drugs
heh... it's funny that just as my best friend has convinced herself she doesn't need a little seratonin boost, I've just hopped back on the reuptake train. I don't really feel like I need to take them, but after I had Zoe, they were offered, they cost next to nothing (thanks to my insurance) to get, and I have no real reason NOT to take them. I used to argue that it sucks to feel like I had to take meds to feel mentally compatible with the rest of the world... but now, I understand that NOTHING is going to make me mentally compatible with the rest of society - not because I am in incredibly intense or intelligent person, but because compatibility is an illusion. Is anyone ever REALLY compatible with anyone else, or do people just use that term to characterize a situation in which they can indefinitely tolerate someone else? I don't really believe in Harmony, so I can't believe in the notion of compatibility between people as others define it. So.. That being said, I will start taking my trusty little pink pill every day. Its affects on me are noticeable, though - otherwise, I wouldn't bother with it. I am far less likely to lash out at people and turn into a horribly bitchy, short, mean, spiteful, lewd little demon. Yea... it gets THAT bad. Fortunately, only two people have ever seen this side of me (some of you reading this might think you've seen it, but you likely haven't)... anyway, the drugs help keep it buried within the transom. My issue is not depression, as many psychiatrists have assumed, but rather with anxiety. I am far more likely to be able to keep my job with the meds and right now, that's more important than any other ramification.