You have gotten entirely too skilled at this updating business. I am not happy with it. That is, I am ecstatic (may it carry over to E2 fics!) but it poses a problem when I can't comment fast enough. Let's hope this catching up proves good enough to keep me up from now on.
I really like the opening sequence of each chapter. It really gives lots of good background information on the world, and also on the characters in it and how they feel. It's an info dump, but a classy and well done one. The idea of Daneel as a female alpha was especially nice, as were the Planned Packhood letters.
Jade's mind is a fascintaing place, yet also highly disturbing. It seems she's taken all her agression and anger at being n omega and turned it outwards, onto alphas. So when there finally comes an alpha she's attracted to, all she can really think of is that she has to dominate that alpha, to turn the tables on her, to be the only one to own her and control her. This is exactly why I think their relationship is currently very unhealthy, and will remain so as long as Jade is in this mindset, which will probably not change any time soon due to her father and societal mores.
Tori's father was brilliant throughout. I love how enthusiastic he's being about his daughter getting to be an alpha, it's very cute.You write Wikipedia fantastically well, as well as Tori's (and most teenagers) reaction to it. Have you considered doing an A/B/O wiki?
Okay, that was seriously disturbing. Tori acts... well, perfect, really. She remains in control. She doesn't kiss Jade. Jade is the one who lost control. And Jade's comment... that suggests to me her psychosis is far worse. Now she also no doubt hates herself for losing control and being an Omega. But again, she's channeling it outwards, hating Tori for being an alpha yet not being one. This is going nowhere good.
Cat is also incredible fun. I like how she constantly makes me laugh. "You're making her do drugs!" Indeed.
I like Tori's parents. It seems nothing bad has come out of them keeping the truth away for a bit. In fact, I think it may have made for a better relationship. It made Tori consider being friends with her in the first place, and respect her even without knowing she was such an aggressive omega. I still don't think it can go anywhere good if Jade doesn't get her act together... but yeah, if she does, they might have a good basis for a relationship.
I really like the opening sequence of each chapter. It really gives lots of good background information on the world, and also on the characters in it and how they feel. It's an info dump, but a classy and well done one. The idea of Daneel as a female alpha was especially nice, as were the Planned Packhood letters.
Jade's mind is a fascintaing place, yet also highly disturbing. It seems she's taken all her agression and anger at being n omega and turned it outwards, onto alphas. So when there finally comes an alpha she's attracted to, all she can really think of is that she has to dominate that alpha, to turn the tables on her, to be the only one to own her and control her. This is exactly why I think their relationship is currently very unhealthy, and will remain so as long as Jade is in this mindset, which will probably not change any time soon due to her father and societal mores.
Tori's father was brilliant throughout. I love how enthusiastic he's being about his daughter getting to be an alpha, it's very cute.You write Wikipedia fantastically well, as well as Tori's (and most teenagers) reaction to it. Have you considered doing an A/B/O wiki?
Okay, that was seriously disturbing. Tori acts... well, perfect, really. She remains in control. She doesn't kiss Jade. Jade is the one who lost control. And Jade's comment... that suggests to me her psychosis is far worse. Now she also no doubt hates herself for losing control and being an Omega. But again, she's channeling it outwards, hating Tori for being an alpha yet not being one. This is going nowhere good.
Cat is also incredible fun. I like how she constantly makes me laugh. "You're making her do drugs!" Indeed.
I like Tori's parents. It seems nothing bad has come out of them keeping the truth away for a bit. In fact, I think it may have made for a better relationship. It made Tori consider being friends with her in the first place, and respect her even without knowing she was such an aggressive omega. I still don't think it can go anywhere good if Jade doesn't get her act together... but yeah, if she does, they might have a good basis for a relationship.
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