I don't blame you for being you, but you can't blame me for hating it.
When you love someone and they break your heart, don't give up on love have faith restart.
I'm kind of out of it and I don't know why. Yet again, that weird wave of depression came over me a few seconds ago and nothing happened. I'm just kind of like..."I hate this." and all shit. I hate it, really I do. I want to get better, but everyone says I am, but I'm not. It sucks because no one fully gets me and my fucked up head. I want that one person to come up soon so I know they're there, but they're not there because there isn't someone. I just can't this alone anymore. I'm fighting a battle that I can't win. It's turning in to a war with my body. My heart and head, my heart is losing and my head is winning, by so much. My life isn't working out, it's keeping me up at night and it makes me want to die.
I got my sister in trouble because we can't have more then one pop today and we can't eat in our rooms, so she was trying to do both. My mom told her not to do it, so while I'm eating she comes out and starts watching that Ashlee Simpson video that proves to all of us she is really crazy. It's sad what she does try to upset me. I mean, really. Come on, I knew she was going to do it before she even did it. She needs to find something else.
Yes, this stuff is still getting to me, she won't stop. I know I shouldn't fight back, but I'm thinking it's all I got left now since she won't listen to me. Or maybe I should talk to my mom about going to therapy again. I don't know anymore, but I can't take my sister much longer. I mean, she makes me feel like I'm worthless and I can't do anything. Or just makes me feel like I'm a total mistake to this whole family and they'd be better off without me. Last night she said that she wished our parents stopped at her and didn't even have me, then her life would be better.
I'm kind of out of it and I don't know why. Yet again, that weird wave of depression came over me a few seconds ago and nothing happened. I'm just kind of like..."I hate this." and all shit. I hate it, really I do. I want to get better, but everyone says I am, but I'm not. It sucks because no one fully gets me and my fucked up head. I want that one person to come up soon so I know they're there, but they're not there because there isn't someone. I just can't this alone anymore. I'm fighting a battle that I can't win. It's turning in to a war with my body. My heart and head, my heart is losing and my head is winning, by so much. My life isn't working out, it's keeping me up at night and it makes me want to die.
I got my sister in trouble because we can't have more then one pop today and we can't eat in our rooms, so she was trying to do both. My mom told her not to do it, so while I'm eating she comes out and starts watching that Ashlee Simpson video that proves to all of us she is really crazy. It's sad what she does try to upset me. I mean, really. Come on, I knew she was going to do it before she even did it. She needs to find something else.
Yes, this stuff is still getting to me, she won't stop. I know I shouldn't fight back, but I'm thinking it's all I got left now since she won't listen to me. Or maybe I should talk to my mom about going to therapy again. I don't know anymore, but I can't take my sister much longer. I mean, she makes me feel like I'm worthless and I can't do anything. Or just makes me feel like I'm a total mistake to this whole family and they'd be better off without me. Last night she said that she wished our parents stopped at her and didn't even have me, then her life would be better.