*! EDITED !*
It's ok to be upset over feelings that you can't control, right? I mean, it's human nature to want the things that you can't have, and that makes it ok to feel hurt... right?
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EDITED: 10:49 PM
EDITED because I post too often, and I'm trying to stop that, plus it kinda deals with the same thing here, sooo... I'm just gonna put my thoughts behind a cut, and if you care you can read them, and if not oh well.
I think it's rather amazing how fast I can crash and fall. I mean, just yesterday I was posting about how happy I was and today I listened to A Perfect Circle... I only listen to APC on 2 occasions: a) when they are comming to town OR b) when I am extremely depressed. And since APC isn't comming to town, I guess we'll have to go with the latter and not the former.
I think it's rather sad that I only had to read something in order to make me feel this way, and I'm not even sure if it's true or not. Which I can almost guarentee that it is.
However, Stephen is an absolute sweetheart who talked me thru it and didn't let me do anything stupid (i.e. cut... which I tend to do when I listen to APC) He agrees with me, and he assured me that it's not my fault that I feel this way, it's just human nature. Unfortunately, he wasn't at home, he was at his mom's. Had he been at home, I would have went over there and probably would have had a breakdown. ... so I guess it's a good thing that he wasn't at home.
I think it's sad that I can let jealousy quickly take over me. I shouldn't let it, but I do. And jealousy is a horrible emotion to have. It's the one that I hate the most, yet I posses often. And I hate it when I know that I shouldn't be jealous, but I am.. and I can't stop being that way.
*sigh* Off to listen to more APC.
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EDITED: 10:49 PM
EDITED because I post too often, and I'm trying to stop that, plus it kinda deals with the same thing here, sooo... I'm just gonna put my thoughts behind a cut, and if you care you can read them, and if not oh well.
I think it's rather amazing how fast I can crash and fall. I mean, just yesterday I was posting about how happy I was and today I listened to A Perfect Circle... I only listen to APC on 2 occasions: a) when they are comming to town OR b) when I am extremely depressed. And since APC isn't comming to town, I guess we'll have to go with the latter and not the former.
I think it's rather sad that I only had to read something in order to make me feel this way, and I'm not even sure if it's true or not. Which I can almost guarentee that it is.
However, Stephen is an absolute sweetheart who talked me thru it and didn't let me do anything stupid (i.e. cut... which I tend to do when I listen to APC) He agrees with me, and he assured me that it's not my fault that I feel this way, it's just human nature. Unfortunately, he wasn't at home, he was at his mom's. Had he been at home, I would have went over there and probably would have had a breakdown. ... so I guess it's a good thing that he wasn't at home.
I think it's sad that I can let jealousy quickly take over me. I shouldn't let it, but I do. And jealousy is a horrible emotion to have. It's the one that I hate the most, yet I posses often. And I hate it when I know that I shouldn't be jealous, but I am.. and I can't stop being that way.
*sigh* Off to listen to more APC.
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