Time the fuck out dawgs
He is not a winner. He is a big loser infact. He doesn't call me, he doesn't care. He uses me for my affection, my time, my love that I want to show. He pretends: to be interested, to be loving, to be necessary. He is none of these. I get excited; I tell myself that this might be it. I might be ready for some committment. But committ to what? Myself and this nothingness? Of course I have roped myself into my own trapped of mindbullshit. I am not insecure. I am strong. If I continue to keep myself new I will never hurt myself and always be a stranger. He means nothing to me. There was not enough history to allow for any feelings. So why do I feel? I smile, I think, I care, I feel and a lot about him. So why doesn't he do this about me. Maybe he does. Maybe he is hiding all of this. or maybe not. I hate this maybe shit. This makes him a loser. I want someone with no maybes involved. Does that exist? In Weird Science it did. Aerosmith is telling me "Dream On". When I walked into the house and got that horriblely strange glare, I should have known it then. I am too smart, too normal, not enough of that material to fit in. It is too easy to blame friends. I know this type of weakness comes from within. I knew from the very beginning that someone had to go wrong, there had to be some problem. I said, "maybe he has a girlfriend" Melissa said "the problem is, he is not on facebook". I should have known then. Stopped it all then. I blame myself.