Good Advice
Title: Good Advice
Author: Alsike
Fandom: X-Men/Criminal Minds x-over
Pairing: Emma Frost/Emily Prentiss, JJ/ um... mainly Will, sort of
Rating: PG-15 (I find it really difficult to rate discussions of sex toys)
AN/Disclaimer: Not my girls.
Word Count:
Prompt: 020. Vibrator
Apologies: And, on a lighter note: Lets torture JJ #3!
It was their third weekend out of town in a row. The case was nearly wrapped up, the UNSUB in custody, just a few loose ends to sort out and a good pile of paperwork that was luring no one toward the office.
The boys were having a pool table death-match, Rossi having bullied Hotch into forming a team with him, and utterly destroying Morgan’s bluster and Reid’s mathematical equations. Emily, JJ and Garcia (who had been allowed to come along because of a dump of locked hard-drives the local police had found) had claimed a table in the hotel bar and were supposed to be having a good time. But JJ was gloomily eyeing her vodka and cherry coke to such an extent that Garcia broke off in the middle of an almost Reid-like exegesis of the type of algorithms used to protect the unsub’s incriminating files and asked her what was wrong.
“Jayj, why so glum? You didn’t push to head back tonight, so I thought you wanted to hang out.”
JJ shrugged. “I dunno. It just felt like there wasn’t any point in getting back.”
Emily leaned forward onto her hand. “We’ve been gone a lot. Your boys aren’t missing you?”
JJ groaned and hung her head.
Garcia pursed her lips. “Baby girl, is your boy-toy not putting out?”
JJ’s fist hit the table, causing their glasses to jump. “How do you do it?” She glared at Emily. “You never see her! Will’s only been on nights for a month, and I’m already…” her hands tightened and shook. “I have needs.” She pouted. “I feel like I saw him more often when I had to fly to Louisiana!”
Emily’s gaze slipped and met Garcia’s smirk.
“I’m beginning to understand why our baby girl got into her little predicament in the first place.”
Emily snickered and JJ glared at her. “Oh come on. You’ve got to have a decent sex-drive to keep up with your whore of a girlfriend. What do you do when she’s… in space, or wherever the fuck she is this week?”
Bolstered by Garcia’s grin and hard liquor, Emily wiggled the fingers of her left hand.
“You had to ask, Jayj baby?” inquired Garcia.
JJ flushed. “That’s… enough?
Emily and Garcia exchanged a glance.
“Usually,” Emily said hesitantly. “It’s just getting off. You don’t need to make a production out of it.”
“And if it’s not,” added Garcia. “You get to bring some of your pretty friends out to play.”
If it were possible JJ turned even redder.
“I think our dear friend is not well versed in the art of self-pleasure.”
Emily glanced over to the pool table. The boys were still happily occupied. This was good. If Morgan caught wind of this conversation, they would never get rid of him. She turned back to JJ. “But- how? You admitted that you have a pretty high sex-drive. How did you survive high school? College? Life?”
“I had boyfriends. I had a steady all through senior year, when my reputation was important. But once I was in college I had a new boy every three months, and if I didn’t or he wasn’t available I could go out to a party and pick someone up. It was college; it wasn’t hard.”
Emily gaped at her.
“Oh, the curse of being beautiful,” Garcia commented.
“And you don’t have any incurable STDs?”
“Emily!”
“You call Emma a whore?”
“She admitted as much! She said she took her clothes off for money!”
“She was a stripper! Not the same thing!”
“Oh, totally not that different!”
“She didn’t just fuck anyone who made eyes at her in a bar!”
“I didn’t have to wait for them to look at me! If I wanted them, they would go home with me! They still would!”
“Girls, girls,” Garcia interjected. “If you don’t want company, cool it down.”
The boys were looking over curiously. Emily bit down on her response. JJ ducked her head.
“It wasn’t like that after college, anyways. That’s why I had to eff-ing fly to Louisiana to get some. But it was always on my schedule. I’m not sure if this monogamy thing is going to work out for me.”
Emily gave her a look. “You want to cheat on him?”
“No!” JJ glared at her. “But if our schedules don’t intersect soon, I am going to be really really unhappy.”
“Jayj, vibrators were invented for women like you,” said Garcia, shaking her head as if shocked that she hadn’t worked it out before.
JJ cringed.
Emily nodded slowly. “You haven’t tried them?”
JJ shook her head.
Emily glanced over at Garcia who nodded emphatically. “It’s worth a shot.”
“It’s perfect,” said Garcia, hearing no argument. “Sex toys save relationships. And they’re much more convenient than hooking up. You’re going on a trip? Just throw it in your bag. No need to go out, no messy clean up.”
“No risk of unplanned pregnancies,” Emily muttered. JJ glared at her again.
“Fuck you, Emily.”
“I don’t hear you rushing home to be with your son,” Emily snapped back.
“Yeah,” JJ grimaced. “My mom’s looking after him. If I rush home I have to deal with her interrogation about why we haven’t started thinking about giving Henry a little brother or sister. ‘If they’re more than four years apart, they won’t be close,’” she imitated her mother. “Somehow she forgot that I don’t even speak to my sister who’s the closest in age to me.”
Both Emily and Garcia were quiet. JJ bit her lip. She still wasn’t used to being the only one with surviving parents at the table.
* * *
An unexpected lull in the day had JJ with nothing to do. She opened her Internet browser and started checking her email.
Will was going to be working tonight again, she remembered. Maybe if she went home right after work… but her mother was still there. It would be awkward. She would know. She always knew that sort of thing.
Absently she typed a search word into Google and clicked on the first link.
Her jaw dropped.
No way, just no way. She minimized the window and tried to look busy.
The boring paperwork she had left wasn’t distracting her, so she glanced back to the screen and opened the window again. And she stared. She wasn’t going to get one (some of them were expensive) but what would it hurt to look? She wasn’t embarrassed about liking sex. This was just… a different part of the same area.
She squirmed slightly in her chair. Okay, the basic ones were pretty boring, but these… She bit her lip. If she got one that was bigger than Will, would that be more like cheating than one that was a different shape? She winced, ‘if she got one?’ She wasn’t totally sure she could bring herself to order one, even online. What if the postman…
“Thinking of taking our advice?” Emily was standing in the doorway to her office, and grinning at her.
“How-“ JJ gaped. “How did you even-“
“You should see your face.”
JJ knew she had turned bright red. Emily sidled over to her desk and glanced at the computer screen. She nodded.
“Having a look round?”
“Um, yeah.” JJ inched away from her. It was probably unfair, but she had felt a lot more comfortable around Emily before she had been smacked in the face by her sex life.
“Here.” Emily set a cardboard box on her desk, packed with brown paper tape. JJ stared at it in something akin to horror. “I’m sorry for calling you a whore.”
“It’s all right,” JJ replied weakly. “I think I did it first.”
Emily headed towards the door. She stopped on the threshold and glanced back, cocking her head. “Try it,” she said with a grin. “Garcia and I are expecting full coverage.”
Author: Alsike
Fandom: X-Men/Criminal Minds x-over
Pairing: Emma Frost/Emily Prentiss, JJ/ um... mainly Will, sort of
Rating: PG-15 (I find it really difficult to rate discussions of sex toys)
AN/Disclaimer: Not my girls.
Word Count:
Prompt: 020. Vibrator
Apologies: And, on a lighter note: Lets torture JJ #3!
It was their third weekend out of town in a row. The case was nearly wrapped up, the UNSUB in custody, just a few loose ends to sort out and a good pile of paperwork that was luring no one toward the office.
The boys were having a pool table death-match, Rossi having bullied Hotch into forming a team with him, and utterly destroying Morgan’s bluster and Reid’s mathematical equations. Emily, JJ and Garcia (who had been allowed to come along because of a dump of locked hard-drives the local police had found) had claimed a table in the hotel bar and were supposed to be having a good time. But JJ was gloomily eyeing her vodka and cherry coke to such an extent that Garcia broke off in the middle of an almost Reid-like exegesis of the type of algorithms used to protect the unsub’s incriminating files and asked her what was wrong.
“Jayj, why so glum? You didn’t push to head back tonight, so I thought you wanted to hang out.”
JJ shrugged. “I dunno. It just felt like there wasn’t any point in getting back.”
Emily leaned forward onto her hand. “We’ve been gone a lot. Your boys aren’t missing you?”
JJ groaned and hung her head.
Garcia pursed her lips. “Baby girl, is your boy-toy not putting out?”
JJ’s fist hit the table, causing their glasses to jump. “How do you do it?” She glared at Emily. “You never see her! Will’s only been on nights for a month, and I’m already…” her hands tightened and shook. “I have needs.” She pouted. “I feel like I saw him more often when I had to fly to Louisiana!”
Emily’s gaze slipped and met Garcia’s smirk.
“I’m beginning to understand why our baby girl got into her little predicament in the first place.”
Emily snickered and JJ glared at her. “Oh come on. You’ve got to have a decent sex-drive to keep up with your whore of a girlfriend. What do you do when she’s… in space, or wherever the fuck she is this week?”
Bolstered by Garcia’s grin and hard liquor, Emily wiggled the fingers of her left hand.
“You had to ask, Jayj baby?” inquired Garcia.
JJ flushed. “That’s… enough?
Emily and Garcia exchanged a glance.
“Usually,” Emily said hesitantly. “It’s just getting off. You don’t need to make a production out of it.”
“And if it’s not,” added Garcia. “You get to bring some of your pretty friends out to play.”
If it were possible JJ turned even redder.
“I think our dear friend is not well versed in the art of self-pleasure.”
Emily glanced over to the pool table. The boys were still happily occupied. This was good. If Morgan caught wind of this conversation, they would never get rid of him. She turned back to JJ. “But- how? You admitted that you have a pretty high sex-drive. How did you survive high school? College? Life?”
“I had boyfriends. I had a steady all through senior year, when my reputation was important. But once I was in college I had a new boy every three months, and if I didn’t or he wasn’t available I could go out to a party and pick someone up. It was college; it wasn’t hard.”
Emily gaped at her.
“Oh, the curse of being beautiful,” Garcia commented.
“And you don’t have any incurable STDs?”
“Emily!”
“You call Emma a whore?”
“She admitted as much! She said she took her clothes off for money!”
“She was a stripper! Not the same thing!”
“Oh, totally not that different!”
“She didn’t just fuck anyone who made eyes at her in a bar!”
“I didn’t have to wait for them to look at me! If I wanted them, they would go home with me! They still would!”
“Girls, girls,” Garcia interjected. “If you don’t want company, cool it down.”
The boys were looking over curiously. Emily bit down on her response. JJ ducked her head.
“It wasn’t like that after college, anyways. That’s why I had to eff-ing fly to Louisiana to get some. But it was always on my schedule. I’m not sure if this monogamy thing is going to work out for me.”
Emily gave her a look. “You want to cheat on him?”
“No!” JJ glared at her. “But if our schedules don’t intersect soon, I am going to be really really unhappy.”
“Jayj, vibrators were invented for women like you,” said Garcia, shaking her head as if shocked that she hadn’t worked it out before.
JJ cringed.
Emily nodded slowly. “You haven’t tried them?”
JJ shook her head.
Emily glanced over at Garcia who nodded emphatically. “It’s worth a shot.”
“It’s perfect,” said Garcia, hearing no argument. “Sex toys save relationships. And they’re much more convenient than hooking up. You’re going on a trip? Just throw it in your bag. No need to go out, no messy clean up.”
“No risk of unplanned pregnancies,” Emily muttered. JJ glared at her again.
“Fuck you, Emily.”
“I don’t hear you rushing home to be with your son,” Emily snapped back.
“Yeah,” JJ grimaced. “My mom’s looking after him. If I rush home I have to deal with her interrogation about why we haven’t started thinking about giving Henry a little brother or sister. ‘If they’re more than four years apart, they won’t be close,’” she imitated her mother. “Somehow she forgot that I don’t even speak to my sister who’s the closest in age to me.”
Both Emily and Garcia were quiet. JJ bit her lip. She still wasn’t used to being the only one with surviving parents at the table.
* * *
An unexpected lull in the day had JJ with nothing to do. She opened her Internet browser and started checking her email.
Will was going to be working tonight again, she remembered. Maybe if she went home right after work… but her mother was still there. It would be awkward. She would know. She always knew that sort of thing.
Absently she typed a search word into Google and clicked on the first link.
Her jaw dropped.
No way, just no way. She minimized the window and tried to look busy.
The boring paperwork she had left wasn’t distracting her, so she glanced back to the screen and opened the window again. And she stared. She wasn’t going to get one (some of them were expensive) but what would it hurt to look? She wasn’t embarrassed about liking sex. This was just… a different part of the same area.
She squirmed slightly in her chair. Okay, the basic ones were pretty boring, but these… She bit her lip. If she got one that was bigger than Will, would that be more like cheating than one that was a different shape? She winced, ‘if she got one?’ She wasn’t totally sure she could bring herself to order one, even online. What if the postman…
“Thinking of taking our advice?” Emily was standing in the doorway to her office, and grinning at her.
“How-“ JJ gaped. “How did you even-“
“You should see your face.”
JJ knew she had turned bright red. Emily sidled over to her desk and glanced at the computer screen. She nodded.
“Having a look round?”
“Um, yeah.” JJ inched away from her. It was probably unfair, but she had felt a lot more comfortable around Emily before she had been smacked in the face by her sex life.
“Here.” Emily set a cardboard box on her desk, packed with brown paper tape. JJ stared at it in something akin to horror. “I’m sorry for calling you a whore.”
“It’s all right,” JJ replied weakly. “I think I did it first.”
Emily headed towards the door. She stopped on the threshold and glanced back, cocking her head. “Try it,” she said with a grin. “Garcia and I are expecting full coverage.”