Everyone could use a hug
First of all, watch the video if you're not familiar with the Free Hugs Campaign.
I spent three hours of my day today standing in the sun at Quarry Plaza (central area of UCSC campus), holding a sign saying "Free Hugs", and...hugging people. The first hour, from ten AM to eleven, I was alone. There was a tour group of middle school aged or early high school aged kids that came through - and why shouldn't I offer them hugs, too? So I did. And I got glomped by seven or eight or maybe more of them in a group hug that nearly knocked me down. We were all laughing, and one of the kids kept coming back for another hug, until the group left. One of the kids asked if he could hold my sign and give hugs for a minute or two. The tour moved on, and I was on my own again.
A little later, another girl arrived who'd signed up to be part of it. Her style was rather different from mine - just holding out her arms to people and saying "It's free hugs day". But you know, it seemed more...personable, I guess. More in the spirit of what we were trying to do, to put down the sign and just reach out to people, literally. So I propped the sign up and adopted her approach. The traffic flow through the plaza had increased by later in the morning, and we were hugging a lot of people.
And it was amazing, to see the different ways people responded. You got people who, without reservation or hesitation, came over and gave you a hug. You got people who looked at you funny for a moment, as if deciding, Does she look creepy? and then came over for a hug. You got people who just kind of laughed in an embarressed sort of way and shook their heads, and people who flat-out wouldn't look at you. And then there were the different kinds of huggers. The one-armed huggers. The squeeze-you-so-you-can't-breathe huggers. The quick oh-my-god-I-can't-believe-I'm-hugging-a-stranger huggers. The lingering huggers. Those who talked to you while hugging you. Those who asked why you were doing this. And the reactions were never predictable, who would hug and who would ignore, who would half-hug you then jump back and who would squeeze you.
One girl turned me down at first, then two steps later turned back and said "You know, I really need a hug." So I hugged her, and she told me that she'd had a shitty week, and that this was the nicest thing anyone had done for her all week. That...that hug alone would have made the whole three hours worthwhile, even if I hadn't had a single other hug. Because that's what I wanted to do. I wanted to make people smile. I wanted to give people who needed it some simple, affectionate human contact. I wanted to make people feel that someone CARED. Because you see, when my boyfriend isn't visiting and when I don't go up to my mom's for a few weeks, I get absolutely starved for touch. I'm not normally a very touchy-feely person, unless it's with someone I know *really* well - family, boyfriend, maybe one or two best friends - so when I don't see those people much, I don't really touch anyone. And I have depression, so a lot of the time I'm very withdrawn. I can count so many times in the past years that it would have helped me so much if some person just gave me a hug.
Just before noon, the guy who had organized it all came back from class and rejoined us. So there were three huggers. I hugged staff people and workmen, lots of students both male and female, group-hugged people. By around 12:20, we'd picked up two other huggers, people who wandered by, got hugged, and then asked if they could stay and hug with us. And who are we to turn down more huggers? It was...amazing. Five people, scattered over Quarry Plaza, hugging anyone who wanted one. One of our spur-of-the-moment huggers and I struck up a conversation and had a great time, laughing and joking about the people who pretended not to see us, calling out things like "You can't turn your back on love!" and "Aww, okay. Air hug!"
Overall, it was the most glorious time I've had in a long while. The day was gorgeous - clear and sunny, breezy enough not to be hot, but warm enough that I kicked off my shoes and stood there in bare feet, jeans, and a tank top, and was happy. I swear I near enough broke my face from smiling so much. But how could I help it? First of all, nobody wants to hug someone who's just standing around flat-faced. A smile does so much to make people feel welcome. And secondly...I was just so damn happy I couldn't help it.
And this from a woman who is SO not a people person. My gods, how weird I am. A quasi-medicated, antisocial depressive who tends to be afraid of everyone and everything, who hates being forward and putting herself out there, and who is deadly terrified of rejection...standing in the sunshine holding her arms out to total strangers, calling out to everyone who walked by to come get a hug, and not even being all that bothered by the ones who refused or ignored. AND BEING HAPPY DOING SO.
I may need to make this a regular thing. Not necessarily at Quarry Plaza, maybe downtown, maybe at Lighthouse Point, wherever. Maybe up in Fairfield, or out in Tennessee. Because...the world just needs more hugs.
I spent three hours of my day today standing in the sun at Quarry Plaza (central area of UCSC campus), holding a sign saying "Free Hugs", and...hugging people. The first hour, from ten AM to eleven, I was alone. There was a tour group of middle school aged or early high school aged kids that came through - and why shouldn't I offer them hugs, too? So I did. And I got glomped by seven or eight or maybe more of them in a group hug that nearly knocked me down. We were all laughing, and one of the kids kept coming back for another hug, until the group left. One of the kids asked if he could hold my sign and give hugs for a minute or two. The tour moved on, and I was on my own again.
A little later, another girl arrived who'd signed up to be part of it. Her style was rather different from mine - just holding out her arms to people and saying "It's free hugs day". But you know, it seemed more...personable, I guess. More in the spirit of what we were trying to do, to put down the sign and just reach out to people, literally. So I propped the sign up and adopted her approach. The traffic flow through the plaza had increased by later in the morning, and we were hugging a lot of people.
And it was amazing, to see the different ways people responded. You got people who, without reservation or hesitation, came over and gave you a hug. You got people who looked at you funny for a moment, as if deciding, Does she look creepy? and then came over for a hug. You got people who just kind of laughed in an embarressed sort of way and shook their heads, and people who flat-out wouldn't look at you. And then there were the different kinds of huggers. The one-armed huggers. The squeeze-you-so-you-can't-breathe huggers. The quick oh-my-god-I-can't-believe-I'm-hugging-a-stranger huggers. The lingering huggers. Those who talked to you while hugging you. Those who asked why you were doing this. And the reactions were never predictable, who would hug and who would ignore, who would half-hug you then jump back and who would squeeze you.
One girl turned me down at first, then two steps later turned back and said "You know, I really need a hug." So I hugged her, and she told me that she'd had a shitty week, and that this was the nicest thing anyone had done for her all week. That...that hug alone would have made the whole three hours worthwhile, even if I hadn't had a single other hug. Because that's what I wanted to do. I wanted to make people smile. I wanted to give people who needed it some simple, affectionate human contact. I wanted to make people feel that someone CARED. Because you see, when my boyfriend isn't visiting and when I don't go up to my mom's for a few weeks, I get absolutely starved for touch. I'm not normally a very touchy-feely person, unless it's with someone I know *really* well - family, boyfriend, maybe one or two best friends - so when I don't see those people much, I don't really touch anyone. And I have depression, so a lot of the time I'm very withdrawn. I can count so many times in the past years that it would have helped me so much if some person just gave me a hug.
Just before noon, the guy who had organized it all came back from class and rejoined us. So there were three huggers. I hugged staff people and workmen, lots of students both male and female, group-hugged people. By around 12:20, we'd picked up two other huggers, people who wandered by, got hugged, and then asked if they could stay and hug with us. And who are we to turn down more huggers? It was...amazing. Five people, scattered over Quarry Plaza, hugging anyone who wanted one. One of our spur-of-the-moment huggers and I struck up a conversation and had a great time, laughing and joking about the people who pretended not to see us, calling out things like "You can't turn your back on love!" and "Aww, okay. Air hug!"
Overall, it was the most glorious time I've had in a long while. The day was gorgeous - clear and sunny, breezy enough not to be hot, but warm enough that I kicked off my shoes and stood there in bare feet, jeans, and a tank top, and was happy. I swear I near enough broke my face from smiling so much. But how could I help it? First of all, nobody wants to hug someone who's just standing around flat-faced. A smile does so much to make people feel welcome. And secondly...I was just so damn happy I couldn't help it.
And this from a woman who is SO not a people person. My gods, how weird I am. A quasi-medicated, antisocial depressive who tends to be afraid of everyone and everything, who hates being forward and putting herself out there, and who is deadly terrified of rejection...standing in the sunshine holding her arms out to total strangers, calling out to everyone who walked by to come get a hug, and not even being all that bothered by the ones who refused or ignored. AND BEING HAPPY DOING SO.
I may need to make this a regular thing. Not necessarily at Quarry Plaza, maybe downtown, maybe at Lighthouse Point, wherever. Maybe up in Fairfield, or out in Tennessee. Because...the world just needs more hugs.
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