Reflections
So I've seen a bunch of random opinions on the SPN premier... (please see elizah_jane's ) and I have my own, and I might type them as we all know I love the sound of my own voice. But the more I think about it, I wonder if my reactions are more based on the environment I was in.
Okay so you need to know two things. One, I feed off people's emotions. I adjust (somewhat) in correlation. Two, I got my co-worker addicted to SPN. Though she's not like us crazy fan-girls.
So she kept insisting that I come out to her place to watch the premier even though they (read: her fiancee + his family) haven't even finished Season 3. While I was excited to have someone to watch it with (not nearly as fun as with some people ;.; read: Rizzy + mokona + yuuko) I was not happy as the amount of spoilers I'd have to give to even explain something small...
But I go out there after Victoria gets out of work (7) because she lives way out the road. And we get there...and her fiancee is clearly in a bad mood. So I spend the next hour in a half waiting for the show watching them give extreme PDA (including biting, scratching, and harming slightly DESPITE protests), fighting, and having awkward angry silences. To be fair, Victoria was trying to protest. (thank goodness for playful kitten in the room.)
I offered several times if I was not wanted, or if her fiancee wanted to go to bed, to have mum pick me up. I insisted that it wasn't a big deal at all. I wanted to flat out insist, but I didn't want to offend Victoria. Then we get fifteen mins until it starts, Victoria checks and sees that she doesn't get the station it's on according to the search. Enter heart sink, the first thing not being 'crap, I'm not going to get to watch' but 'I put up with all this for nothing.' She does find it manually, however.
So we went over, and watched, her fiance being silent and grumpy the entire time. I only fangasmed once during the show, I had brought my husky plushy to squeeze, insisting that it was better for everyone. But I'm pretty sure he doesn't like me anyway, and dammit, I was just sick of it.
I RUSHED to get the pie and cake done (Though rush was several hours. Though in the end I fucked up the whipped cream. I didn't add enough sugar.) for them. I go out of my comfort zone AGAIN to be polite/to suck it up because her fiancee will NOT go other places and she doesn't want to leave him. I spend 8 bucks to make that pie that was SPECIFICALLY for her (read: did not take any for mum or self) and I just... I dunno. I know she tried. And I know she was upset that he was acting that way. But I just.. I don't know. I spent the entire time, and even in today, just exhusted and sad.
And I know this is a pathetic complaint. I guess it just helped drilled into my brain once again how alone I feel here without everyone.
Other news:
I suck so hard at driving.
Sinuses are acting up.
I have no motivation for anything. (as in, writing this up has even been taxing.)
On the "good news" one of my great friends got engaged.
And I'll stop bitching now.
Okay so you need to know two things. One, I feed off people's emotions. I adjust (somewhat) in correlation. Two, I got my co-worker addicted to SPN. Though she's not like us crazy fan-girls.
So she kept insisting that I come out to her place to watch the premier even though they (read: her fiancee + his family) haven't even finished Season 3. While I was excited to have someone to watch it with (not nearly as fun as with some people ;.; read: Rizzy + mokona + yuuko) I was not happy as the amount of spoilers I'd have to give to even explain something small...
But I go out there after Victoria gets out of work (7) because she lives way out the road. And we get there...and her fiancee is clearly in a bad mood. So I spend the next hour in a half waiting for the show watching them give extreme PDA (including biting, scratching, and harming slightly DESPITE protests), fighting, and having awkward angry silences. To be fair, Victoria was trying to protest. (thank goodness for playful kitten in the room.)
I offered several times if I was not wanted, or if her fiancee wanted to go to bed, to have mum pick me up. I insisted that it wasn't a big deal at all. I wanted to flat out insist, but I didn't want to offend Victoria. Then we get fifteen mins until it starts, Victoria checks and sees that she doesn't get the station it's on according to the search. Enter heart sink, the first thing not being 'crap, I'm not going to get to watch' but 'I put up with all this for nothing.' She does find it manually, however.
So we went over, and watched, her fiance being silent and grumpy the entire time. I only fangasmed once during the show, I had brought my husky plushy to squeeze, insisting that it was better for everyone. But I'm pretty sure he doesn't like me anyway, and dammit, I was just sick of it.
I RUSHED to get the pie and cake done (Though rush was several hours. Though in the end I fucked up the whipped cream. I didn't add enough sugar.) for them. I go out of my comfort zone AGAIN to be polite/to suck it up because her fiancee will NOT go other places and she doesn't want to leave him. I spend 8 bucks to make that pie that was SPECIFICALLY for her (read: did not take any for mum or self) and I just... I dunno. I know she tried. And I know she was upset that he was acting that way. But I just.. I don't know. I spent the entire time, and even in today, just exhusted and sad.
And I know this is a pathetic complaint. I guess it just helped drilled into my brain once again how alone I feel here without everyone.
Other news:
I suck so hard at driving.
Sinuses are acting up.
I have no motivation for anything. (as in, writing this up has even been taxing.)
On the "good news" one of my great friends got engaged.
And I'll stop bitching now.