Selling out
It's tough not to sell yourself out sometimes. Sell out....is that the right term? It feels like it. Either way, what I'm referring to is when you want something so bad that it feels like you'll do anything to get it. You'll stoop to whatever low you have to, give up whatever you need to. You'll sacrifice your dignity, you'll sacrifice your morals, your pride, your self respect. All because you want this so bad that it eats away at your heart little by little every day, like some slow acting poison.
But is it worth it? If you sink to that level, and finally feed that fix that you've needed for so long, and you feel the relief......is it even worth it if you can't look yourself in the mirror afterward? If you sell yourself out to fulfill a desire, what kind of person does that make you? What does that say about who you are inside, and what you're capable of?
Have you ever sold out to yourself? I haven't. At least I don't think so. But now that summer's underway, it's becoming harder. I did a few little things this weekend that I'm not proud of. I doubt I'll face any sort of ramifications, but you never know.
I've also had to be tough about something these past few days, and force myself not to sell out, and treat myself like a second class citizen. I keep adamantly telling myself that I won't settle, I won't give myself away like that. It's hard, because deep down....there's a part of me that wants to, that really really wants to.
I thank God for creating me with a strong moral fabric. I'm more persistant than I credit myself for being. And I know that I won't go down without a fight.
But just one snip, and even the toughest fabric can unravel.....
Rob
But is it worth it? If you sink to that level, and finally feed that fix that you've needed for so long, and you feel the relief......is it even worth it if you can't look yourself in the mirror afterward? If you sell yourself out to fulfill a desire, what kind of person does that make you? What does that say about who you are inside, and what you're capable of?
Have you ever sold out to yourself? I haven't. At least I don't think so. But now that summer's underway, it's becoming harder. I did a few little things this weekend that I'm not proud of. I doubt I'll face any sort of ramifications, but you never know.
I've also had to be tough about something these past few days, and force myself not to sell out, and treat myself like a second class citizen. I keep adamantly telling myself that I won't settle, I won't give myself away like that. It's hard, because deep down....there's a part of me that wants to, that really really wants to.
I thank God for creating me with a strong moral fabric. I'm more persistant than I credit myself for being. And I know that I won't go down without a fight.
But just one snip, and even the toughest fabric can unravel.....
Rob