Danny Zuko 20: Uh, Oh Those Summer Nights
Title: Danny Zuko was a Hot Chick (part 20 of 20)
Author: Alsike
Fandom: X-Men/Criminal Minds x-over
Pairing: Emma Frost/Emily Prentiss
Rating: NC-17
AN/Disclaimer: Not my girls.
Word Count: 2546
Citrus Taste Summer Battle Prompt # 17. Dirty Dancing
Apologies: Hahahahaha!!!! I have dominated this table! It is OVER! (This is such a lie. I have timestamps, and letters, and errata) But the summer is over. ;_; (And I really need to pack for grad school!) Thank you everyone who's been reading this and commenting! Your comments make my life worthwhile!
The last night of the conference, the program hosted another big party. They hired a band, and the whole hotel was bedecked in decorations. There was an open bar, but after Adrienne’s birthday, everyone was a little more wary about free alcohol.
“You can’t stay over tonight?” Emma asked, sitting on the edge of a lawn chair on the roof. The stars were out, but they were dimmed by the brightness of the lanterns hanging around the pool where the sound of conference-goers talking and laughing nearly drowned out the band.
“Eight o’clock flight. Mom will want to be there by six, for check in, and that means she’ll drag me out of bed around four.”
“Doesn’t sound like it’s worth going to sleep.”
Emily glanced at her. “No, it’s really not.”
Emma flashed her a tight smile. “You looking forward to seeing your boyfriends again.”
Emma snorted. Not her boyfriends. “A bit.”
“Look,” Emma sounded serious and Emily looked over, wishing the light was better so she could see her face. “I know I was a bit of a freak about that. I’m not- I mean, I’m really not intending on making you feel guilty about anything. You have your own life, and it doesn’t really involve me. So you need to do whatever you need to do.”
Emily stared at her and tried to parse that. It was a lost cause. “What?”
Emma scowled. “This is over.”
Emily tensed.
“This is over tonight. You go home tomorrow morning, and we’re leaving in the afternoon. It was just for the summer, and no matter how much we’ve pretended that we’re like Sandy and Danny, we’re not going to miraculously end up going to the same school, and there isn’t any motorcycling off into the sunset. And I just want you to know that I know that, and I’m not going to get angry or jealous if you… find someone else, or just fuck one of your boyfriends because you’re bored.”
Emily cringed at the thought. Last year, she considered, if either one had asked, she probably would have done it in a heartbeat. She had wanted so desperately to be acknowledged as a girl, not just as one of the guys, and if someone had told her she was pretty… She had been just like Emma at the beginning of the summer, so desperate for validation, that it really wasn’t funny. “You’re gorgeous, you know,” she said. Emma turned and looked at her with an expression that suggested she had grown a second head. “I just don’t know if I told you that enough, not half the times I thought it. And you’re always telling me that I’m prettier than I think I am, and more desirable than I think I am, and I really do believe it now.” She smiled. “You’ve given me a lot of positive reinforcement. But you should know that I’m always attracted to you. And you’re not an awful person, and if I could spend time with anyone, I’d spend time with you. This might be over, but… even if summer girlfriends ends with the summer, you’re still my friend. You’ll always be my friend.”
“That doesn’t mean anything,” Emma muttered, looking away.
“Yes it does!” Emily snapped at her. “Just because you’ve never had a friend before doesn’t mean you can disregard this!”
“I’m not disregarding you! I-“ She stopped, cutting her words off, and flashed Emily a deeply hurt glare. “I’m just selfish. And I only know how to hold onto myself. I’m not stupid, or blind, and I don’t trust people. And once you’re gone, you’re gone. I can’t keep you. I can’t put a leash on you, or know what you’re thinking, or what you’re doing, and people lie. It’s so easy to lie. And it’s… easier to just let go than to wonder if they’re just faking it.”
“Well,” Emily managed, trying to not sound as awful as she felt. She was going to say this flat out, because if she didn’t, she’d cry. “If you just let this go, and never write, and pretend it didn’t happen, it would hurt me. I’d understand, consciously, but unconsciously it would make me feel like I never mattered to you. And even if it turns into polite lies, which it won’t, because I wouldn’t lie to you, it still means that once I was important enough to be worth remembering. And… that’s all I have with a lot of my friends. I don’t know them anymore. I haven’t seen some of them for years, not since elementary school. But whenever I get a letter, it makes me feel like I’m not a ghost, just moving through places unseen. I’m a real person, and I made enough of an impression for someone to remember me. And that’s enough for me. Sometimes you need someone else to remind you that you exist.”
Emma looked away swiftly. “You’re fucked-up,” she said, and it would have hurt, but her voice was thick and she wouldn’t look back. She pressed her hands to her face instead.
“Maybe.”
“Don’t agree with me!”
Emily laughed. She couldn’t help it. The tears in Emma’s eyes sparkled in the lamplight, and it was transfixing. She reached out and caught her hands. “Hey.”
“Don’t-“ Emma struggled, but she kept a hold of her hands and wouldn’t let her go.
“You can trust me.”
“No, I can’t!” Emma ripped her hands away. “And I don’t want to! I don’t want to bind you like that. I don’t want to demand that you be trustworthy, and I don’t want to need to rely on someone else! I’m not going to be the weak one here!”
“No one is saying that you’re weak!”
“I want you to do whatever the fuck you want! I want you to grow up, and meet people, and do something you love, and get married, and I want you to never think about me again!”
“What?” Emily swallowed hard, unsure, and feeling like she’d been punched in the stomach.
“And if you still remember me, after all of that, after you’re an adult, with a life, and free. Then I’ll trust you. Then I will let myself need you. But not until then.”
“How long is that?” Emily asked weakly. “How long do I have to wait?”
“Don’t wait! Do you even hear a single word that’s coming out of my mouth?”
“I’m not just going to forget about you! I’m not going to cut off all contact and pretend I don’t know you!”
Emma looked away. “I’ll be your friend. Even if you decide you’ve had enough of me, and I make you sick, I’ll always be your friend. Like you said, because you mattered to me once.”
Emily looked at her. “So you mean-“ Emma cut her short with a harsh glare. So they couldn’t say it. That was okay. She understood why she wouldn’t want to say it. Sometimes the world was like that, where if you gave it voice, it would slip away, and that one chance you had to make it real would fade as if it had never existed. “Okay. I won’t wait. And you shouldn’t either. If you’re giving me a chance, you need to have the same one, or it’s not fair.”
“Sure,” Emma muttered. Emily didn’t believe a word out of her mouth when she had that tone of voice.
“Whatever.” She shook her head. She reached out and slid her hand into Emma’s. “Doesn’t start until after tomorrow anyways.”
“After tomorrow?”
Emily stood and tugged Emma up after her. “It’s almost midnight, and I’m not planning on running away when the clock strikes twelve.” Emma smiled at her, almost shyly, and Emily tugged her closer and looped her arms around her waist. Because maybe this really was it, and this was the last time they’d be together and feel like this. The lazy ballad rose up over the chatter from the band, and Emma stepped into her, curling one hand around her shoulder, and resting the other against the back of her neck.
Her body was slim and childish under the soft cotton of her dress, and Emily let her hands rest on her hips as they moved slowly to the song. It was kind of awful to see her this way, young and resigned, her eyes wet when she looked up, and Emily was the one who had made her cry. It was only supposed to be a game when they had started it. Emily hadn’t meant to care, and Emma had seemed tough enough to deal with anything. Few things were like they seemed in the beginning.
But they were close enough that the cool night stayed distant, and Emily tightened her grip and leaned in, pressing a kiss against her hair right behind her ear. And she wasn’t about to let go quite yet.
* * *
Summer dreams, ripped at the seams, but oh, those summer nights.
* * *
Somehow Emma had managed to wrangle all four of the Frost kids down into the lobby at five in the morning. Cordelia gave Emily a groggy hug and nearly fell asleep again leaning against her waist. Adrienne looked like she hadn’t gone to bed yet and gave her a dismissive wave before disappearing. Christian gave her a hug.
“It was awesome hanging out with you.” Then he went and shook hands with her mother.
Emma was standing stiffly, looking a bit petulant, and clearly tired. She hadn’t been to bed yet either. She didn’t make a move, and Emily didn’t either.
“Cab’s outside,” said the porter with the luggage.
Emma walked up to her, straight and tall with almost no expression on her face. And then she kissed her, not light, or deep, or show-offy, just a kiss. And Emily kissed back, in the same way. Emma tangled their fingers together, just for a moment. “Bye,” she said, and turned and walked away.
Emily made a little sound in her chest that might have been supposed to be a return farewell, but didn’t really manage anything coherent. She followed her mother out to the cab. She didn’t let her mother see her face all the way to the airport.
At check-in Elizabeth got a good look at her and sighed. “Oh, Emily.” She found a clean handkerchief and gave it to her. “Cold water,” she instructed. “It will make you feel better.” She shook her head. “Honestly, the stewardesses are going to think I beat you.”
* * *
“Roomie!” Daniela crowed and Emily’s suitcase was knocked out of her hand as she was hugged. “You’re back early! You didn’t fucking write me once! How was California? Was it awesome? Elba rocked. I met this Australian girl and her friends in the airport going there, and she went down on me in the bathroom, and her surfer boy cousin, he was really hot, and we all got plastered and… well.” She grinned. “It was awesome.” She gave Emily a sly grin and dragged her into the room, closing the door. “And did you see the new guy who moved in down the hall? Mike or Michael or something. But British, and eyeliner. He’s fucking smoking. And you.” Daniela suddenly looked surprised. “You got laid.”
Emily gaped. She could tell?
“Did that douchy friend of yours, John, or whatever, seal the deal? He’s been slavering after you for like years.”
“Uh,” Emily grinned. “He asked.” It had been kind of more than just asking. There had been bad lines, pleading, ‘but we’re friends and we should help each other out, for both of our sakes.’ When she had told him that she didn’t actually need deflowering anymore there had been indignation, and insults, and then more pleading. It had been kind of pathetic. “But I didn’t want him, and I don’t need to do people favors to get them to like me.”
Daniela blinked. “Haven’t I told you that like forty-seven times? Seriously. And, not Matt?”
Emily laughed. “Haha, no. Although I’m apparently not allowed to see him anymore. That’s why I’m a couple days early. Matt’s parents caught him kissing a boy, flipped out and decided that I, being spawn of the devil, had turned him gay. Which I totally did not! Don’t you have to at least make out with someone to turn them gay? My mom decided it would be expedient for me to leave town early.”
Daniela waved her hand dismissively. “He was always gay.”
“Exactly. I just convinced him to give being gay a chance.”
Daniela stared at her, then covered her face. “You totally turned him gay. You’re worse than me.”
Emily grinned. “Maybe.” She slung her suitcase up onto her bed. “I showed him the road to the right side.”
Daniela hoisted herself up onto the desk, crossing her ankles demurely. “Aha. That’s why I have two strikes against me. You met a girl.” She shook her head. “I really hope she wasn’t nice.”
Emily snorted and started making piles of clothing on her bed.
“You’re not going to tell me?” Daniela gave a sigh of despair. “She must have been nice. Vanilla too probably. Oh, you got some mail.”
Emily glanced up. “Really?”
“Yeah, from Massachusetts or somewhere vile.” She picked an envelope up off her desk and tossed it to her. It was heavy, and Emily tensed as she looked at the handwriting on the direction. She opened it. A stack of pictures fell out along with a short letter written on lined notebook paper.
“So,” it started. “You probably had a great time with your boyfriends in Rome, and now you’re back with your psycho roommate, having a good time there too. Whatever. The Northeast fucking sucks. I have read more books in the past month than any human should.
Riding is just not the same without you and your imaginary snakes. Adrienne had her real birthday party and the police came, not that this was in anyway unexpected. Dad dragged Cordelia to the salon to get her hair dyed back to some normal color before school starts. They couldn’t get the color covered up entirely though, so it’s black now, which she thinks is awesome. And he’s forcing me to join the tennis team, which makes me want to die.
Christian’s boytoy sent him the pictures people took at Addy’s first party, and told me to send some to you. They are appropriately full of debauchery. I burned the ones of Addy molesting you with her tongue, because I don’t need to remember that shit (except for the one where you can see the dead snake creeping down your cleavage because it is too funny for words.)
School starts in two weeks and my life is boring and celibate.
Not missing you at all,
Emma”
Daniela had slid off the desk and come over to Emily’s bed, and was staring fixedly at her pile of underclothes. “Emz,” she said as if she were thinking deep thoughts. “When did you get all new underwear?”
Emily laughed and handed her the stack of photos. “You’re right, I met a girl. But, don’t worry, there’s nothing about her that you could call nice.”
FIN