just in case it was not clear I am done here
Toronto ended up being okay. It sorted out a lot about things that got left unsaid and things that had been said and should not have. I am very glad to have gotten to talk to her again and have that time. And her kids are amazing, I am glad she is so happy, despite all my work to try and make things the other way for her for so long. They loved Zeke too, they wanted to keep him, I think. There was a lot of hugging when we left. They hugged me too, not just him.
And then back home.... to Hamilton, maybe things were not so good. Max was out. I thought for a while it was just one extra bit of punishment to go along with what had happened before, and I was okay with that, well okay I was making myself crazy but at least I was talking to Aaron. He did come home eventually, but... well anyway, karma, stuff like that, maybe it really is all I deserve. Maybe he just humoured me all along. Maybe I was an idiot. Maybe he is just too young and not mature enough. Maybe he is better off with who he is with now. Whatever. Maybe a million things. It hardly matters, it is all done. I am not stupid enough for this again with him. I will miss his sister, and miss other things too, but it comes down to the last few days being full of too much childishness and stuff that I do not want and then coming home to what I did come home to, straws, camels, yeah. Really I think it is all summed up enough. Or more than enough.
You know some of you I am going to count as friends and be very glad of that, for a ver long time, some of you I did not really even get to know, and one of you I am sincerly disappointed that I did not get to punch you in the face. I think that pretty much sums up my time here.
I am going to see Aaron for a little while, and then... maybe back to Montreal to pack up and store my stuff, his I will send to his parents. Selling the loft will not be hard at all, and then probably I will head to Finland. Or something. Maybe I am just not going to bother making plans at all anymore for a little while. Though I am keeping Zeke. That much I have planned for sure.
[ disclaimer ]
And then back home.... to Hamilton, maybe things were not so good. Max was out. I thought for a while it was just one extra bit of punishment to go along with what had happened before, and I was okay with that, well okay I was making myself crazy but at least I was talking to Aaron. He did come home eventually, but... well anyway, karma, stuff like that, maybe it really is all I deserve. Maybe he just humoured me all along. Maybe I was an idiot. Maybe he is just too young and not mature enough. Maybe he is better off with who he is with now. Whatever. Maybe a million things. It hardly matters, it is all done. I am not stupid enough for this again with him. I will miss his sister, and miss other things too, but it comes down to the last few days being full of too much childishness and stuff that I do not want and then coming home to what I did come home to, straws, camels, yeah. Really I think it is all summed up enough. Or more than enough.
You know some of you I am going to count as friends and be very glad of that, for a ver long time, some of you I did not really even get to know, and one of you I am sincerly disappointed that I did not get to punch you in the face. I think that pretty much sums up my time here.
I am going to see Aaron for a little while, and then... maybe back to Montreal to pack up and store my stuff, his I will send to his parents. Selling the loft will not be hard at all, and then probably I will head to Finland. Or something. Maybe I am just not going to bother making plans at all anymore for a little while. Though I am keeping Zeke. That much I have planned for sure.
[ disclaimer ]