Hellfire Ficmix
No More 3 AM Phonecalls [EP]
A (Depressing) Mix for Hellfire
“All Hail the Heartbreaker” - The Spill Canvas
So tonight I'll sit and pick apart your pictures
And overanalyze your words
But the truth is that I've never fallen so hard
It's taken everything in me
Just to forget your sweater so far
The phone was where they pretended they were friends, where they could flirt without consequence, where nothing meaningful was said, because the meaning was trapped in the act of dialing the phone, and anything else would be a surfeit.
“Just Like Mr. Benn” - Bell X1
I don't speak in all your tongues
So I don't even know if I'll be welcome
But what if I appeared as if by magic?
Just like in Mr Benn
“What are you looking for in there? Are you looking for an excuse, or evidence? Because even though you can understand why someone would kill their sister, you’re a profiler, you can understand someone who rapes children. It doesn’t mean you forgive them.”
“Disloyal Order Of Water Buffaloes” - Fall Out Boy
I'm a loose bolt of a complete machine
What a match:
I'm half doomed and you're semi-sweet
Boycott love
She found her phone in her hand her thumb hovering over send, her mind getting ready to beg, trying to work out which words would fix this, (would fix everything). (Sometimes she wondered how hard it would be to just make her forget. Why did she have to know all those things? Why was she even bothering with letting Emily do all those idiotic things that she called her career? She could just fix it, fix her. It would be so easy.)
“Alexithymia” - Anberlin
Don't try to wake me up
Even if the sun really does come out tomorrow
Don't believe anything you say
Anymore, in the morn, in the morning
“Sometimes it feels like he was the only one who ever really loved me. And he was the one I belonged with, because we weren’t everything to each other. We were just enough. But I’m not enough for anyone else.”
“Sleeping With Ghosts” - Placebo
These clouds we're seeing
They're explosions in the sky
It seems it's written
But we can't read between the lines
She had known it for a long time, but at the funeral it had really come through to her. Emma wouldn’t let her sulk in the corner. She wouldn’t let her think she was more out of place than everyone else. She had teased her and pushed her, and with the hollow absence of her mother so visible, Emily had needed something to fill it.
“Emu ~For My Dear~” - Gackt
dore dake no omoide mo yume no you na maboroshi de
itsumademo kawaru koto no nai tojikomerareta kimi ga iru
ima mo hitomi o mitsumeteta
nanimo kawarazu ni
~
They're not forever changing, so how many phantoms,
Like memories and dreams, could you file away
And now I’m still gazing into your eyes
Unable to change anything.
~
Checking into her hotel felt odd, and she hated that it felt odd to her to get a hotel in DC. It had been months since she had stayed there, months since the last time she had wandered around that apartment as if it were her own. She was used to hotels, penthouses and formality. She couldn’t have gotten unaccustomed to them so quickly.
“Our Lady Of Sorrows” - My Chemical Romance
We could be perfect one last night
And die like star-crossed lovers when we fight
And we can settle this affair
Emma slipped her arms around her and stroked her hair. Emily leaned into her without hesitation. “I’m a bad person,” she said softly. “I do bad things. I have bad thoughts… about you.” And there were so many of them, all different kinds, too many dark fantasies where she held her down, wouldn’t let her go, wouldn’t let her pull away, her hand on her throat until she lay still.
Emily blinked up at her, rubbing the tears from her eyes with her fist. “I have bad thoughts about you too.”
Emma smiled and brushed her lips against Emily’s cheek. “You do tell me what I like to hear.”
“Happy Ending” - Mika (clipped version)
2 o'clock in the morning, something's on my mind
Can't get no rest; keep walkin' around
If I pretend that nothin' ever went wrong, I can get to my sleep
I can think that we just carried on
“I can’t make it go away,” she said quietly. “There will always be a time when you were all I had, when all I knew was that you were angry and grieving, just like me. But that’s not enough. I know what you can give me, and I care about you. But we’re always going to be in different places, with different needs. Maybe it would be best to let it go.”
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