sadness
(xposted to myspace)
anyone who knows me knows that I am just kinda hermity.
although.. i wish i wasn't, i wish I wasn't in pain a lot so i could go and hang out with my friends.
i am filled with regret right now because one of my friends that I have not seen since high school was killed in a car accident on thursday. the funeral was last night.
i haven't talked to him since he was in 10th grade, so while i was listening to stories about him, i realized i missed out on so much.. he grew up from this kid to this really cool, awesome person, and i never knew him.
when i went to the funeral i met up with a bunch of people i haven't seen from high school since i graduated.. not for lack of trying, i'd been trying to find everyone for a while.. but everyone came out of the woodwork just recently.
my friend who died, dayton, had just added me on Wednesday and sent me his cell #. I wish I had called.. but i think I didn't get the msg til Friday and then it would have been too late.
just sucks. i dont want to miss out on anyone else's life anymore. i dont want to go to another funeral and recognize faces but not remember names. i dont want to hear the stories and wish i knew them, wish i remembered all the people i knew before..
I know this seems really selfish.. i should be mourning Dayton's death, but instead i'm mourning his life, the life i never knew, the loss of an old friend that from all accounts was a wonderful awesome person..
sorry.
anyone who knows me knows that I am just kinda hermity.
although.. i wish i wasn't, i wish I wasn't in pain a lot so i could go and hang out with my friends.
i am filled with regret right now because one of my friends that I have not seen since high school was killed in a car accident on thursday. the funeral was last night.
i haven't talked to him since he was in 10th grade, so while i was listening to stories about him, i realized i missed out on so much.. he grew up from this kid to this really cool, awesome person, and i never knew him.
when i went to the funeral i met up with a bunch of people i haven't seen from high school since i graduated.. not for lack of trying, i'd been trying to find everyone for a while.. but everyone came out of the woodwork just recently.
my friend who died, dayton, had just added me on Wednesday and sent me his cell #. I wish I had called.. but i think I didn't get the msg til Friday and then it would have been too late.
just sucks. i dont want to miss out on anyone else's life anymore. i dont want to go to another funeral and recognize faces but not remember names. i dont want to hear the stories and wish i knew them, wish i remembered all the people i knew before..
I know this seems really selfish.. i should be mourning Dayton's death, but instead i'm mourning his life, the life i never knew, the loss of an old friend that from all accounts was a wonderful awesome person..
sorry.