poetry in motion frustations
Sometimes I am annoyed by the fact that you are only allowed to use 20 words or word fragments (such as "ed" or "ly" with which to transform a word into a past tense or some such thing. I don't think those should count!)
This is the original version I wrote tonight.
Soft morning light
Glows from the east
the Air speaks
echoing on stones and streams
arms stretched wide in supplication
and I am newly pardoned
And this is the version I was forced to submit:
Soft morning light
Glows from the east
the Air speaks
and I am newly pardoned
Sometimes, the word limitation allows me to create better poem fragments. I have a tendency to ramble and to add unnecessary lines. Therefore some of my submissions are better for having been edited to eliminate extraneous words or verses. However sometimes I like the original better. What do you all think? I won't be offended no matter which version you prefer. I don't take these creations too seriously; they're more for mental exercise, to keep that creative vibe going so that I don't lose it entirely. When one lives a lifestyle of diaper changes, messy babyfood feedings, playing inane games over and over and rocking a little one to sleep, the practical takes presidence. Not to mention that I've got to make the bed every morning, tidy up, do the laundry, pick up after my careless husband and attempt to take care of myself: mild exercise, eating well, taking prenatal vitamins and doctor visits every week (if it's not one thing it's another; weekly therapy sessions, weekly couple's therapy sessions, orthopedic visits to this incompetent doctor who can't seem to fix the pain in my right wrist despite an (expensive) brace, 3 cortisone shots, and more painkillers than I care to think about; trips to the neurologist to find out why I have migraines...EEGs and MRIs were not helpful, and constant back pain. Plus I'm developing a cold or flu or some such thing. Healthy I am not, despite my efforts to eat well and exercise.)
Well, that was an example of me rambling. I'm going to beg my husband for a massage, lie down with some hot tea and take some Xanax so that I can perhaps achieve some sleep so that I can wake ast 7:30 am to give the little darling her morning bottle. Good night, all.
This is the original version I wrote tonight.
Soft morning light
Glows from the east
the Air speaks
echoing on stones and streams
arms stretched wide in supplication
and I am newly pardoned
And this is the version I was forced to submit:
Soft morning light
Glows from the east
the Air speaks
and I am newly pardoned
Sometimes, the word limitation allows me to create better poem fragments. I have a tendency to ramble and to add unnecessary lines. Therefore some of my submissions are better for having been edited to eliminate extraneous words or verses. However sometimes I like the original better. What do you all think? I won't be offended no matter which version you prefer. I don't take these creations too seriously; they're more for mental exercise, to keep that creative vibe going so that I don't lose it entirely. When one lives a lifestyle of diaper changes, messy babyfood feedings, playing inane games over and over and rocking a little one to sleep, the practical takes presidence. Not to mention that I've got to make the bed every morning, tidy up, do the laundry, pick up after my careless husband and attempt to take care of myself: mild exercise, eating well, taking prenatal vitamins and doctor visits every week (if it's not one thing it's another; weekly therapy sessions, weekly couple's therapy sessions, orthopedic visits to this incompetent doctor who can't seem to fix the pain in my right wrist despite an (expensive) brace, 3 cortisone shots, and more painkillers than I care to think about; trips to the neurologist to find out why I have migraines...EEGs and MRIs were not helpful, and constant back pain. Plus I'm developing a cold or flu or some such thing. Healthy I am not, despite my efforts to eat well and exercise.)
Well, that was an example of me rambling. I'm going to beg my husband for a massage, lie down with some hot tea and take some Xanax so that I can perhaps achieve some sleep so that I can wake ast 7:30 am to give the little darling her morning bottle. Good night, all.