in the vip with the chicks and the druggssss
I reallyyy need to get a scale. It's hard to diet if you can't see any results, not even a little number that tells you that you're better than the day before.
Pretty much of what I eat lately is raw nuts and raw or dried fruit. I'm trying to drink a lot of tea and water, and I want to drink more juice. Decided to start taking a multivitamin. Went running and then walking this morning. It's kind of weird. I went so long not caring about what I ate, and now, all of a sudden, all I want is to be thin. I used to be thin, thin enough that people told me I needed to eat more. That's what I want to get back to. My self-esteem has been so low. I haven't felt hot in the longest time. More and more of my clothes stopped fitting me. I want to lose fifty pounds, and for once in my life, that doesn't sound impossible. I just have to keep going, keep trying. I think what really did it was that gorgeous guy at Spider House saying good night to me. I just felt like if he'd gotten a closer look at me, he wouldn't have paid attention to me because of my weight. And I felt like I need to work to deserve that kind of attention. I want to lose weight so that if some hot guy happens to look at me, I'll feel good about it instead of self-conscious and pessimistic.
Being motivated to lose weight is, I think, helping me to be more motivated about other things, too. I want to get into art again, to start practicing anatomy and that sort of good stuff. I haven't given a shit in so long. I want a good sleeping schedule. I want to start thinking seriously about college and my future.
Of course, at the same time, in a lot of ways, I think maybe I just want to torture myself.
Pretty much of what I eat lately is raw nuts and raw or dried fruit. I'm trying to drink a lot of tea and water, and I want to drink more juice. Decided to start taking a multivitamin. Went running and then walking this morning. It's kind of weird. I went so long not caring about what I ate, and now, all of a sudden, all I want is to be thin. I used to be thin, thin enough that people told me I needed to eat more. That's what I want to get back to. My self-esteem has been so low. I haven't felt hot in the longest time. More and more of my clothes stopped fitting me. I want to lose fifty pounds, and for once in my life, that doesn't sound impossible. I just have to keep going, keep trying. I think what really did it was that gorgeous guy at Spider House saying good night to me. I just felt like if he'd gotten a closer look at me, he wouldn't have paid attention to me because of my weight. And I felt like I need to work to deserve that kind of attention. I want to lose weight so that if some hot guy happens to look at me, I'll feel good about it instead of self-conscious and pessimistic.
Being motivated to lose weight is, I think, helping me to be more motivated about other things, too. I want to get into art again, to start practicing anatomy and that sort of good stuff. I haven't given a shit in so long. I want a good sleeping schedule. I want to start thinking seriously about college and my future.
Of course, at the same time, in a lot of ways, I think maybe I just want to torture myself.