Update.. woo.. it's an update..
So.. Zach got fired. I got a job working 20 odd hours a week making shit. Him and I are trying to work through some bullshit. I'm tired.. but not "it's 1:20 in the morning" tired. I left his place tonight.. just got up from bed, got dressed, and walked out the door. I've spent the past 30 minutes crying.. and now I feel like talking. Though.. I don't know what words are to come from this mouth. I love this man. He's frustrating.. like a god damn puzzle where all the pieces are the same fucking color. I just cannot figure him out. And.. it's not like I'm a few pieces shy.. I'm not even half completed. I only want to figure him out to better understand how to make it better. For both of us.
Eh.. I say this, knowing it's true, but somewhere in there I am looking to make me better. I think he could be part of that, though when things are like this.. I'm just not happy. Most of it has nothing to do with him.. most of it is my own procrastination bullshit. Unmotivated mass of human flesh walking.. to no-where. But.. there are those things that just make it more difficult. And you know.. sitting here, I've realized he's the first person I haven't really wanted to get into details with on here. I need to vent, but.... I want to vent to him. I just can't right now.
And to think.. tonight started out so nice.
Eh.. I say this, knowing it's true, but somewhere in there I am looking to make me better. I think he could be part of that, though when things are like this.. I'm just not happy. Most of it has nothing to do with him.. most of it is my own procrastination bullshit. Unmotivated mass of human flesh walking.. to no-where. But.. there are those things that just make it more difficult. And you know.. sitting here, I've realized he's the first person I haven't really wanted to get into details with on here. I need to vent, but.... I want to vent to him. I just can't right now.
And to think.. tonight started out so nice.