I can't decide whether you should live or die
Last night's dreams were disjointed. I can't remember a plot or much of a story, but I do remember the main elements that remained throughout. I woke up several times last night - as is prone to happen when you're sharing a tiny bed - but every time I fell back to sleep I fell into virtually the same dream. Heh.
The same people were in each one, friends from NYU. The setting was virtually the same, grand houses and urban enviornments. And the same thing happened in each, Ryan was there and ignoring me in some fashion. So the first time I woke up, I said to myself, "Lauren, you're an idiot. Just don't let it upset you."
And I fell asleep, back into the same dream. Same thing happened. Ryan's a bitch, and I felt shitty. Woke up, told myself not to let him bother me. The world isn't conquered by those with glass jaws.
I fell alseep, back into the same dream. Same thing happened. Except it bothered me less. And less. And less. And finally, in the last dream, I was trying to kill him. Haha. I had a gun - "everything should be beautiful" - and I was looking for him. Thinking on it now, it seems like a terrible and hideous thing to even think about. But in the dream, it was entirely different. It didn't have much to do with death, but vindication. I saw him standing at the corner of 4th and WS East and started walking toward him. But then Elliott pulled me closer to him and I woke up, and I laughed, and I told him my dream.
The same people were in each one, friends from NYU. The setting was virtually the same, grand houses and urban enviornments. And the same thing happened in each, Ryan was there and ignoring me in some fashion. So the first time I woke up, I said to myself, "Lauren, you're an idiot. Just don't let it upset you."
And I fell asleep, back into the same dream. Same thing happened. Ryan's a bitch, and I felt shitty. Woke up, told myself not to let him bother me. The world isn't conquered by those with glass jaws.
I fell alseep, back into the same dream. Same thing happened. Except it bothered me less. And less. And less. And finally, in the last dream, I was trying to kill him. Haha. I had a gun - "everything should be beautiful" - and I was looking for him. Thinking on it now, it seems like a terrible and hideous thing to even think about. But in the dream, it was entirely different. It didn't have much to do with death, but vindication. I saw him standing at the corner of 4th and WS East and started walking toward him. But then Elliott pulled me closer to him and I woke up, and I laughed, and I told him my dream.