Fuck Surveys
I get tired of all the damn surveys on people's journals, "What's your favorite color? How old are you? Do you prefer vanilla or chocolate?". Who gives a fuck if you prefer vanilla or chocolate?! So I am devising a survey to more accurately calculate people's interests. Please post your survey answers in the commentary section
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2. You god damn lier, who fucked you in the asshole? you don't remember
3. Have you ever masturbated to the thought of a cast member from the Golden Girls? Does Goldie Hon count
4. Do you even know what the hell a Golden Girls is? heard of them, but couldn't put a name to any faces unless one of them is goldie hon or bett Mitler
5. Why do you look at your poop before you flush it? to see if I can beat my record of twelve inches
6. I know you looked at your poop the last time you flushed it you mother fucker. Don't fuck with me, what the hell is wrong with you? I'm obcessed
7. Would you fuck a person with an STD if they were the hottest person you have ever seen? I fuck them even if they were the ugliest person I knew
8. Come on, don't bullshit me, you would fuck them even if they had 10 STD's. Just double bag it and take some aspirin or something. "Ouch, it burns! It's itchy, for the love of god kill me now!" No one gives a damn about your itchy genitals! Have you ever poured Windex on someone's penis to relieve the itching? Once again, you don't remember
9. Why did you picture a penis being doused in Windex you sick mother fucker? It's hard not to picture a penis period
10. Have you ever stalked someone and tried to kill them; but decided not to go through it with because they live in your home and help pay the rent? If by tried to kill them, you mean tried to rape them in the butt and by didn't go through with it you meant I did, and by paying the rent you meant performing sexual favors,...then yes I have
11. Have you ever offered a homeless man some food, and then kicked him in the balls when he tried to take it from you? No, but I told him I have tacos in the back ally under a box and when he bent over to get them...I RAPED him
12. Then when that homeless bastard was on the ground crying because you kicked him in the balls, have you ever knocked him out and put him in the trunk of your car? well he was on the ground crying but not cause I kicked him in the balls, but if by knocked him out and put him in the trunk of my car you mean knocked him out and went in for the second round, then yes
13. What the hell is that smell? I'm not sure, but there is something heavy in the back of my pants
14. You know what that fucking smell is, don't play dumb you filthy cock sucker. Have you no shame? alright, alright I shit my pants a while back
15. Why are you wasting your fucking life taking my survey? because I am in love with you
-Robby
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