Super Bowl Wrap-Up and Commercial Time!
Don't give a crap about the game, though I do make random comments about happenings other than commercials.
6.15 pm: Unbox DiGorno Pizza and Wyngz. Put wyng sauce to thaw on warm stove while wyngz go into oven to cook as they take longer than the pizza. Oo! Players are coming out. We start soon.
6.20: Christina Aguilara (don't give a fuck about spelling, fyi) is doing the Star Spangled Banner and seems to be going for a Cher look. Fuck, she even is sounding like Cher. You need to stop stealing from other people, honey. ... Did I just hear some mangling of lyrics?
COMMERCIALS: Kung Fu Panda. We will wok you. Really? That's what you're going with?
Bears and McDonalds. Cute. 'Course bears that do things like this are trapped and then put to sleep.
Get a fater 4G boradband with AT&T. Seen it.
Glee. Fringe. House. Fox. Whatever.
More Fox. We know what channel we're watching guys, thanks.
What's that smell?
6.35 pm: Wyngz almost burned. Somehow oven went up to 450. How the HELL did that happen? Threw pizza in. Anything happen?
FocusRally. Huh. Oh, it's a Ford ad. Ok. For a second there I though we were going to get a PSA.
6.50: Bud Light "all new kicthen" ad. Is this suppose to be funny? Huh. It's not.
Doritos + Pug + taunting human behind a glass door = happy pug with Doritos and one stupid human
High Society Prison. Ah, an Audi commercial. Cute. Kenny G. Even better.
6.55: Doritos and the suckery of cheesy fingers. Creepy. Oh, now he's sniffing pants. Even creepier.
Chevy and old folk's home. Hi Stan!
Pepsi and the psyco wife/girlfriend. Nice hit. TKO
Halftime show's coming up! Still 1st quarter, dumbasses.
I would also like to point out that Digorno's pizzas have really dropped off in quality. Crust tastes like cardboard.
7.00 pm: Bud Light and the Three Musketeers. The truck is a nice touch.
Chevy truck playing 'Lassie'. Pity you still can't get away from the annoying kid.
Vin Diesel in another fast car movie. Haven't I seen this before...?
Ad for Chocago Code. Meh.
7.05: Pepsi and hitting douchebags in the balls. Seems to be a theme here with Pepsi.
Doritos creates miracles. Yea. No.
Hyundai. Hey, I like compact cars. Screw you!
Fringe ad. Meh.
NFL Draft. Screw you too. People are too obsessed with American Football as it is, now the damned draft is broadcast live. LIVE!
7.07: Cowboys and Aliens. Looks kinda like fun, as a Netflix rental.
Rich douche steals car... And Posidon saves the day! Nope. Wrong. Aliens stole the car now. No, wait... now the Optima is our God. Huzzah!
Raising Hope ad. Meh.
Ooo... Hard cider is making my head all floaty.
Unsportsman-like conduct for dropping to your knees after a touchdown?! REALLY?
7.12 pm: Claymation Eminem and Brisk tea. Lame.
7.16: Horrors of the modern age! What the hell does mass emails have to do with tires?
Innovation is awsome! Volt from Chevy.
Go Daddy is such a sleazy ad campagain, except that Joan Rivers just classed it up. Who wants some old Jew uterus?
House ad. Meh.
Local ad featuring Jim Kelly. Meh. Frey electrical, except they seem to be pronouncing it F-E-Y. Huh?
7.23 pm: Clydesdales. Must be Budweiser. Yep. Western themes seem to be hot right now. Elton John song. Cute.
Teleflora and awsome racks. Whatever.
Transformers 3, has to be. Yep. There's Bumblebee. Still don't get the title. You need one more word in there, Bay.
7.26 pm: BMW, we're an American car company! Honest! Whatever.
Be better than everyone else.. or don't be like everyone else... um... Buy an electronic touch-screen tablet that ISN'T an iPad! XOOM!
Congested roadways suck. Buy a BMW diesel!
7.31: Some MMORPG? Nope. Coke ad. Red dragon defeated with the awsome power of bubbly drink. City saved.
Thor ad. Meh. Probably going to see it anyway.
Darth Vader Jr. honing his force skills. Neat VW ad. Short version though, the longer one is funnier. Go look for it.
7.39 pm: Roseanne is taken out by a tree! Now that's funny. Snickers comes through again this year.
Monkey's and careerbuilder.com. Meh.
Aliens? I guess. Maybe. Super 8 movie ad. Explosions!
Halftime coming up! Yea. We know. Thanks.
And then we see thousands outside the stadium who paid $200 a ticket to stand outside in the fucking cold to watch the game on projected screens. Screw you, Dallas.
Chevy Eco ad again. It reads Facebook status updates? Really? Fuck. Enough people are addicted to that shit. You're not helping their problems.
Ooo. A Captain America commercial. Now THIS looks interesting. It's WWII Cap? Awsome.
Footage of old Super Bowl... ah, it's a Castol Oil ad.
Car max. Lots of sayings like 'Happy as a hippy in a drum circle' then you get a hippie in a drum circle. M'kay.
SECOND QUARTER IS OVER!
Local ad time. American Idol. Meh.
Frey electric ad again. This one has a different Buffalo Bills player... coach? Someone.
Chevy Cruz ad.
Furnature store ad.
Toyota Trucks are all-American! Sure they are.
Another furnature store ad.
8.07 pm: Datona 500 racing., Yawn
Dodge Ram trucks. Meh.
Fox ad. Meh.
Wait, was that a cell phone ad? I didn't get the product. I drifted off there...
HALF-TIME SHOW
Oooo... Liking the funky sci-fi Black Eye Peas. Very cool.
Nice to see the dancing condoms from the Canadian Olympics are still getting gigs.
8.22 pm: "Watch what we can do with 15 seconds!" chatter.com ad. Oh! That was what I thought was a cell phone ad from before. Still dull.
Animation Domination. Meh.
Glee. barf
Jeep. blah
Older gorilla in the room ad for AXA. meh
Same Toyota truck as as before
Time Warner Cable says don't miss important news events and TV shows! Buy us!
Local furnature ad again.
Frey ad again.
8.21 pm: NFL online ad. Get our shit 24/7; 365 days a year!!! Never sleep!
House is an asshole. Who'd have thunk that?
Car Warriors is some new show on some new channel.
Daytona 500 ad again
8.36: Cars.com. Don't be an idiot, let other people be idiots FIRST!
Best Buy with Ozzy Osbourn and Justine Bieber. 'Kinda looks like a girl'. Cute.
Chicago Code ad again, just in case you missed the first 6.
Idol again. Gawd, I don't care.
8.43 pm: Pirates of the Carribean prequel. Zombies, mermaids and Blackbeard. What more do you need? Oh, Captain Jack Sparrow!
Mini Cooper ad. Compact cars are called that for a reason, morons. A larger compact car is just called a car. Honest.
Homeaway.com. Would have been funnier of the 'Test Baby' didn't appear on screen.
8.49: Gettin' tired of the car ads. Damnit I LIKE compact cars!
groupon.com. Tibetan people are suffering, so go to a themed restaurant for dinner.
Coca Cola resolves conflict. You hear that Egypt?
853 pm: Stella Artois and Adrien Brody. Check out that nose!
Car max and what 'full service' meant at a gas station once upon a time. Cute.
The X Factor. Oh, sweet fuck I don't care.
9.00 pm: Chysler. We Detroit. We badass. Sure you are...
Did I miss an ad break? No? Huh.
9,21: NFL ad. Really? Okay, funnier than it deserved. South Park did it.
More local ads. Several furnature, a mattress one. Meh.
9.31: Rango movie. Explosions. More explosions. Other stuff. THIS IS YOUR AD CAMPAIN?!?!?
Talkin' cars on cars.com. Not as funny as it should have been.
Anthro dogs on Bud Light ad. Actually, I was distracted on how painful all the pooches looked, being all stretched out like that.
---finish up tomorrow