(no subject)
Establishing Trauma (facts concerning the life I was brought into):
I've often said that I cannot tell my story without telling my mother's first. History infects us.
1) family history of mental illness and addiction
2) parents met in the hospital
3) father left when I was 1
4) lived with emotionally distant uncle until 17
Core Memories:
1) park with my dad
2) pancake story
3) family parties
4) denied social experiences ("don't know them")
Stuff:
1) Mom's relationship w money
2) no concept of future
Things That Happened:
1) strangling Vanessa (disparity in relationship w mom)
2) Dad sending cards and letters about other kids, no child support
3) all the other stories
4) Vanessa moved out/ responsible for mom/ intermediary/ worried about suicide
5) John moved in/ uncle moved out
6) early graduation attempt/ college/ rape
External Trauma:
1) Rob's death
Absence of sustained healthy relationships/ reliance on sexual contact. Abandonment issues/ trust issues. Overcompensate for 'missed fun'. No concept of 'future'. Extreme resentment of others.
I've often said that I cannot tell my story without telling my mother's first. History infects us.
1) family history of mental illness and addiction
2) parents met in the hospital
3) father left when I was 1
4) lived with emotionally distant uncle until 17
Core Memories:
1) park with my dad
2) pancake story
3) family parties
4) denied social experiences ("don't know them")
Stuff:
1) Mom's relationship w money
2) no concept of future
Things That Happened:
1) strangling Vanessa (disparity in relationship w mom)
2) Dad sending cards and letters about other kids, no child support
3) all the other stories
4) Vanessa moved out/ responsible for mom/ intermediary/ worried about suicide
5) John moved in/ uncle moved out
6) early graduation attempt/ college/ rape
External Trauma:
1) Rob's death
Absence of sustained healthy relationships/ reliance on sexual contact. Abandonment issues/ trust issues. Overcompensate for 'missed fun'. No concept of 'future'. Extreme resentment of others.