life is peachy...ok, that was the biggest LIE ever!!!
My first evening back in San Diego and I made a huge mistake. And now I am suffering the consequences. When I thought things couldn't get any worse, and thought things were looking up for me, something bad happens, and now I'm more miserable than ever.
I pray everyday for the strength to get through all of this, and the patience and understanding I need until things get better for me. So often though I feel like I won't get through it, or that this is how my life is always going to be...like I will never get through to find something good on the other side because it will never end and be good again. And I feel like even if it is going to get better eventually I won't make it through this to experience it...like I won't be able to physically or emotionally make it. This is killing me and I don't know how much more I can take. I thought I was a strong person, but everyday I feel weaker.
Moving on (because I'm going to at least TRY to be strong)...
I'm a little pissed that Janette has a boyfriend and Tasha is kinda seeing someone.. I was looking forward to the three of us going out together as single hotties on the loose! Oh well, good luck with the new men Janette and Tasha! I'm happy for you girls.
On a possitive note, I'm making some money today, gonna have a real job in a week with lots of hours (thank God...cuz I need the money!) And even better, my friend Casey from Tucson is coming to San Diego today. He and his friend are going to go to dinner with me (and Tasha if she's free) and then hang out. I can't wait to see him! I love that guy (in a platonic way, although he is a cutie and a sweetie)! It will be nice to have a friend from Tucson here... weird how when I'm in Tucson having people from here around cheers me up, and it's the other way when I'm here. I guess it's just that I have friends both places and niether can take the place of the others. I miss my Tucson buddies!
Well, back to cleaning my mom's house for some serious cash!
I pray everyday for the strength to get through all of this, and the patience and understanding I need until things get better for me. So often though I feel like I won't get through it, or that this is how my life is always going to be...like I will never get through to find something good on the other side because it will never end and be good again. And I feel like even if it is going to get better eventually I won't make it through this to experience it...like I won't be able to physically or emotionally make it. This is killing me and I don't know how much more I can take. I thought I was a strong person, but everyday I feel weaker.
Moving on (because I'm going to at least TRY to be strong)...
I'm a little pissed that Janette has a boyfriend and Tasha is kinda seeing someone.. I was looking forward to the three of us going out together as single hotties on the loose! Oh well, good luck with the new men Janette and Tasha! I'm happy for you girls.
On a possitive note, I'm making some money today, gonna have a real job in a week with lots of hours (thank God...cuz I need the money!) And even better, my friend Casey from Tucson is coming to San Diego today. He and his friend are going to go to dinner with me (and Tasha if she's free) and then hang out. I can't wait to see him! I love that guy (in a platonic way, although he is a cutie and a sweetie)! It will be nice to have a friend from Tucson here... weird how when I'm in Tucson having people from here around cheers me up, and it's the other way when I'm here. I guess it's just that I have friends both places and niether can take the place of the others. I miss my Tucson buddies!
Well, back to cleaning my mom's house for some serious cash!