Fic: Take These Chances to Turn It Around 4/5 (JD/Cox)
Title: Take These Chances to Turn It Around
Chapter: 4/5
Author: nighthawkms (beta'd by emilys_knickers)
Genre: AR Future Fic, Angst
Warnings: Explicit content, obscenity
Pairing:(s) JD/Cox
Summary: Perry returns to Sacred Heart after five years to try and tie up loose ends. The problem is, those ends don't seem to want to stay tied down. Future takes place approx. "Season 9".
Disclaimer: Scrubs is the property of Bill Lawrence and NBC. I make no claims to ownership, I'm just playing in the 'verse.
Part 2 Theme: Since You've Been Gone- Theory of a Deadman
Notes: Part four! And it didn't take me an entire month to post this time! Theme song for this second half is linked to up there *points up* and I suggest making use of it. Hope you enjoy!
Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
Seven months into his secret relationship with JD, Perry really did make the biggest fuckup of his life.
He’d been lazy, pulling JD into an empty patient room one day on the pretense of berating him about a patient’s progress. Instead, he’d pressed the younger man up against a wall and proceeded to make work of turning him to a writhing mess of lust.
In the middle of clothes being discarded and an excess of dry humping, both men heard the clearing of a throat by the door. Perry jumped and whirled around, stomach plummeting in his chest when he saw who it was.
Jordan stood in the doorway, wearing a stunned look that Perry had rarely seen on her. Her face quickly morphed into anger, and Perry shied in front of JD unconsciously, as if trying to protect him from the woman’s wrath.
“What the hell is going on here, Perry?”
“Jordan, let me explain, I-“
“Oh hell no Perry!” she shouted, cutting him off. “I know what this is! That’s it, I’ve had it; we are done! For good!” She whirled around and marched out the door, slamming it behind her.
Perry felt a touch on his shoulder as he stared in horror at the doorway.
“Perry?”
He turned to see a worried JD standing behind him, clutching his discarded scrub top against his chest.
“No, Newbie,” Perry choked out, stepping away. “Just… just go.”
“But I-“
“Leave me ALONE!” Perry roared at JD, who shrank back slightly at his screams. The younger man dashed to grab his things and shoved the rest of his clothing back on before fleeing the room, glancing back at Perry in terror as he departed.
Perry sank against the wall, pounding his forehead against it. God, what had he done? Jordan knew now… and he was scared that she would never forgive him for this.
And what to do about JD? Well, obviously, their relationship had to end. It was the most logical thing; they’d both be ruined if word got out about what they had been doing. In fact, he wouldn’t be surprised if it was already too late.
But then memories of the past few months began swarming into his head, and he had to clench his face to keep from tearing up. He loved Newbie, how could he give the man up? This wasn’t right, it wasn’t fair!
When he left the room, avoiding the stares from those who had seen three emotionally distraught people leaving the same place, he still hadn’t figured out an answer.
~
Perry didn’t know how long he had been kneeling in front of Ben’s grave, but it must’ve been a while, because he no longer heard noise from the funeral party crowd. He might’ve stayed there forever if he hadn’t felt a hand on his shoulder.
“Perry?”
Perry shut his eyes for a moment, cursing the voice he recognized. He couldn’t deal with JD right now; he couldn’t let the other man see him in this state.
Slowly he stood, keeping his eyes on the grave in front of him.
“Remember the last time we were here, JD?” he asked, and oh god, he shouldn’t be talking about this; he was setting himself up for pain…
“Have you ever been back to visit?”
“No; could never bring myself to do it.” He glanced over at JD, who was staring at the tombstone as well. “Maybe I’m trying to believe that he’s still on safari somewhere.”
“Listen, I…” JD paused, and then turned his eyes toward Perry. “I should be going; I’m supposed to head to Kelso’s house for a memorial dinner or something.” He nodded to Perry and turned away. “It was good seeing-“
“-do you want to go for a drink?” Perry interrupted, finally finding it in himself to say the words.
JD stopped and turned back, giving the other man a bewildered look. Perry returned it with a hard gaze.
“Are you serious?”
Perry nodded. “I have some… things to give you, and maybe we could…” What could they do? He really had no idea. He didn’t know where he was going with this anyway.
JD seemed to sense his anxiousness, and gave him a soft smile.
“Sure,” he said. “I don’t think there’s any harm in it.”
Perry wasn’t sure he could agree, but despite the voice in his head telling him to run, there was something in his heart pulling more strongly for him to stay.
~
After trying Jordan’s cell phone for the hundredth time, Perry collapsed in the lounge onto the couch, burying his face into a pillow and letting out a frustrated groan.
“Having trouble there, Perry?”
“Go away, Bobo,” Perry growled, sitting up to see the other man seated at the round table in the corner.
He hadn’t noticed Kelso when he’d walked in; perhaps the man really was the devil and able to appear and vanish at will. In any case, Perry knew that the newspaper in front of Kelso would be less entertaining to him than the thought of taunting the other man.
“I don’t think you’ve got any right to be ordering me out of the lounge of the hospital I run, Perry,” said Kelso, glancing up at him over the crossword puzzle. “This is a public room; if you want to have your private temper tantrum, do it somewhere else. Perhaps you could try one of the storage closets that you and Doctor Dorian frequent.”
So word had spread fast.
“Don’t try me, Kelso.” Perry hopped over the side of the couch and stood across the table from the senior doctor. “I don’t want to hear how I’ve ‘disgraced the hospital with my actions’ or some bullshit like that. And I r-he-eally could care less of what you think of me being with JD.”
“Now Perry, where would you get the idea that I think there’s anything wrong with you having a relationship with Doctor Dorian?”
Perry almost died of amazement. “Don’t tell me that-“
“Dr. Cox, I may not like the idea of you using my medical facilities for a sexual playground, but it’s not for me to judge who you choose to sleep with. Besides,” he said, smirking, “it’s not like you did anything shocking.”
“So you don’t…?” Perry drew out the chair in front of him and sat down, actually eager to hear what Kelso had to say for once in his life.
“Maybe you should stop worrying about what other people think of your relationship with JD, and start thinking about the two people involved in this little situation.” Kelso stood up and folded his newspaper over. “You’re a good doctor, Perry, but you’re an idiot when it comes to figuring out relationships.”
By the time Perry thought up a response, Kelso was halfway down the hall, and he had to scramble up and rush over to the doorway.
“Well,” he shouted at Kelso’s disappearing form, “what makes you the expert on it?”
“I’m still married!”
There was no good comeback for that argument.
~
They went to a small bar that was unfamiliar to Perry, in a place in town he rarely visited. He doubted that JD visited it much either. It was a while from the other man’s apartment, and Perry had a feeling that JD didn’t want to stir up any old feelings from familiar places; of which, Perry was thankful.
Sasha was gone, replaced by a small blue sedan, respectable and average looking. Perry thought it suited JD horribly, but he didn’t say anything; it wasn’t his place to speak about it. Really, he didn’t deserve to comment on JD’s choices, after the ones he himself had made.
They found a booth in the back, and Perry got their drink orders, surprised to hear JD ask for a martini.
“No appletini?” Perry asked after placing the drinks down on the table. JD smiled and shook his head.
“I, uh, don’t drink them too often anymore. Gotta grow up sometime I guess.” He sipped the pale liquid, glancing down into it. “So, you said you had things for me?”
“Right.”
Perry placed the shoebox on the table in between them. “I’m not sure what in here is yours; I stuffed it all in here back…” he paused, and then continued, “…before I left and I thought you might want some of it.”
JD reached toward the box hesitantly and opened the lid, eyes widening when he saw some of the things inside. A time warp seemed to take place, as JD began examining the papers and small objects inside with curiosity, age melting away to restore some of the old Newbie that Perry once knew.
“Perry, I can’t…” JD stood up abruptly. “I’m sorry, I can’t do this; I should go.” Then he strode away towards the door.
Perry jumped up and grabbed the box, following JD out into the parking lot. He grabbed the other man’s arm roughly when he caught up to him, swinging JD around to face him.
“You think this is easy for me?” Perry asked, eyes ablaze and pushing the box against JD’s chest. “I’m only asking you to help me with one more thing so I can move on!”
“Well maybe this isn’t helping me move on!” JD shouted back, stunning Perry into silence. “Yeah, didn’t think about that, did you?” Perry watched him shuddering with anger, fists clenching and unclenching as he seemed to struggle for composure. “Where’s my peace! I want back what you took from me, Perry! I want back my heart!”
“I’m not keeping it from you!”
“Yes you are, you idiot,” JD pressed a hand to his face, and for the first time, Perry saw the pain lancing across it. “I never got it back. Don’t you get it? I’m still in love with you!”
Before Perry could respond, JD had fled to his car, and pulled out of the parking lot, speeding down the road and out of sight.
Perry clenched the box against his chest, and realized how fucked he was.
~
“JD, I can’t, I’m sorry.”
“I love you, Perry! I fucking love you!”
“But I don’t love you anymore.”
Lies, all of it, and they both knew that.
“Liar! You don’t mean that!”
“I can’t do this. I can’t be a part of this.”
“Perry, if you walk out that door…”
“I’m sorry Newbie.”
“PERRY!”
The door slammed behind Perry as he fled.
Both men cried that night, alone and heartbroken.
X-posted to scrubsfic and jd_cox
Chapter: 4/5
Author: nighthawkms (beta'd by emilys_knickers)
Genre: AR Future Fic, Angst
Warnings: Explicit content, obscenity
Pairing:(s) JD/Cox
Summary: Perry returns to Sacred Heart after five years to try and tie up loose ends. The problem is, those ends don't seem to want to stay tied down. Future takes place approx. "Season 9".
Disclaimer: Scrubs is the property of Bill Lawrence and NBC. I make no claims to ownership, I'm just playing in the 'verse.
Part 2 Theme: Since You've Been Gone- Theory of a Deadman
Notes: Part four! And it didn't take me an entire month to post this time! Theme song for this second half is linked to up there *points up* and I suggest making use of it. Hope you enjoy!
Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
Seven months into his secret relationship with JD, Perry really did make the biggest fuckup of his life.
He’d been lazy, pulling JD into an empty patient room one day on the pretense of berating him about a patient’s progress. Instead, he’d pressed the younger man up against a wall and proceeded to make work of turning him to a writhing mess of lust.
In the middle of clothes being discarded and an excess of dry humping, both men heard the clearing of a throat by the door. Perry jumped and whirled around, stomach plummeting in his chest when he saw who it was.
Jordan stood in the doorway, wearing a stunned look that Perry had rarely seen on her. Her face quickly morphed into anger, and Perry shied in front of JD unconsciously, as if trying to protect him from the woman’s wrath.
“What the hell is going on here, Perry?”
“Jordan, let me explain, I-“
“Oh hell no Perry!” she shouted, cutting him off. “I know what this is! That’s it, I’ve had it; we are done! For good!” She whirled around and marched out the door, slamming it behind her.
Perry felt a touch on his shoulder as he stared in horror at the doorway.
“Perry?”
He turned to see a worried JD standing behind him, clutching his discarded scrub top against his chest.
“No, Newbie,” Perry choked out, stepping away. “Just… just go.”
“But I-“
“Leave me ALONE!” Perry roared at JD, who shrank back slightly at his screams. The younger man dashed to grab his things and shoved the rest of his clothing back on before fleeing the room, glancing back at Perry in terror as he departed.
Perry sank against the wall, pounding his forehead against it. God, what had he done? Jordan knew now… and he was scared that she would never forgive him for this.
And what to do about JD? Well, obviously, their relationship had to end. It was the most logical thing; they’d both be ruined if word got out about what they had been doing. In fact, he wouldn’t be surprised if it was already too late.
But then memories of the past few months began swarming into his head, and he had to clench his face to keep from tearing up. He loved Newbie, how could he give the man up? This wasn’t right, it wasn’t fair!
When he left the room, avoiding the stares from those who had seen three emotionally distraught people leaving the same place, he still hadn’t figured out an answer.
~
Perry didn’t know how long he had been kneeling in front of Ben’s grave, but it must’ve been a while, because he no longer heard noise from the funeral party crowd. He might’ve stayed there forever if he hadn’t felt a hand on his shoulder.
“Perry?”
Perry shut his eyes for a moment, cursing the voice he recognized. He couldn’t deal with JD right now; he couldn’t let the other man see him in this state.
Slowly he stood, keeping his eyes on the grave in front of him.
“Remember the last time we were here, JD?” he asked, and oh god, he shouldn’t be talking about this; he was setting himself up for pain…
“Have you ever been back to visit?”
“No; could never bring myself to do it.” He glanced over at JD, who was staring at the tombstone as well. “Maybe I’m trying to believe that he’s still on safari somewhere.”
“Listen, I…” JD paused, and then turned his eyes toward Perry. “I should be going; I’m supposed to head to Kelso’s house for a memorial dinner or something.” He nodded to Perry and turned away. “It was good seeing-“
“-do you want to go for a drink?” Perry interrupted, finally finding it in himself to say the words.
JD stopped and turned back, giving the other man a bewildered look. Perry returned it with a hard gaze.
“Are you serious?”
Perry nodded. “I have some… things to give you, and maybe we could…” What could they do? He really had no idea. He didn’t know where he was going with this anyway.
JD seemed to sense his anxiousness, and gave him a soft smile.
“Sure,” he said. “I don’t think there’s any harm in it.”
Perry wasn’t sure he could agree, but despite the voice in his head telling him to run, there was something in his heart pulling more strongly for him to stay.
~
After trying Jordan’s cell phone for the hundredth time, Perry collapsed in the lounge onto the couch, burying his face into a pillow and letting out a frustrated groan.
“Having trouble there, Perry?”
“Go away, Bobo,” Perry growled, sitting up to see the other man seated at the round table in the corner.
He hadn’t noticed Kelso when he’d walked in; perhaps the man really was the devil and able to appear and vanish at will. In any case, Perry knew that the newspaper in front of Kelso would be less entertaining to him than the thought of taunting the other man.
“I don’t think you’ve got any right to be ordering me out of the lounge of the hospital I run, Perry,” said Kelso, glancing up at him over the crossword puzzle. “This is a public room; if you want to have your private temper tantrum, do it somewhere else. Perhaps you could try one of the storage closets that you and Doctor Dorian frequent.”
So word had spread fast.
“Don’t try me, Kelso.” Perry hopped over the side of the couch and stood across the table from the senior doctor. “I don’t want to hear how I’ve ‘disgraced the hospital with my actions’ or some bullshit like that. And I r-he-eally could care less of what you think of me being with JD.”
“Now Perry, where would you get the idea that I think there’s anything wrong with you having a relationship with Doctor Dorian?”
Perry almost died of amazement. “Don’t tell me that-“
“Dr. Cox, I may not like the idea of you using my medical facilities for a sexual playground, but it’s not for me to judge who you choose to sleep with. Besides,” he said, smirking, “it’s not like you did anything shocking.”
“So you don’t…?” Perry drew out the chair in front of him and sat down, actually eager to hear what Kelso had to say for once in his life.
“Maybe you should stop worrying about what other people think of your relationship with JD, and start thinking about the two people involved in this little situation.” Kelso stood up and folded his newspaper over. “You’re a good doctor, Perry, but you’re an idiot when it comes to figuring out relationships.”
By the time Perry thought up a response, Kelso was halfway down the hall, and he had to scramble up and rush over to the doorway.
“Well,” he shouted at Kelso’s disappearing form, “what makes you the expert on it?”
“I’m still married!”
There was no good comeback for that argument.
~
They went to a small bar that was unfamiliar to Perry, in a place in town he rarely visited. He doubted that JD visited it much either. It was a while from the other man’s apartment, and Perry had a feeling that JD didn’t want to stir up any old feelings from familiar places; of which, Perry was thankful.
Sasha was gone, replaced by a small blue sedan, respectable and average looking. Perry thought it suited JD horribly, but he didn’t say anything; it wasn’t his place to speak about it. Really, he didn’t deserve to comment on JD’s choices, after the ones he himself had made.
They found a booth in the back, and Perry got their drink orders, surprised to hear JD ask for a martini.
“No appletini?” Perry asked after placing the drinks down on the table. JD smiled and shook his head.
“I, uh, don’t drink them too often anymore. Gotta grow up sometime I guess.” He sipped the pale liquid, glancing down into it. “So, you said you had things for me?”
“Right.”
Perry placed the shoebox on the table in between them. “I’m not sure what in here is yours; I stuffed it all in here back…” he paused, and then continued, “…before I left and I thought you might want some of it.”
JD reached toward the box hesitantly and opened the lid, eyes widening when he saw some of the things inside. A time warp seemed to take place, as JD began examining the papers and small objects inside with curiosity, age melting away to restore some of the old Newbie that Perry once knew.
“Perry, I can’t…” JD stood up abruptly. “I’m sorry, I can’t do this; I should go.” Then he strode away towards the door.
Perry jumped up and grabbed the box, following JD out into the parking lot. He grabbed the other man’s arm roughly when he caught up to him, swinging JD around to face him.
“You think this is easy for me?” Perry asked, eyes ablaze and pushing the box against JD’s chest. “I’m only asking you to help me with one more thing so I can move on!”
“Well maybe this isn’t helping me move on!” JD shouted back, stunning Perry into silence. “Yeah, didn’t think about that, did you?” Perry watched him shuddering with anger, fists clenching and unclenching as he seemed to struggle for composure. “Where’s my peace! I want back what you took from me, Perry! I want back my heart!”
“I’m not keeping it from you!”
“Yes you are, you idiot,” JD pressed a hand to his face, and for the first time, Perry saw the pain lancing across it. “I never got it back. Don’t you get it? I’m still in love with you!”
Before Perry could respond, JD had fled to his car, and pulled out of the parking lot, speeding down the road and out of sight.
Perry clenched the box against his chest, and realized how fucked he was.
~
“JD, I can’t, I’m sorry.”
“I love you, Perry! I fucking love you!”
“But I don’t love you anymore.”
Lies, all of it, and they both knew that.
“Liar! You don’t mean that!”
“I can’t do this. I can’t be a part of this.”
“Perry, if you walk out that door…”
“I’m sorry Newbie.”
“PERRY!”
The door slammed behind Perry as he fled.
Both men cried that night, alone and heartbroken.
X-posted to scrubsfic and jd_cox