(no subject)
i feel the need to pour my heart out right now and spend a couple minutes focused on just how i feel more than anything else. i think i'm going to have to start journaling more often.
i need to clean up the cans that people left at my house last night during my little fiesta. especially because tim gets moody like a little girl when things aren't spic and span.
i'm making it a new goal or mission of mine, to not drink for a month straight. i've already decided that doing that is probably the best idea. i'm also thinking about just saying no to parties all together for that month too, whether i'm drinking or not. we all know that it's easier to resist temptation when it's not in front of your face, AND i think i need to stop focusing on all these people in my life and focus on myself first.
i'm vulnerable and lonely and i know it. i shouldn't be drinking when i'm like that. i don't feel amazing about myself... i don't hate myself either, but i always feel better when i'm with friends or have a boy. i shouldn't be like this. we come into this world alone and we die alone.
this whole semester has been full of changes, and i've been taking it in stride, but i feel so overwhelmed now. i feel like i've been trying to fill a void, and that i'm not completely happy with myself unless there is someone around to validate me. i hope i get out of this funk asap.
although i should probably stop thinking about boys for once in my life, i really would like to prove to myself that i can walk up to a complete stranger and ask them their name without having had a couple of drinks first.
the world keeps turning, and i know i will be ok... but damnit i want instant gratification.
i need to clean up the cans that people left at my house last night during my little fiesta. especially because tim gets moody like a little girl when things aren't spic and span.
i'm making it a new goal or mission of mine, to not drink for a month straight. i've already decided that doing that is probably the best idea. i'm also thinking about just saying no to parties all together for that month too, whether i'm drinking or not. we all know that it's easier to resist temptation when it's not in front of your face, AND i think i need to stop focusing on all these people in my life and focus on myself first.
i'm vulnerable and lonely and i know it. i shouldn't be drinking when i'm like that. i don't feel amazing about myself... i don't hate myself either, but i always feel better when i'm with friends or have a boy. i shouldn't be like this. we come into this world alone and we die alone.
this whole semester has been full of changes, and i've been taking it in stride, but i feel so overwhelmed now. i feel like i've been trying to fill a void, and that i'm not completely happy with myself unless there is someone around to validate me. i hope i get out of this funk asap.
although i should probably stop thinking about boys for once in my life, i really would like to prove to myself that i can walk up to a complete stranger and ask them their name without having had a couple of drinks first.
the world keeps turning, and i know i will be ok... but damnit i want instant gratification.