(no subject)

[nihilist_hero]

if i was..
would you be to?

cause i can walk away....
i know how to walk away..
because i know pain.
and i know just how it hurts.
just where it rips..
just where it grows...
and multiplies...
and manipulates...
until you die inside...
and walk around a shell
but alive...

are you alive?
you keep screaming at me that youre dead...
but i still feel you ...

i feel you something awful..
god...
just feel me something awful too...
fuck me something awful...
love me something awful...
use me something awful...
hurt me something awful...
but most of all..
hate me something awful...

fierce...

because i cant live without your abuse....
its what makes me beautiful
its what gives me shame...
so im shy
so im hidden
so im myseterious
and painfully truthful...

be my pain
and my tormentor...

i want your sweet
faithless
obscene
coarse
dirty
impure
salacious
filthy
shameless
wicked
body touching mine
i want your hands on my bare skin
i want you in me
rubbing on me
pushing through me
consuming me

steal my spirit
because i can no longer bare to be alive
because ive never really been alive
because i never will live

because youll never know.
and youll never see
and ill never find you

ill never find you

youre just the ghost
or my lost soul wondering around...
that i happen to see
touch
taste
feel
when im asleep

and im okay being alone
because i know how to let go