my fangs are sharp, and my eyes are red, not quite the angel
I talked to my stepfather the other day for maybe longer than I have in years. By accident. I think he was just not paying attention and picked up, but he kept on talking to me... which was weird, since he usually does not when I call. And he asked how I was, and just general questions. I was beginning to think maybe he is dying or something, though that is not the case. According to my mom anyway. Worst thing is, it was not a good enough conversation to warrant me trying to call back when he is home again, though he would probably not answer again. For a while.
Or maybe that is the little part of my mind that is all about self preservation. I am not sure how valid that is though, but it makes sense if I take care of me, because if all else fails I always have that. Though part of me wonders if I let myself miss out on things because I do not want to get far enough for matter if self preservation is an issue, but I am already deep enough that I do not think it does matter. So I do not think it is an issue at all for me. Actually I know it is not.
But I still wonder some times when I end up alone what he thinks, I am pretty sure he is comfy though, and that is all that matters. Maybe I am just thinking too much, I am generally better at talking to who I need to be talking to instead of just figuring it out on my own, though I do not always, because it is hard sometimes. But at least it is something that I have been thinking of.
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Or maybe that is the little part of my mind that is all about self preservation. I am not sure how valid that is though, but it makes sense if I take care of me, because if all else fails I always have that. Though part of me wonders if I let myself miss out on things because I do not want to get far enough for matter if self preservation is an issue, but I am already deep enough that I do not think it does matter. So I do not think it is an issue at all for me. Actually I know it is not.
But I still wonder some times when I end up alone what he thinks, I am pretty sure he is comfy though, and that is all that matters. Maybe I am just thinking too much, I am generally better at talking to who I need to be talking to instead of just figuring it out on my own, though I do not always, because it is hard sometimes. But at least it is something that I have been thinking of.
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