Fuck Surveys
I get tired of all the damn surveys on people's journals, "What's your favorite color? How old are you? Do you prefer vanilla or chocolate?". Who gives a fuck if you prefer vanilla or chocolate?! So I am devising a survey to more accurately calculate people's interests. Please post your survey answers in the commentary section
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yes
2. You god damn lier, who fucked you in the asshole?
uncle herb, he was my first love
3. Have you ever masturbated to the thought of a cast member from the Golden Girls?
I'll give you a hint: I'm typing with one hand
4. Do you even know what the hell a Golden Girls is?
those girls that R. Kelly pees on?
5. Why do you look at your poop before you flush it?
I look for shapes in my excrement, like people staring at clouds
6. I know you looked at your poop the last time you flushed it you mother fucker. Don't fuck with me, what the hell is wrong with you?
something wrong in the head, I suppose
7. Would you fuck a person with an STD if they were the hottest person you have ever seen?
Hey, I fuck paul's mom. you know how many STD's she has and SHE AIN'T EVEN SOMEWHAT ATTRACTIVE
8. Come on, don't bullshit me, you would fuck them even if they had 10 STD's. Just double bag it and take some aspirin or something. "Ouch, it burns! It's itchy, for the love of god kill me now!" No one gives a damn about your itchy genitals! Have you ever poured Windex on someone's penis to relieve the itching?
duh, it's Grandma's home remedy
9. Why did you picture a penis being doused in Windex you sick mother fucker?
I don't need to picture it, assmunch, I'm dousing my neighbor's right now
10. Have you ever stalked someone and tried to kill them; but decided not to go through it with because they live in your home and help pay the rent?
EVERY DAY
11. Have you ever offered a homeless man some food, and then kicked him in the balls when he tried to take it from you?
hah no, but that is a good idea.....*runs out and tries it*
12. Then when that homeless bastard was on the ground crying because you kicked him in the balls, have you ever knocked him out and put him in the trunk of your car?
*come home* Aw man, I should've done that. Kinda of like a doggy bag. "You didn't get enough dirt homeless man ass? Well now you can take it home for midnight snacking!"
13. What the hell is that smell?
My penis. I think its infected now. That homeless man was DIRTY
14. You know what that fucking smell is, don't play dumb you filthy cock sucker. Have you no shame?
Alright, I lied, its Paul's mom's pussy. Yeah, you can smell it from here.
15. Why are you wasting your fucking life taking my survey?
Do I look like I have a life outside of beating off to the golden girls?
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