New Fic: Once More: Consequences (sequel to Once More) pt. 2/?

[nikita79x]

Part Two of Once More: Consequences

Part Two

Some noise was bugging him and he didn’t like it, McCoy fuzzily swatted at his right ear as if it was a mosquito or fly buzzing around it. The noise didn’t stop. But as he was slowly waking up more he began to realize it must’ve been the chime on his door, and then he further awakened when he heard Spock’s voice authorizing an override on his door lock. McCoy had only a second to glance down at his still naked body and hastily gather up the top cover as Spock strode in, his face stern and almost angry.

“What in blazes do you think you’re doing?!” McCoy shouted as he tried to cover himself up.

Spock’s eyes widened at the doctor’s nudity and he turned to the side, facing away as he knew human social conventions would demand, but could think of nothing to say, he’d been frustrated at the lack of answer by the occupant only moments ago and when he’d overridden the door lock he’d obviously overreacted, thinking the doctor was being insubordinate. McCoy must’ve been too deep in sleep to hear the chime - he had mentioned his exhaustion in sickbay only two hours earlier. Once again Spock had allowed his emotions to overcome him. He’d thought the doctor was ignoring him and evading him as he had in sickbay and so he’d leapt to wrong conclusion and acted on it.

“All right, damn it, you can turn around, and tell me what the hell was so damn important you had to burst into my quarters?! I don’t see puddles of green blood on the floor so it can’t be a medical emergency.” McCoy was clearly angry and Spock couldn’t blame him so he ignored the profanity and lack of respect due to his position as First Officer.

He turned and saw that the doctor was standing wrapped up in the blanket up to his chest and covering all but his feet with one bare arm exposed clutching it tight at the shoulder. He also saw a huge scowl on the man’s face, but there was a hint of something in his eyes…something like - he had a good idea of just why Spock was there. Spock’s need to talk to the doctor increased with this notation, but there was no excuse for his impetuous behavior.

“My apologies, doctor. I did not realize your lack of answer to the door chime was because you were so deeply asleep. You had mentioned your need for rest - Vulcan hearing is far more acute and I hadn’t taken the possibility of human auditory ability when combined with exhaustion into account. I shall come back later when you have had more time to recover from your mission.” Spock turned to leave, he wasn’t sure if he was reluctant to leave without answers or eager to depart from the awkward situation - dealing with humans in such intimate settings were always perplexing.

“Now wait a damn minute, you barged in here just because I didn’t answer your summons fast enough so you must have a good reason.” McCoy shifted, hitching the blanket up slightly.

Spock noticed he looked resigned, though still angry.

“And I’m wide-awake now, thanks to you. So if you’ll just wait here, I’ll put my uniform on in the ‘fresher and we can talk. I have to get back to sickbay soon anyway. I doubt I could sleep again so soon after this ruckus,” McCoy gestured vaguely towards the chair at his computer consol and grabbed a uniform on his way to the ‘fresher without waiting for Spock’s reply. Spock was only slightly shocked at the doctor’s imperious tone, but complied. He was becoming used to the doctor’s strong personality; it was in some ways refreshing, though he would never tell McCoy that. The human had a way of…how would the doctor put it? ‘Cutting through the bullshit,’ Spock seemed to remember hearing once. It certainly was an improvement to many of the other human crewmembers who liked to engage in what they called ‘small talk’ or employ other techniques in avoiding important discussions.

As the ‘fresher door closed the blanket slipped slightly and Spock noticed a few unhealed bruises on the man’s upper back and shoulders, particularly what appeared to be…a hickey? Uhura had once given him one and he’d been shocked at such primal way of marking one during lovemaking. He had never told her he’d rather enjoyed it - he pushed the errant thought from his mind. It made no difference now. Spock’s curiosity of just where McCoy had been and what he’d been up to increased considerably, though. Granted, such marks could have happened on the transit back to the Enterprise…

Spock had no further chance to ruminate as the doctor emerged, brushing his hair in regulation fashion, and then tossing the blanket haphazardly back on the bed before sitting on the edge of it.

“All right, Spock, out with it. What do you want?” he asked in a resigned tone, the anger seemed to have deflated.

“I do not quite know how to begin. Your mission from which you just returned from is classified and I have no wish to defy regulations in asking about it, but I have a strong suspicion that I know where you were. You were dealing with the survivors at New Vulcan - or at least that you were in contact with my counterpart during your mission and this knowledge or the possibility of it will not allow me peace until I have spoken to you about it. I do not know how else to put it…” Spock struggled with his words. He had stridden down the hall of the Enterprise to the doctor’s room with a great sense of purpose and now he was at a loss as how to proceed. He should have thought more on how he would handle this situation. He was normally far more prepared and this feeling of imbalance and wrongness was increasing now that he was in close vicinity with the human again.

McCoy didn’t seem confused, though, he simply nodded. “I was on New Vulcan,” he said simply. “I’m sorry that information was held from you until now - it was at the request of your counterpart and also of your father and the other Elders. They released me from my obligation to keep this information from you should you ask me so I’m not breaking any regulations now. You can ask me anything you want.” This last sentence had a bit of hesitation to it. The doctor almost looked frightened for a moment before stiffening his shoulders and slipping his professional mask back into place.

Spock raised his eyebrow as was his want when given surprising news. “And why did my father and counterpart not wish me to know of a medical emergency in the colony?” his voice was tightly controlled.

McCoy sighed and rubbed his face, abandoning his rather lame attempt at professionalism - he was still tired, he hadn’t had enough sleep for this conversation, but there was no choice in it.

“The medical emergency affected all Vulcans who were in the locality of the planet, or more accurately within the vicinity of the survivors themselves. Your presence there might have affected you, actually, I can say now it would definitely have affected you and it was their wish - and I agree - that you should be kept from it since you are not needed there at this time. I was sent to deal with setting up a larger medical center and training other doctors to deal with the sudden unexpected increase in births and possible complications.” McCoy checked Spock’s face, but there was an impassive mask set there, was that good or bad? He couldn’t tell, but continued anyway.

“There weren’t enough healers to deal with the sudden population boom going on. I have personally birthed quite a few Vulcans recently. The pointed ears are rather cute at that age, I’ll admit,” McCoy said with a tentative smile. It was pointless; Spock stood suddenly and began pacing.

“The Pon Farr - you were dealing with the Pon Farr and a sudden population boom is due to the biological imperative of my species to replenish our people.” His mind was racing with the knowledge - why did he not foresee this before?

McCoy watched him warily, knowing how touchy Vulcans were about the Pon Farr knowledge. “Yes, I was called in by your counterpart - he told me he trusted me to deal with this especially as he had eventually trusted my counterpart in his universe during his own Pon Farr. It was his experience that helped the colony deal with letting Offworlders know about the phenomenon, but don’t worry, it’s all classified and only under certain conditions will it be shared at Starfleet Medical. We’ve done the best we can to keep it quiet out of respect for your people’s privacy. Jim knows, though, Spock - the other Spock wanted him to know, too. But it goes no further on the Enterprise, I promise you.”

Spock was embarrassed to know that even one human knew of the Pon Farr, and to think it was his own counterpart’s actions…but if the situation was dire, then it was the only logical thing to do. And his counterpart obviously trusted McCoy - or rather McCoy’s counterpart just as he'd trusted Kirk from his experiences in the other universe. That was when he seized on one part of McCoy’s speech: “I went through the Pon Farr then, in the other universe?”

McCoy nodded, “You weren’t sure because of your human side, right? It snuck up on him - the other Spock - he hadn’t known when exactly when or even if to expect it to happen to him, and there were difficulties getting you to Vulcan then, but we did get you there, apparently, but it didn’t go well….your betrothed refused you. But you survived the kal-if-fee and afterwards let her and her chosen one go free rather than claim her.”

Spock sat back down. “T’Pring? The name, the woman, was the same?”

“Yes. She didn’t survive in this universe, but I guess you must know that. So what happens now is up to you. If all goes according to the other timeline’s schedule and you stay away from New Vulcan, you should not experience the Pon Farr for several years, you have time to pick a new mate, one who deserves you,” McCoy said roughly.

Spock raised his eyebrow again. “You seem emotionally involved in this matter. What does it matter to you who I choose to mate with?” he asked suspiciously.

McCoy raised both eyebrows himself. “I don’t. I just…when Sp - your counterpart shared with me T’Pring’s betrayal and what you went through…I just felt…relief maybe that you are free from experiencing that - and that you can find someone you want to mate with, I know you didn’t love her, but you were too loyal and trusting in her loyalty. Now you are free to find someone who won’t betray you and nearly kill you." McCoy tried his best to keep the emotion from his voice, but he knew he was failing. Luckily Spock seemed far too preoccupied with the sudden knowledge of his own potential Pon Farr to notice.

Spock looked away from him, he didn't want to think on that now - especially not so soon after Uhura...he thought of the mission and how long McCoy was gone and then he remembered McCoy's shielding abilities and his need to understand that situation.

"Since you seem to be willing to share so much knowledge with me all of a sudden...please tell me, doctor: how is it my counterpart came to teach you to shield yourself from touch telepathy - and why?"

McCoy blinked at that, and then looked down at the wrinkled blanket he was sitting on. He couldn't leave it like that before going back to work; he stood and began to straighten the bed, avoiding the question. A totally useless gesture, ‘but he wasn’t ready - damn it, he just wasn’t ready…’

Spock watched the obvious evasion with increasing interest. "Doctor? I did not mean to invade your privacy when I touched you in sickbay, but I should have at least felt your surface emotions and even strong enough thoughts without a mindmeld, but you immediately put up strong shields, and they were obviously taught to you by my counterpart."

McCoy tucked in his last hospital corner and sat down again, his eyes scanned the room looking for distraction before sighing and looking at Spock with resignation. "Spock taught them to me, yes. Your counterpart - he wanted me to have the ability."

"Why should he think a human needs this ability? How closely did you work with my counterpart?" Spock was suddenly feeling rather strong emotions he couldn't quite identify, he knew his voice was lowering dangerously and tried again to rein in his emotions - it was becoming increasingly difficult.

McCoy looked down at his hands clasped before him and began to speak, not meaning to look up or stop until he had the whole story out in the open. "When your counterpart contacted me...he was in the beginning of Pon Farr. It snuck up on him again...even at his age - like I said, close contact in that colony will spark the Pon Farr, even with your half human heritage and at his age - later on he told me he’d been past the time of Pon Farr in the other universe. He didn't tell me his condition, though, and he refused to be seen by the healers, but your father knew and the Elders did, too.  They wanted me to examine him and to help them convince him to choose a mate. He needed to bond fast before it endangered his life. There were a few promising unbonded females of good families - all quite willing. He refused. He snuck out and stole the Starfleet shuttle."

Spock shifted in his chair at this, but said nothing. He was embarrassed again at his behavior, even if it wasn't truly his own, but his counterpart’s. But then again, irrational behavior was part of the Pon Farr, especially in the later stages.

"Well, I was already on the shuttle - I knew he was up to something. The Pon Farr had him so distracted he didn’t even notice. I listened while he voice-locked himself out of the controls and aimed it at a Vulcan sun, ready to end his life rather than save it. He wouldn’t ‘pollute the remaining Vulcan population with his human blood’ and he said he didn’t even belong in this universe. And when he saw me, he tried to convince me to return the controls to him so he could dump me back on the colony and return on his suicide mission. I convinced him otherwise."

Spock leaned forward, "How?" he asked, his voice a harsh whisper, but he knew…he knew now - he could sense it.

"I bonded with him." McCoy continued to stare at his clasped hands, he remembered the deep meld they'd shared in the shuttle, and he felt a drop of wetness on his hands and was shocked to realize it was one of his own tears. He brushed his eyes clear, roughly and clasped his hands again, still not looking at the silent Spock before him.

"Out of pity? Or was it a medical decision - your doctor's oath and duty to a dying man?" Spock asked his voice rising slightly, harsher.

McCoy looked up angrily, his face flushed red. "None of your business! Our bond is not based on pity, though, and I won't have you speak badly of it. I love him. He loves me."

Spock looked nearly as shocked as he had when his mother had died. "Love? You haven't known him long enough. I have heard of humans spout such banalities of love at first sight, but I seriously doubt that was the case even if such a thing could be true."

McCoy stood, but backed away a step from the suddenly unstable Spock, his arms crossed. "We shared a mindmeld during the first part of the bond on the shuttle - in the other universe we were bondmates then, in love, I saw it through his mind, but also my counterpart's memories and feelings that he shared with his T’hyla - they were so intertwined…they shared so many experiences. And through the meld I experienced what they did - it was overwhelming at first. I blacked out on the shuttle, luckily after we were already nearly at the colony, but I knew it was right the moment I woke...that we were right together. That I wanted that feeling for myself and that he wanted me, too. I still had to convince him, though - he wanted to give me every opportunity to back out, but I didn’t want to and I know he didn’t really want to, either. We couldn’t stay apart, it was too late, I’d experienced too much of what we could have.

“I was formally bonded with him the next day on New Vulcan with the full ceremony. You deserve to know, and Spock - he wanted to tell you, we were thinking of setting up a rendezvous with him soon or for a long range comm so he could answer your questions, too, but he had a feeling that you would probably end up figuring it out and talking to me alone about it first. I had hoped to at least have one day on board the Enterprise to tell you, though."

McCoy scrubbed at his face and let his shoulders slump. There. It was out in the open, for better or for worse.

Spock was unnaturally still, though he stared at McCoy with inscrutable eyes. McCoy wasn't sure if Spock was going to hit him or leave without a word. He was hoping on the latter. Damn, he wished he wasn’t so tired. And Jim. Jim would likely try to leave Sickbay the second the nurses turned their back - he wanted to get there and check out his friend and captain himself - and he still had a lot of explaining to do with him, too. Lord there weren’t enough hours in the day sometimes…

The first officer finally broke his gaze and got up, pacing the room. He clasped his hands behind his back as if he was about to give a review. The doctor waited uneasily.

Suddenly Spock stopped and looked McCoy in the eye, his expression a bit more understanding, but still stern. “You have been through a great deal...I will give you some time to recover and readjust to your duties on the ship. And I will contact my counterpart as well. But you do realize there may be unforeseen consequences from this bond? There is no past data to compare this to, but being bonded with my counterpart....you and I being on the same ship may not be wise." Spock headed towards the door, but stopped at McCoy’s suddenly anxious voice behind him.

"That's why he taught me to shield.  I know how to block my thoughts from you and the two of you are different in many ways, at least mentally - he’s had a long life experience that you haven’t had - he’s learned disciplines that you haven’t - or haven’t yet. And he still believes strongly that you, Kirk, and I and all the rest of the bridge crew should remain together. He firmly believes this is one thing we should not allow Nero to destroy."

Spock stood still again, his back still to him, but then he nodded curtly and began to exit the door, he turned briefly before the doors would close and held a hand out to stop them. “I will speak with him. And I thank you for your candor, I will consider my next actions carefully, but I do not know what they will be and I will not have others dictate to me what they will be - not even my counterpart.”

****
Jim woke with a headache and he had a feeling it wasn’t the first time, but a nurse was there, apparently having woken him up and she gave him a dose of medicine that took the pain away. He thanked her and was informed he needed to stay in sickbay until Dr. McCoy released him and that he should rest in between neurological checks, but that all readings indicated he should be fine. Kirk gave her his most winsome smile and a fake yawn and closed his eyes. He waited precisely three minutes until he was sure he was alone and started to roll off the med bed.

“Stop it, you’ll only end up on the floor again,” McCoy’s mocking voice rang in his ears too loudly.

Jim rolled off the table anyway, felt a wave of vertigo and clung to the bed without falling, barely. “Didn’t,” he said petulantly, but he rolled back onto the bed with a groan anyway.

McCoy stuck him in the neck with a hypospray - and just why did he jab Kirk with those sprays harder than the nurses did? Jim was about to make a wisecrack about his friend’s lousy bedside manner, but he felt a wonderful sense of calm and lack of vertigo come over him and he decided to forget the comment. The doctor giveth and he might taketh away… Jim closed his eyes and groaned with appreciation this time.

“I figured you’d be escaping by now. You’ll stay until I tell you otherwise - you had a nice hard knock on the wrong end of the bunk.”

Jim grunted, “I did? Who was it with? She’d better have been special for this kind of trouble,” Kirk said grumpily, opening only one eye to look at his friend.

McCoy gaped at him. “Do you not remember-?”

Jim snickered impishly, “Just kidding. I remember - at least I think I do. I am really hoping you’re going to tell me that I dreamed it all, though - you married that old Vulcan from the future?” Kirk’s last words were spoken with fresh skepticism.

McCoy scowled and played with the instruments by Jim’s bed just to make his friend anxious he’d be jabbed with a new hypo.

In a quiet, but menacing voice he said, “I married a Vulcan who had a huge part in saving all our lives and that my own counterpart had quite a history with. We were bondmates. For a LONG time. And I fell in love with him. And I won’t hear another word about it until you’re ready to be supportive - if that’s even possible for you,” McCoy dropped the hypo he’d been fiddling with back on the tray with a clatter and left sickbay. Jim opened his mouth behind him to call out, but the doctor was too fast for him.

****

Leonard didn’t need to defend himself any more today. He’d had more than enough. He wanted to be back on New Vulcan and alone with Spock in that tiny room of his. He had thought he was back at home on the Enterprise, but between his best friend’s reaction and Spock’s visit - he was feeling mighty sorry for himself. He needed to get away from the both of them. And he couldn’t even comm his own Spock because the younger one was likely talking to him right now. Why the hell did everything have to be so mixed up?

McCoy searched until he found one of the observation areas - it was thankfully empty and he sat in a chair and turned it away from the stars to stare at the blank wall behind the viewport. He didn’t want to go back to his quarters because he’d just drown his sorrows in alcohol and he was on duty soon anyway. He’d just stay here and maybe find some peace, but not by looking at the stars streaking past like other crewmembers usually did - he’d rather imagine himself back on New Vulcan - or maybe back at his father’s house in Georgia. He still had that land. He’d been exaggerating when he’d said he had only his bones left in the divorce, but only slightly. The house was worthless, rundown and in desperate need of fixing up and the land not in a particularly profitable spot.

It was also his through his father’s will after the divorce proceedings so he did have one place he could go back to one day. For now he didn’t want to return there until the memory of his father’s death - and his hand in it had faded. If that was even possible, McCoy sighed.

‘Boy, I’m just full of good memories and thoughts tonight,’ he thought bitterly to himself. Maybe he should seek out good company instead.  Scotty should be with his engines, but not too busy since as far as McCoy knew he was only fussing around down there like McCoy did in his own Sickbay when not infested with offensive concussed Captains.

Maybe they could chat and just have a friendly glass of whiskey - Scotty’s confinement on that base had made him a bit of a chatterbox and he welcomed company, especially late at night as McCoy knew from past experience. And with that thought, he also stopped to pick up a few sandwiches to share with the man. Feeling more cheerful already, McCoy stepped onto the turbolift with almost a smile on his face. He shouldn’t let this situation get him down. He had to remember to focus on the positive. His own Spock would want him to do so.

It felt good to know there was someone out there in the universe that loved you and cared for you. And it was also good to know there were other friends on this ship. McCoy walked towards Engineering with a bit more lightness to his step and a smile that was beginning to grow as he heard Scotty alternately cursing and speaking encouragingly to his precious engines.

***
Jim lay awake, his head hurting, but not because of the concussion, but because he knew he’d hurt his friend. Damn, why did he have to be such an ass sometimes? Okay, most of the time. But not with McCoy - he and McCoy were best friends. Bones was the first real friend he’d ever made - and he’d been one of the most supportive ones, too. Hell, he’d never have gotten on the Enterprise without him. Bones had put his entire career on the line for him - he’d risked court martial. He listened to Jim whenever the captain needed to unload on him…why couldn’t he have handled this situation better?

He needed to apologize to the man - it must’ve taken a huge leap of faith for his friend to open himself up to a marriage like that so soon after that bitch of a wife divorced him. If it had been a girl on the ship or one he’d met on shore leave - wouldn’t Jim have been happy for him? Hell, even a Vulcan woman? Well, he would have found that odd, but not impossible and Jim to accept easier. Was it the fact that he’d just learned Leonard was bi and married a man? Well, that was part of it. He’d had NO idea.  And if he thought back to some jokes he’d made in the past - ah, but Bones had told him to not be so homophobic in the past, hadn’t he? That should have been a clue; he just thought it was the older man trying to teach his younger one more tolerance. And he’d been right - he regretted using homophobic jokes now as he had in the past - even if it was just to provoke a fight. So what was it that bugged him so much - well, that was obvious - it was the fact that McCoy’s choice was the alternate and faaaaar older Spock that really just seemed wrong.

But had he really let Bones tell him about it? No, he’d been an ass. He needed to let the other man explain it better. Just because the counterpart Spock and McCoy were bondmates didn’t mean his McCoy should feel obligated or something.

Wow…the other universe had held a Spock and a McCoy that weren’t arguing all the time? Ones that slept together?? Bones might be bisexual, but was Spock as well? He knew Spock had been with Uhura, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t hiding another sexual proclivity, too. Heck, was everyone bi on this ship? Jim’s head was really hurting now - was he…? He thought of Leonard or Spock naked - nope.   Well… No, no, definitely no. Or was he denying something?! Was he overcompensating?? Jeez, what did they have him on, anyway? He pushed the button on his bio bed and asked the nurse to list any possible side effects of his drugs. She offered to get Dr. McCoy for him if he was really concerned and he shook his head a little too hard, clutching it.

“No, no, he’s off-duty and he needs his rest, too. I was just wondering if it gave people weird thoughts or hallucinations or anything. I’m feeling kinda crappy right now,” he said pitifully.

The nurse bent over him and took his vitals by hand, something McCoy’s people did routinely, though they also consulted the biobed vitals. It was just an old fashioned and sometimes more accurate way as Bones often said. As the nurse felt his pulse and kept an eye on the chrono above his bed he admired her discrete cleavage and how her skirt rode up behind her - if he was in another biobed he’d get enjoy that view, too. Jim decided that he definitely preferred girls. And he’d just as soon keep it that way for now.

But for his friend, he’d be supportive. He’d seek Bones out as soon as the other man would let him and he’d listen and do his best to be a good friend like Leonard had always been for him. He wondered what the Spock of this ship would think of all this, though? Had Bones told him yet?

Yet another reason to kick himself for chasing Bones out of sickbay - he desperately wanted to know if his First Officer knew just what was going on with the CMO and his counterpart. And just how the heck were they all going to deal with this? No one had ever covered this kind of thing in command classes or tests. He rather thought the Kobayashi Maru had been a walk in the park next to this situation.

****
Leonard returned to his quarters in a better frame of mind, got some much needed sleep and then reported for duty just as Jim was ready to be released.

“Well, Captain, everything checks out fine and as long as you avoid slippery floors and hard corners you should be fine,” he said professionally. Almost completely normal. Almost.

“Bones, you know - of all people - how much I hate to say the words…so I’m hoping they mean something to you…I’m sorry,” Jim said, his voice a little tight.

McCoy looked up from his padd and nodded, his face relaxed finally. “I do. And I guess that means I have to accept your apology since it is so hard for YOU.”

Jim sighed and grinned, glad that part was over with at least. “You realize we have a lot to talk about? And your marriage - is it legal with the Federation? I’ve got paperwork I’ll have to get to about this,” he grimaced.

McCoy glanced around the sickbay again, he’d made sure it was clear in the first place just in case his friend started getting talkative, but it was still clear. His nurses and the other doctor were busy with the tasks he’d given him.

“Yes, we can talk later…but the marriage is legal and I suppose you do have paperwork to fill out and so do I. But I know I can trust you to keep this as quiet as possible, right? Send the paperwork without your yeoman or anyone else? Especially bypassing Uhura’s station somehow? I don’t need another awkward discussion right now to add to the list.” the doctor’s tone was pleading and Kirk felt for his friend. He wouldn’t want his private life gossiped about like that either.

“Of course, Bones, you can count on me. But that talk - we’re having it SOON. I need to check in on the bridge and - wait - our Spock knows, too, then? Do you want him in on this conversation? How’d he take it? Did he-”

Bones held up a hand to stop the flow of overexcited chattering questions - his friend’s mind was always going at warp speed. The problem with having such a young, smart and energetic friend.

“I didn’t seek him out - he just knew in a way, and you’ll definitely want to hear the story. Truth is, he didn’t take it too well, either, not that I blame him at all. He’s going to talk to Sp- the other Spock and then…well, I don’t have any idea what happens then, but I’m not looking forward to that conversation, either. You and I can talk after duty hours and this time we’ll leave the alcohol out of it, okay?”

Jim smiled and put a hand on his friend’s shoulder. “Definitely. And I want you to know that despite my earlier reaction…if you’re happy with your decision, then I’m happy for you, okay?”

Leonard was a little shocked and moved at his friend’s words. “Thank you, Jim. I am happy - happier than I’ve been in a long time.” For the first time since the whole business started, Jim saw a genuine smile on his friend’s face. But then his expression darkened, “Or I will be once both Spocks have talked and our First Officer gets his nose out of my business.”

****

Ambassador Spock had been expecting the comm, though it did come rather sooner than expected. He excused himself from his current tasks and took the comm in his room. He should not have been, but he could not help the instinctive surprise at the sight of his younger face.

After the traditional hand sign of greeting, he said politely, “Commander Spock, I trust you and the ship are doing well.”

The younger Spock gravely nodded, “Yes, of course. But that is not the matter in which I have need to speak with you as I’m sure you have anticipated.”

“I take it you mean the matter between Dr. McCoy and I?” he asked. “Normally I would state that it is strictly the business between myself and my T’hyla, however circumstances are far from the norm. If you have questions I am willing to answer them - to a point.”

The younger Spock raised his eyebrow at that, but seemed to accept that there were limits to which he could inquire. “Very well. I question your use of the term T’hyla first of all - you have known him for a very short amount of time and your bonding seems to have been one of necessity rather than choice.”

The older Spock was not above feeling a flare of irritation, but he dealt with it as he always handled his emotions and none of it showed on his face. “I have known the McCoy of this universe, but a short time, it is true…but I have known him in another time - and we shared much during the bonding - and he is as much my T’hyla here as he was then. You have not experienced the Pon Farr or the bonding.  Thee cannot understand the true melding of minds and experiences - the twining of two halves in one. I resisted as much as I could - tried to spare this younger, unattached version of Leonard McCoy, but he is a man of great strength and a good deal of stubbornness and I believe that no matter what universe, I could not escape him for long. I hope one day you know such love.” The last words were spoken with a great deal of honesty.

The younger Spock stared at him silently, processing what the older version of himself had said. “How is it you came to be bonded with him the first time?” he finally asked.

Ambassador Spock looked away from the screen for a moment considering. “The failed bond, did Leonard tell you of it?”

“Very little - he said T’Pring refused me, and I in turn refused her, and that I somehow survived the challenge. But did I leave unbonded from Vulcan? How did I survive? McCoy?” he asked incredulously.

The older Spock nodded. “He was my friend, he went down with me to the ceremony, he helped me get through the challenge using a bit of trickery and then once aboard the Enterprise and heading away from Vulcan, I tried to deny the Pon Farr yet again, but it was useless.  I still needed to bond. You will know by now how the doctor does not let matters rest easily. He came to my quarters. The rest I prefer not to speak of. It was not pity, though. There was no easy time afterwards, though, I tried to spare him the full meaning of a bond. It was only later that I slowly realized we could not be apart - it hurt both of us to try. That is partly why I do not fight it now. I know we are better together than not. And now that I have answered your questions - I hope you will answer one of mine: why did you break off your relationship with Uhura? From Leonard’s mind and my conversations with Jim you seem to have been well suited together and quite close.”

The younger Spock seemed taken aback by the question. He would not have spoken of it to anyone else and if his counterpart had not been so candid already. “The destruction of our world has affected me deeply. I could not give her the level of intimacy as much as she wished. She thought she could take away the pain, but it is not that easy. I found myself distancing from her, using Vulcan techniques to deal with the emotional pain - these were not understandable to her - I was hurting her. I freed her to find someone more suitable. Circumstances in my life changed such that our relationship simply didn’t seem right any longer. I regret the pain I caused her - and continue to do so, but I do not believe there is a chance of reconciliation. I would prefer to focus on my work.”

The older Spock nodded, contemplating how he himself would feel in the other Spock’s situation, he felt it was only logical and he told his counterpart so. “But if I may offer one piece of advice - do not close yourself off to any possibility of finding love again - with Uhura or in another person. It is a vastly rewarding and healing experience. Give yourself time, but do not wait too long…you will eventually face the Pon Farr yourself one day, after all.”

The younger Spock nodded with resignation. “So I know now. I do not know how I will ever do so, though. I do not wish another arranged bonding and I agree with your decision to not pollute what is left of our Vulcan race - times have changed that situation.”

The older Spock observed him quietly for a moment. “That was not my only concern - I felt it wrong as I was not of this universe as well…and also, I did not desire to ever bond again. Leonard was my T’hyla - to take another, even out of biological necessity would have felt wrong. But I felt and still do feel, he would approve of the resulting solution.”

Spock’s left eyebrow rose, he could not contemplate such a bond with another being - yet here was proof that it might be possible. Or it might not - he still believed that the bond had been made impetuously and with reckless disregard of the possible consequences. True, he would not wish to see his counterpart dead as he’d been obviously intent on committing suicide rather than seek another way to safeguard his life and McCoy’s actions on the shuttle had been logical to sustain them until they could reach New Vulcan. Still, he could not shake the feeling that the human, McCoy, under the influence of a very intense mindmeld - and having never experienced a meld in the first place, had not been in his right mind when the full bonding ceremony had taken place. He said as much to his counterpart.

“I shared your concerns. I did not consent to the full bonding ceremony until I had him checked out by the most senior Vulcan healer we have left. She assured us that he had a most resilient mind and had assimilated the meld as well as any human could be expected to - and that his emotions and motives were his own and not an echo of the counterpart’s memories and desires left within my katra.”

Spock’s other eyebrow raised, “Such a bonding - one with merged vistiges of another’s katra has only been rumored of in Vulcan folklore - and then it would only be possible with the Vulcan that had held another’s Katra.”

The older Spock held his fingertips up to his lips, palms facing each other as he looked back at his younger self. It was so difficult to know how much information to impart - who knew what would happen in this universe and how much he himself was affecting it. Was it not already affected far too much by Nero’s actions and his own interference that he could impart still more knowledge of the other universe?   Spock decided since this universe’s McCoy had all of his secrets already, it was only fair to share it with this Spock. But he would only go so far.

“McCoy was my T’hyla for many years…I entrusted my Katra with him in a matter of great urgency I regret I did not prepare him for such a possibility beforehand - I died shortly thereafter, which I did not regret as it saved many lives, including my T’hyla. My body rejuvenated under rather improbable circumstances - and Jim, Uhura, Scotty, Chekov, Sulu and McCoy - my friends. They all risked everything - not just their careers, but also their lives, in saving mine. My Katra was reunited with my body, but we still retained pieces of our katras - our souls - whatever either of our cultures wish to call it. I still carry a small piece of him, - of my universe’s McCoy within me - I heard his voice - just the once - very recently, at first I thought it was the Pon Farr, but I do not believe that anymore.  I realize how this sounds, but…it is what it is…

“And bonding with McCoy in this universe, he and I have no regrets - except only the inevitable affect on you and your life decisions. I sincerely hope you do not decide to leave the Enterprise, but I fully acknowledge it is YOUR decision and no one else’s. I can only hope. And I now must ask a favor from you, which you are under no obligation of fulfilling, of course.”

The younger Spock was still reeling with all this information - he would need much time to meditate on all of this. But still he nodded solemnly for the other Spock to ask his favor.

“Watch over my T’hyla…if you leave the Enterprise I realize this will be more difficult, but even then, within whatever capacity you can…as a Starfleet officer you will be privy to information I will not be - even though I am still a Federation Ambassador and I have certain rights as his spouse…he may need help only you can provide. Will you do this for me?”

Spock looked once more at the older visage, it showed no emotion unless one knew the smallest of signs only he, as a Vulcan and the owner of the same face, if much less lined, would notice - and nodded, holding his hands in the traditional Vulcan salute.

Only this time he spoke the words “I swear on the blood and the katras our ancestors, I will look after the one you call T’hyla and I will do everything in my power to keep him safe. I will look after him as if he were my own.” It was the most ancient of vows and not one taken lightly. He took a slightly deeper breath than normal and continued,   “I will remain on the Enterprise. It is my own wish and it will be the most efficient way to fulfill my vow. I still wish to meet with you again in person, though. After this mission I believe I can arrange a meeting between the two of us away from New Vulcan. May I make what arrangements I can and then forward them to you for your approval?”

The older Spock nodded and there seemed an easing of tension in his shoulders, one neither Spock had noticed until that moment.  “Yes, I will free my schedule as soon as it is convenient for you. I do believe our next meeting will be an interesting one. Ambassador Spock out,” he closed the secured channel without waiting for a reply.

The younger Spock sat staring at the screen for .6 minutes before turning in his chair and getting up to report to duty early. He found he was not ready to meditate on the subject. Work would be more calming at the moment. And he must complete a few of his more sensitive experiments early if he was to request time off. He made a mental note to ask the Captain for leave as soon as it was possible to speak with him privately.

****