Nostalgia

[nightshade057]

I just came across the song "I Want You Back" by N'Sync online. I'm listening to it right now and this wave of feelings and memories has come flooding back to me. Suddenly I feel younger, more naive, and more innocent. I remember my birthday in 7th grade when I went ice-skating with my friend Chris Regan and they played this song. I remember Good Shepherd and the laughable social heirarchy. I remember smiling teachers and gossiping students. I remember my old room, with its dark blue bedspread and my mineral rock collection. I remember my lime-green baseball cap that I used to wear backwards, my red nike baseball cap, my white sneakers, and my short hair. I remember the importance of hour-long phone calls. I remember the thrill of a boyhood crush. I remember the 7th grade dance when John Tran and I went shopping for clothes together so we could go to the dance and look "like the cool kids". I bought myself a silver chain and baggy pants and I got a crew cut. I remember being really short. I remember when summer was the future that I looked forward to. I remember when Disney Radio was cool. I remember when there were good cartoons on TV. I remember my Batman action figure collection. I remember my friend Daniel, while we were still friends. I remember how I used to stay over at his house all the time and I never understood his distinctly Mexican (or perhaps distinctly non-Venezuelan) terminology when he spoke to me in Spanish. I remember staying up late at night and talking about girls, the countries we left behind, and food. I remember when pop was cool. I remember being "the artist" and the "really nice guy". I remember having the coolest and most creative projects in all my classes and having people clamor to be my partner. I remember friendship. I remember "knowing" what it was and having it in abundance. I remember secret crushes and passing notes in class. I remember playing Magic the Gathering and collecting and trading the cards. I remember when Church was just something that the school thought was important. I remember when it was important to "not be too focused on 'religion'". I remember when I had "religion" in a box, so that it didn't touch the rest of my life. I remember Sr. Rosemary's class and all of the answers that came out of her little book of pious fluff. I remember Christina and Justin. I remember being unaquainted with agnosticism and relativism. I remember penny-flinging lessons. I remember garage sales. I remember having three best friends. I remember how "grown up" it felt to curse. I remember "Time Twister" Lego sets. I remember Goosebumps. I remember not having to study for English, Science, or Religion. I remember 'Beethoven Lives Upstairs' and 'Jesus Christ Superstar'. I remember candles and the song "Go Make a Difference". I remember making a new friend and then having a crush on her. I remember I was stupid. I remember simplicity. I remember a super-abundance of time. I remember not living all the way across Orlando from everybody else.

Music is amazing. Remembering is bittersweet. Growing up is depressing.