Well, it's good to know where I stand
Andrew sent you a message.
Andrew DavisSeptember 7, 2010 at 5:24am
Subject: ...
I saw your first (friend) request (on Facebook). Figured the fact that I had 500+ friends would give you a hint that maybe I hit ignore. You broke moms heart. I will never forgive you. She took care of you your whole life when you had special needs. She put you above herself. Then you pull your normal insensitive bullshit. I am sure dad will forgive you. I will not... Good luck with the rest of your life. The one that wouldn't be possible without your mothers sacrifice. She still considers your life a miracle. The tears I have wiped off her cheek make me think otherwise. Dont bother requesting my friendship again. Thanks
Just...wow. He's gotten so many things wrong, I don't know where to start:
1. The Maternal Unit taught him well, it's just like her to point out that "woohoo, I have five hundred friends and you don't, nyah, nyah!"
2. "You broke mom's heart". That's assuming she had one to break in the first place.
3. "She took care of you your whole life when you had special needs. She put you above herself." I gather she conveniently forgot to explain to him that, according to her, the Paternal Unit threatened her when I was young with "Yeah, right, you're going to take care of a handicapped kid on a teacher's salary? You think I'm gonna give you child support? Pfft!" So, according to her, the reason she couldn't leave a miserable marriage is that she'd lose the standard of living to which she's now become accustomed. And I know that for a fact, she's told me so multiple times. And I'd like to know how the Fraternal Unit reconciles "she took care of you" with "You're such a stupid, ugly, worthless, insensitive, evil, ungrateful bitch, it's no wonder you can't find/keep a boyfriend/husband! The only reason we put up with you is because we have to, we're related to you, nobody else would want you!"
4. "She put you above herself..." Um, not in this lifetime, buddy!
5. "I am sure Dad will forgive you..." That's doubtful, since I haven't spoken to him in at least a month. And that presupposes that it matters to me whether he forgives me or not.
6. "Good luck with the rest of your life, the one that wouldn't be possible without your mother's sacrifice..." He doesn't know his history very well, does he? I was born 1/23/72. Roe v Wade (the Supreme Court decision making abortion legal in America) was passed 1/22/73. The Maternal Unit has never given me a single reason *not* to believe that if I'd been conceived a year later, and prenatal testing for hydrocephalus had been available back then, I wouldn't be sitting here right now. Sacrifice, my ass. Although...it is kinda interesting that he says "your" mother, and not "our" mother, isn't it?
7. "She still considers your life a miracle". For the reasons I've outlined above, I know that's patently false. Which is not to say that the "miracle" part is false. I've been to enough HA conventions to know how lucky I am. But that sentence presupposoes that she wanted me, loves me and cares about me. Which would be nice if it were true, but...what she considers "miraculous" is her oh-so-saintly ability to look past my many flaws and wax eloquent on how wonderful *she* is to have put up with me for 38 years.
8. "The tears I have wiped off her cheek..." are tears of self-pity and nothing else. She wouldn't know genuine emotion if it walked up and smacked her in the face.
Having said all that, I'm closer to crying than I am to laughing right now. I've long suspected where his allegiance lay, but it breaks *my* heart that he finally spelled it out for me so bluntly.