(no subject)
Sometimes just the thought of losing someone so dear to me makes me shake and quiver and suddenly stop pretending about situations and see them for what they are. Illusions are easy to maintain for a while. My head hurts. Its hard for me to focus. Work seems beyond my capacity at the moment and letting everything out in dramatic form my only release. And I know this is not a big deal. And I know I could see some kind of implosion coming. And I know this too will pass. But there are tears being held back at the moment. And I'm very tired of all this.