(no subject)
I have come to realize that I don't post much upon here anymore, and that I lean heavily on my other diaries that fill the net with my constant babble of things that bother and annoy me, and the thoughts that I wish to express on a daily basis but have a problem doing so on here because there are people on here that I wish wouldn't judge me wrong. They mean something to me, and I feel it deep within my heart, but there is no way of really knowing what they will think of me and my ideas, thoughts, or beliefs until I post them up on here and get something back from them. It's all confusing it seems, but it makes perfect sense to me, if you need an explaination, ask my sister for my yahoo name and I will gladly talk to you about them and everything else that I have to say.
The conformity of those around me and at my summer school are driving me up the wall, they can't think for themselves and do nothing but knock themselves down the stairway of the drones and it's really aggravating. No one wants to know who laid who, how great it was, or who is going out with who, and I am close to turning around and shaking some sense into these YM magazine heads that are nothing but imitations and who put on a fake mask.
And I am personally tired of the bible thumpers in the world. Don't get me wrong, I'm thrilled that they found something that they are happy with, but it's just not for me, so quit fucking shoving it down my throat, the good spirits know that I have a temper problem, please don't provoke it out. It's great that they have something like that, but when going around and saying, " Your going to hell because you are a sinner and not saved", that is a little much for me and I grow weary of it. Everyone is placed upon this earth to believe in something that suits them, or not believe if they wish, all is supposed to believe in something different. I mean, look at it, in all religions, if you put people in the same room and have them say their beliefs, there not all going to be the same, to each their own and many will have their own thoughts about it. So, do us a favor before you cause me to get pissed, take a look around, not everyone believes in what you do, so shut the fuck up about it already.
I have been having weird dreams again, but they are so vivid, they seem real. I mean, hell, I dream in color, and I have all five of my senses in the dreams, so I'm not sure if they are dreams or not, or if they are real. It's quite confusing to me, but I have managed to separate things into their own catagories, which in the end is helping out more then when they are jumbled. I don't know what they mean, but I know that I am having them for a reason, I just have to figure out what for and why. There are alwasy hidden meanings within them, I know that, I just have to dig deep and find out what they are.
I am doing well in summer school, the first week of it is done and I already have a 98 in the class. Algebra 2 is so much easier in summer school then school, my last Algebra teacher didn't know how to stop when I had a question to redo it until I understood it like this one does. So, my grades are well, and I understand everything better then I do now.
I got an e-mail the other day from my brother saying that he was doing good and that yes, he is getting married and hopes that I will be standing in the wedding. I'm fine with this and everything, I'm in just a bit of shock though that he got a hold of me, because I didn't think he wanted to talk to me. I have been trying for the better part of 2 years to get a hold of him, and he never did get back to me or anything. I was hurt over that, but now that he is talking to me again, maybe things will start to look up again, I don't know.
Anyways, this is all for this update, I will be making more in here, and I promise they will be much more like this one, much more lengthy and full of my ideas. I will be posting much more in here as well. Sorry if I offened any of you guys out there, but if you take offense to this, oh well, I don't really care, they are MY thoughts and MY views and MY beliefs. Thank you and I'll be back in a few days, if not tomorrow.
The conformity of those around me and at my summer school are driving me up the wall, they can't think for themselves and do nothing but knock themselves down the stairway of the drones and it's really aggravating. No one wants to know who laid who, how great it was, or who is going out with who, and I am close to turning around and shaking some sense into these YM magazine heads that are nothing but imitations and who put on a fake mask.
And I am personally tired of the bible thumpers in the world. Don't get me wrong, I'm thrilled that they found something that they are happy with, but it's just not for me, so quit fucking shoving it down my throat, the good spirits know that I have a temper problem, please don't provoke it out. It's great that they have something like that, but when going around and saying, " Your going to hell because you are a sinner and not saved", that is a little much for me and I grow weary of it. Everyone is placed upon this earth to believe in something that suits them, or not believe if they wish, all is supposed to believe in something different. I mean, look at it, in all religions, if you put people in the same room and have them say their beliefs, there not all going to be the same, to each their own and many will have their own thoughts about it. So, do us a favor before you cause me to get pissed, take a look around, not everyone believes in what you do, so shut the fuck up about it already.
I have been having weird dreams again, but they are so vivid, they seem real. I mean, hell, I dream in color, and I have all five of my senses in the dreams, so I'm not sure if they are dreams or not, or if they are real. It's quite confusing to me, but I have managed to separate things into their own catagories, which in the end is helping out more then when they are jumbled. I don't know what they mean, but I know that I am having them for a reason, I just have to figure out what for and why. There are alwasy hidden meanings within them, I know that, I just have to dig deep and find out what they are.
I am doing well in summer school, the first week of it is done and I already have a 98 in the class. Algebra 2 is so much easier in summer school then school, my last Algebra teacher didn't know how to stop when I had a question to redo it until I understood it like this one does. So, my grades are well, and I understand everything better then I do now.
I got an e-mail the other day from my brother saying that he was doing good and that yes, he is getting married and hopes that I will be standing in the wedding. I'm fine with this and everything, I'm in just a bit of shock though that he got a hold of me, because I didn't think he wanted to talk to me. I have been trying for the better part of 2 years to get a hold of him, and he never did get back to me or anything. I was hurt over that, but now that he is talking to me again, maybe things will start to look up again, I don't know.
Anyways, this is all for this update, I will be making more in here, and I promise they will be much more like this one, much more lengthy and full of my ideas. I will be posting much more in here as well. Sorry if I offened any of you guys out there, but if you take offense to this, oh well, I don't really care, they are MY thoughts and MY views and MY beliefs. Thank you and I'll be back in a few days, if not tomorrow.