STAR WARS, EPISODE VII: THE FORCE AWAKENS

[nihilistic_kid]

There is a lot of enthusiasm about the new Star Wars film, and on some level it's understandable-the new film isn't as horrifyingly embarrassing as the prequels, but The Force Awakens is still a bad movie

Comments

[anonymous]

So Chewbacca doesn't get a mention? He has the best lines!

[mallorys_camera]

This analysis is pretty brilliant.

But, of course -- as you know -- the movie was made for the 12-year-old boy who lurks inside of each and every one of us, even sextagenarian old bats like me. So cogent criticism is kinda beside the point.

[mastadge]

Explicitly at least, this one was also made for the 12-year-old girls.

[mallorys_camera]

Good point! You're right. :-)

[rimrunner]

My inner 12-year-old was pretty pleased. (Princess Jumpsword!) My 41-year-old writer-with-a-few-publications was desperately ignoring the plot holes.

My mom liked it. So overall a win.

[mallorys_camera]

This analysis is pretty brilliant.

But, of course -- as you know -- the movie was made for the 12-year-old boy who lurks inside of each and every one of us, even sextagenarian old bats like me. So cogent criticism is kinda beside the point.

[vinnie_tesla]

Can we talk about how a guy with a decade of training in lightsaber fencing gets a decent fight from Good Stormtrooper and then beaten by Jumpsword, neither of whom has touched one before today? AFTER a pretty good "Thats not how the Force works, dumbshit" joke?

I think something adventure movies routinely screw up is to not acknowledge that skill and practice are actual things that matter, and are pretty interesting, rather than inconveniences to be handwaved away.

[yendi]

This didn't bother me much -- we saw him get shot (by a gun that was explicitly mentioned as being really powerful), so it's reasonable to think he wasn't really at full (or even half) strength.

[nihilistic_kid]

Good Stormtrooper had some military training at least, and Jumpsword probably had training as a kid because of vague flashbacks suggesting that she was in the school (as Luke's daughter) and Kylo would pull on her ponytail and such. That's how she also knows how to do ariel combat but doesn't know how she knows. Luke was as good with stuff he never did before either anyway. It's good to spill out of Darth Vader's balls-fate of the galaxy in the hands of one family where nobody raises their own kids or stays in school long enough to graduate! So that didn't really bother me so much since it is the actual premise of the film.

Clearly, ep IX is Kylo and Jumpsword fucking and having a baby to finally bring balance to the force.

[nihilistic_kid]

Eh, if you like skill and practice scenes, get your ass over to Hong Kong and watch Shaw Bros movies. Really, they're much better than anything on screen today!

[vinnie_tesla]

Also do they even bother to proved a handwavy explanation for why R2 wakes up and provides the rest of the map at the moment when the MCs have run out of anything else to do?

[nihilistic_kid]

THE FORCE!!!????

[vinnie_tesla]

BINGO https://twitter.com/VinnieTesla/status/678326188922785792