of the setting of the sun in the distant, mist cloaked mountains of his homeland. Dark eyes fell closed as though shielding himself from the light would block out the memories that threatened him. A gentle breeze ghosted through the room, drawing a tinkling chime from the charm that hung near the desk in the corner.
The shimmer of sound spoke of days long past, glory lost to the ages. It made him yearn for a home he’d abandoned centuries ago. Breath painfully tight in his chest he willed away the nostalgia, memories of distant lands and even more distant the people that had lived there.
Sharp and jarring the sudden echo of a car horn from the streets below and the tension broke. He could breathe again, eyes widened and there was no mistaking the glow of the city night. Sitting up quickly, he flung back the sheets, disregarding the sleepy mumble from the body beside him. Golden hair gleamed with color in the low light and the very thing that made him worship the owner mere hours ago now made him sick.
He pushed down the memories that clawed at his mind, laughing blue eyes, carefree smile, magnificent lengths of gold hair. Every time it was like this. He would sate the hunger of his flesh with any willing body that would have him, so long as he could lose himself in the ocean of gold, lose himself to the memories.
Rage bubbled up in him, searing in its sudden intensity. A soft growl roiled out of his chest as he gained his feet. He crossed to the closet, not sure which memories were more devastating. Those that he cherished and despised, faded edges, colors dull with age, words garbled under the weight of years. They were beautiful and infinitely more painful than anything else he had ever known. That pain only made keener every time he took some wanton whore to his bed, with their dull eyes, forced smiles, and, his lip curled in distaste, bottled gold, nothing like the liquid metallic silk that had been spun from the very rays of the sun.
He closed his eyes, leaning his forehead against the cool mirror on the closet door. He’d once held the very sun in his hands, burned with the heat of it upon his flesh, and life had been glorious. That made the hurt, the betrayal burn even more. It ate upon his soul like a cancer but would never kill him. He blinked at his reflection, glaring hatefully at the sculpted lines of his own face. Dark mysterious eyes, deep crimson hair that fell around his face in a halo of feather light strands, long nose, hard jaw, full lips. Beautiful many would say. It was as much a curse as the lingering years, life moving around him, ever changing while he remained, unchanged except in the poisoning of his soul.
Tearing his eyes away from his own haunted reflection he quickly wrenched clothing from hangers, slamming the door shut with a snap. He dressed as quickly and efficiently as possible. Jeans, tee, heavy boots. The fine strands of his hair were drawn back into a tight ponytail. He pulled on his jacket and the rasp of a voice from the bed drew his attention.
“Leave this place.” He growled in answer to whatever the question had been. He could hear the quiet protest as he left the apartment but paid it no mind. What did he care, really? One more look into that imperfect face with it’s false yellow hair and he’d be violently ill. Repulsed by that which he could never replace, and himself for tainting the beauty of his memories with this… He shook his head, there were no words.
Once out of the apartment his feet carried him swiftly down the stairwell, out the front door, into the parking garage. The bike roared to life beneath his hands, the helmet a satisfying weight on his shoulders and then in a surge of sound and nauseating scent he was gone, weaving onto the street with expert precision built on years of practice. He navigated the busy city streets masterfully, concentrating everything he had on the speed, the motion, determination urging him onward.
He let his eyes flick upward, gauging the dawn by the quality of light, watching the twinkle of stars slowly fade as the city fell away behind him. As usual, his timing was perfect. The city a distant sprawl behind him, dry hot sand stretching out before him and he paused, leaning back on the seat of his pick, dragging off the oppressive helmet.
The sky was a soft grey blue here, not the rich color it held in his homeland. It matched perfectly to his memories and then the sun broke the horizon, bright and brilliant. Heat and light spilled over him, the warm rays caressing his face like a lover and it took all he had not to press into it as though it were tangible. Why did he come here to torture himself after those nights in the arms of faded pale haired imposters? Was it guilt? Some twisted sense of duty, as though it were he that was betraying the memories?
Tears stung his eyes, tightened his throat and he glared into the morning sun. Whoever said the sun smiled upon rising was a fool. It laughed, laughed at its joyous games as it abandoned the mortal world it wandered through the night. Laughed as it abandoned those it enticed to love it. Even as it returned to the heavens that love lingered on, painful and poisonous against the steady flow of time.
“Fuck you.” He spat to the horizon, dazzlingly brilliant. He returned the helmet and spun the bike around, leaving the rising sun at his back as he sped towards the city again. In the sky, high above the city, he could still make out the dim stars that were his companions now in this nocturnal life he lived.
When you had touched the face of the sun, what comfort could the stars really give?