oral anesthetic.

[nightsmare]

she said how perfect and
i answered of course and
it made a horrendous amount
of sense.

a room can hold but so
many deceptions, and when
light barely reaches the edges,
very little becomes expected, but
the enormity of that little gifts
paralysis to the most wary or
perhaps

just me.

i didn't know pleasure felt so
much like desperation or that
it could fill you so mercilessly
like grief or that tears are
sometimes not tears but
rather just tears;

or that making me feel
beautiful was so much like
throwing me

away.