Holiday Giggles
~ For Christmas I got Sabrina The Sims for her Nintendo Game Cube. At first it was nice and fun, Sabrina testing the waters with made up characters, no one but her being that interested. But then we decided to make copies of ourselves (as accurately as possible), the Logan family (can you tell what was on my mind when I named us?), and live together in Sexity (can you tell what was on Sab's mind when she named the town?).
For 3 days, we lived in the basement, playing until all hours of the night (or should I say morning?). We screamed, pleaded, fretted, encouraged and swore at our digital counterparts. We also laughed our asses off.
Sabrina Logan never made her bed, laughed hysterically at cartoons, enjoyed walking in on people when they were in the bathroom, and all someone had to do was say 'Hi' to her and she was socially content for 3 days.
Myriam Logan had a sleeping disorder, set fire to the kitchen 3 times, cried in room corners because she desperately wanted a boyfriend, and once she finally did get a boyfriend, it only lasted a few days.
Elaine Logan once slept on the front lawn, peed in the kitchen, twirled and dipped her boyfriend while dancing, and refused her boyfriends marriage proposal claiming that she couldn't think on an empty stomach. (Can you imagine Real Elaine's shock at that, after all the hard work she'd put in the relationship? Lol).
~ We went into this small boutique full of knick-knacks and collectors items. They really had a wide variety of items, from innocent stuffed animals to vibrating dildos. Sabrina got herself a t-shirt that said 'Finally Legal (bring on the booze)'. Though she's not legal yet, it was commented on a few times during the holidays that she enjoyed her booze a little too much, so we thought the t-shirt was an appropriate memento. We also saw a pair of underwear that read 'Size Does Matter'... which isn't that funny, but leads into the next bit.
~ We went to see the final installment in the Lord of the Rings trilogy and laughed to tears during a certain scene thanks to Elaine.
[Frodo awakes from his coma to be energetically molested by his small-sized best friends.]
[Gimly comes forth]
Elaine (as Gimly): “Can I join in?”
Elaine (as Frodo): “Sure! Size doesn't matter.”
[Legolas and Aragon come forth]
[Elaine, Sabrina, and Myr, all laughing too hard to say anything else.]
~ A little inside joke: In the movie Love Actually (my favorite movie of the year!), Elaine loved the joke about Miss Dunkin Donuts. At Christmas, Sabrina gave her a t-shirt that read 'Funkn Gonuts'. A few days later, after Sabrina had drunk a glass too many and started uttering comments that were outrageous (even for her), I nicknamed her 'Miss Drunken Donuts'.
~ We dyed our hair, for the exception of Sab who's age doesn't allow it yet. We left splatters and brush strokes of color behind us, but thankfully watered everything down before any semi-permanent stains set in. We did unfortunately leave a mark though; a Winnie the Pooh towel now sports a brown beauty mark.
~ Sabrina really had the holiday spirit: “Joy to the world, my mother's dead. We barbecued her head.”
~ At one of the holiday dinners, my cousins' prim and proper grandmother managed to shock us all wide eyed and slack jaw (followed by bursts of laughter... but the first few seconds of surprised silence were quite noticeable). And how did she manage this, you might ask? She simply said the P word, lol: “There's one rule for staying out of trouble when you go out partying. Stay away from the penis!”
~ We played Darts a few times. Not the 'who can hit the bull's-eye the most' kind, but the 'who can hit the floor and ceiling the least' lol.
~ For a whole week I'd tried to get them into reading The Stand. They were quite interested with the basis of the plot (as I knew they would be. My cousins revel in morbidity.), but the size (1141 pages) dampened their eagerness.
Can you guess when they finally both felt the urge to read about the apocalypse? A mere hour after celebrating the New Year. Good times, good times.
~ One night, the three of us slept on the pullout couch in the basement. Elaine was in the middle, boiling of heat, and trying to get the sheets unmade so she could stick her feet out. After some tugging and wiggling, we finally heard:
Elaine: “Oh yesss.”
Myr: “Wow, that sounded practically orgasmic for her.”
Elaine: “I finally found my hole!”
ROFLMAO