The Maternal Unit liked to pretend that she couldn't figure out why it was taking me five years to get my undergrad degree.
"I finished mine in 3.5 years!"
"Yes, but you had a car. You could drive."
During the school year I lived on campus. UH was about 40 mins from my parents' home. When she'd complain about "how long it was taking" for me to finish my degree, I'd say "Fine, let me go to summer school."
"But summer school is more expensive! Housing is more expensive during the summer. I'm not paying those outrageous rates just so you can finish early!"
"Okay, so can you drive me back and forth?"
"I get claustrophobic on freeways! I can't drive freeways! And your father has to work! If you think he's going to be able to take time out of his day just to shuttle you around, you seriously have another think coming, young lady!"
Nevermind the fact that *she* was the one pissing and moaning about "how long" it was taking me. So, once again, it's "damned if I do and damned if I don't". I never had any objections to summer school. I *wanted* to go, because if I *did* finish early, it would have been that much earlier (I hoped, at the time) I could get out from under her control. To this day, the Maternal Unit still doesn't see the irony in "I got my degree in 3.5 years by being a commuter student and going every summer!" and "Why is it taking *you* so long to finish *your* degree? You're just determined to make me waste more money on you, aren't you?"
I get it! And once I was finally out of 'the nest' I got "Why aren't you applying for jobs? Why aren't you working?" when I'd been just about scared into total frozen stillness about the whole process, thanks to her. After spending my whole life with them being told (and even now if I were to listen) all the stuff I 'couldn't handle' or 'couldn't do' it's amazing I ever did anything at all.
I honestly didn't really blossom and grow as a confident, self-assured person until I met hubby. He (and his family) taught me what "unconditional love" really means. I look back at the person I was then--as you say, "scared into total frozen stiffness"--and reflect on the person I am now, and I'm so thankful to have made it far enough that I did ultimately find light at the end of my long, dark, lonely tunnel.
"I finished mine in 3.5 years!"
"Yes, but you had a car. You could drive."
During the school year I lived on campus. UH was about 40 mins from my parents' home. When she'd complain about "how long it was taking" for me to finish my degree, I'd say "Fine, let me go to summer school."
"But summer school is more expensive! Housing is more expensive during the summer. I'm not paying those outrageous rates just so you can finish early!"
"Okay, so can you drive me back and forth?"
"I get claustrophobic on freeways! I can't drive freeways! And your father has to work! If you think he's going to be able to take time out of his day just to shuttle you around, you seriously have another think coming, young lady!"
Nevermind the fact that *she* was the one pissing and moaning about "how long" it was taking me. So, once again, it's "damned if I do and damned if I don't". I never had any objections to summer school. I *wanted* to go, because if I *did* finish early, it would have been that much earlier (I hoped, at the time) I could get out from under her control. To this day, the Maternal Unit still doesn't see the irony in "I got my degree in 3.5 years by being a commuter student and going every summer!" and "Why is it taking *you* so long to finish *your* degree? You're just determined to make me waste more money on you, aren't you?"
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