fucking gossip
i hate when people say shit. it pisses me off. i hate when people are bitches to you too. now i wonder what the hell is going on. you know what else i hate? when people say shit just to piss you off. no one knows shit about me or my life or what is going on except for maybe jessina. nuf said...
moving on...work was okay, 4 and a half hours, not bad. i wish i could just make up my mind. i don't know what to think, i start to think that one thing is going to be okay and then something comes up and it makes me second guess. i don't know what i want, i don't think i really should i'm only 17. who knows what they want. i feel like bilbo baggins, i need a holiday, a very long holiday. i wish i could just go away for a few days somewhere peaceful, like colorado or new mexico and just think, not worry. i could come back and start all over. thats the only reason i want to go out of state for college, so i can turn over a new leaf. have a new begining. God thats all i want.to have a fresh start. i wouldn't make a lot of the mistakes i've made. like the reliant k song "hello mcfly", i could go back in time and come back and do it all over agian, but better. i need to make some changes. i need to just sit down and think, i need to do more private writing in my book. i don't want to hurt anyone. what i really want right now is to just get high. i think about things froma whole different perspective when i'm high. i should start writing when i'm high. senior year is going to be different, i'm going to make the most of it, not sit around and not be involved like the last 2 years. i really enjoied my time with joe, i love him and we had a great year and a half. but we both missed out, i'm not saying by any means that i wasted it or it sucked, because it didn't. but i didn't do anything.you know, i still think about him and what we had and what we would have right now if we never broke up. i still think there's a possibility that we could be together agian one day, but he said otherwise. but the time had come that we should part and go our own ways...but i do miss him sometimes. sometimes i want to call him, but i usually resist the urge. it's hard sometimes, but i deal. well this is really long so i should wrap it up. good night all, i feel better that i got al that off my chest. i still have more to say, but i think i'll wait.
moving on...work was okay, 4 and a half hours, not bad. i wish i could just make up my mind. i don't know what to think, i start to think that one thing is going to be okay and then something comes up and it makes me second guess. i don't know what i want, i don't think i really should i'm only 17. who knows what they want. i feel like bilbo baggins, i need a holiday, a very long holiday. i wish i could just go away for a few days somewhere peaceful, like colorado or new mexico and just think, not worry. i could come back and start all over. thats the only reason i want to go out of state for college, so i can turn over a new leaf. have a new begining. God thats all i want.to have a fresh start. i wouldn't make a lot of the mistakes i've made. like the reliant k song "hello mcfly", i could go back in time and come back and do it all over agian, but better. i need to make some changes. i need to just sit down and think, i need to do more private writing in my book. i don't want to hurt anyone. what i really want right now is to just get high. i think about things froma whole different perspective when i'm high. i should start writing when i'm high. senior year is going to be different, i'm going to make the most of it, not sit around and not be involved like the last 2 years. i really enjoied my time with joe, i love him and we had a great year and a half. but we both missed out, i'm not saying by any means that i wasted it or it sucked, because it didn't. but i didn't do anything.you know, i still think about him and what we had and what we would have right now if we never broke up. i still think there's a possibility that we could be together agian one day, but he said otherwise. but the time had come that we should part and go our own ways...but i do miss him sometimes. sometimes i want to call him, but i usually resist the urge. it's hard sometimes, but i deal. well this is really long so i should wrap it up. good night all, i feel better that i got al that off my chest. i still have more to say, but i think i'll wait.