teh awesome
i've got my meds!!!!! i'm floating, of course. i haven't had them for two weeks, so i've got to be careful and work my way back into my regular dosage, but a little fluffy feeling in my head beats the hell out of constant pain and large doses of vicodin. doc said it should only take a few days before the woozys go away, and that if i ever screw myself like i did again he was gonna smack me...and he'd do it ;p
mum's bday was monday, and surprise of the year, both bro's came to dinner and stayed to watch a movie. i had to go to work before it was over, but it was nice seeing little bro for a bit. it was annie's (the baby's gf) first time around all five of us...and she survived, so she's moving closer into the fam circle. she actually hugged me goodbye, first time she's done that.
dad's anemia is almost at tolerable levels, so we are millimeters away from fixing his knees. he's well mentally too, and that's an indescribable feeling of happiness mixed with relief topped off with annoyance. see, dad well means the house is spotless. sounds like a good thing, but you haven't met dad well. i needed food for dinner on tuesday, so i raced to make mac n' cheese, and with the ant explosion, i filled the pan with water and soap and left it in the sink. i get home wednesday to 'you left the kitchen a mess'...one pan, half cleaned, equals a mess. and its like that for everything. wear a sweater once, its dirty, use a towel once, must wash. the drinking glass thing is the worst. why wash a glass after using it once when you can use it all day? obsessive compulsive much?_? he was like this when i was a kid, asking me at five if i moved my dresser out to vacuum the carpet under it when i cleaned my room. but the man's been gone mentally for fifteen years, so its a little shocking to set a glass down and have it washed and back in the cupboard two minutes later. not to mention the washing of jeans while i'm trying to sleep in the morning, but he tries not to make noise. it sounds more like complaining that it actually is, really ;p
in other, me-related news, i'm loosing my mind, or my heart, haven't figured out which yet. coworker on the night-shift started flirting with me about a month ago. not my type at all, at least not one i usually go for anyway. but, i flirted back, which led to hugs, which has led to dates and hands being held and me feeling like a total idiot over the stupid shit i do when i'm around him. but i like it...the feeling of someone wanting to be with me is really cool. having someone go out of their way to find some excuse to be with me. *explaining: we've all got 'zones' we shelve, and mine is the kids dept, which is all alone by itself at the front end of the store. his is in the back of the store, and he can find five or six things a shift he needs to come and talk to me for a bit* and this is all catching me quite off guard to be honest. as alone as i have felt at times, about two months ago i came to the decision that i needed to fix me before i was ready to have someone else in my life, and now i don't want whats happening to me to go away, even though i still feel like i need to fix parts of me in order for any kind of relationship to work. i don't even know if i'm illustrating the situation coherently enough, but there it is. its messy and wonderful all at once...and i sound incredibly pathetic but i'm not going to delete the paragraph like i feel i should because its the honest truth, and to erase it would demean you as my friends, and make less of something that's rapidly becoming the best thing in my life in a long time...
mum's bday was monday, and surprise of the year, both bro's came to dinner and stayed to watch a movie. i had to go to work before it was over, but it was nice seeing little bro for a bit. it was annie's (the baby's gf) first time around all five of us...and she survived, so she's moving closer into the fam circle. she actually hugged me goodbye, first time she's done that.
dad's anemia is almost at tolerable levels, so we are millimeters away from fixing his knees. he's well mentally too, and that's an indescribable feeling of happiness mixed with relief topped off with annoyance. see, dad well means the house is spotless. sounds like a good thing, but you haven't met dad well. i needed food for dinner on tuesday, so i raced to make mac n' cheese, and with the ant explosion, i filled the pan with water and soap and left it in the sink. i get home wednesday to 'you left the kitchen a mess'...one pan, half cleaned, equals a mess. and its like that for everything. wear a sweater once, its dirty, use a towel once, must wash. the drinking glass thing is the worst. why wash a glass after using it once when you can use it all day? obsessive compulsive much?_? he was like this when i was a kid, asking me at five if i moved my dresser out to vacuum the carpet under it when i cleaned my room. but the man's been gone mentally for fifteen years, so its a little shocking to set a glass down and have it washed and back in the cupboard two minutes later. not to mention the washing of jeans while i'm trying to sleep in the morning, but he tries not to make noise. it sounds more like complaining that it actually is, really ;p
in other, me-related news, i'm loosing my mind, or my heart, haven't figured out which yet. coworker on the night-shift started flirting with me about a month ago. not my type at all, at least not one i usually go for anyway. but, i flirted back, which led to hugs, which has led to dates and hands being held and me feeling like a total idiot over the stupid shit i do when i'm around him. but i like it...the feeling of someone wanting to be with me is really cool. having someone go out of their way to find some excuse to be with me. *explaining: we've all got 'zones' we shelve, and mine is the kids dept, which is all alone by itself at the front end of the store. his is in the back of the store, and he can find five or six things a shift he needs to come and talk to me for a bit* and this is all catching me quite off guard to be honest. as alone as i have felt at times, about two months ago i came to the decision that i needed to fix me before i was ready to have someone else in my life, and now i don't want whats happening to me to go away, even though i still feel like i need to fix parts of me in order for any kind of relationship to work. i don't even know if i'm illustrating the situation coherently enough, but there it is. its messy and wonderful all at once...and i sound incredibly pathetic but i'm not going to delete the paragraph like i feel i should because its the honest truth, and to erase it would demean you as my friends, and make less of something that's rapidly becoming the best thing in my life in a long time...