Dear Heather:
I couldn’t sleep tonight because I kept thinking about was you. How you are sick and I can not do anything to help you. That must sound strange because we have not spoken in years; but I still think of you often, mostly old memories. When I think about growing up, I think about growing up with you. Making up dances in my back yard for Mrs. Alt. Your mom video taping us dancing to the song from Michael. The time I made you laugh so hard you peed yourself-literally. Or when we thought there was a ghost in my living room. When I think of Jr. High dances, or living in Wimmerton, or being in school, I think of you-this was my childhood. But now you have a child, and it is hard to escape this idea that we have grown up. Now that we have grown up we have grown apart, also. Sometimes I miss your friendship, Heather, and other times I don’t. I am sure this is likewise for you. I am not sure why our friendship ever ended, I was probably being immature about something. I have horrible pains of guilt right now. Not over our friendship ending, but if I never speak to you again and if something would happen to you. Everyone asks about what they would want to do if they had one day to live or if they are on their death bed, well this is one of those scenarios. I am not sure if you are dying, but I feel in my heart you are. You could be, and I would be devastated if I didn’t do something about this crap between us. Maybe it is distance, maybe it is time, maybe it is age, maybe that is all the same thing. I think visiting you would be more awkward for me than you; that is usually that case. I am the one who wants to solve all this anyways. You always were nicer. You always tried to fix things, say hi, send cards. I ignored everything. Now you are dying and I am the one trying to say hi, send cards, fix things.