My list
I have a list. It's not a happy list, or a list of things to do. It's a running tally of the number of rejections I've had since I've been in Utah. I'm up to 20. TWENTY. I'm not including submissions to auditions where I sent in a headshot/resume and never heard back. I'm only listing auditions where I put on my cute dress and high heels and curled my hair and put unnatural things on my face and lashes and walked into an audition and sang or acted or danced for strangers. And wasn't even called back. Yep, that's right. Not even ONE lousy callback since I've been in Utah this year.
I used to think I was talented. Not because I won a talent show or something. I have a college degree in singing. I have had the lead in something like 15 shows in Texas. I was on a National Tour of a show last year...where I sang and acted and did a tap duet with a live band in so many towns across the country. I've sung in Carnegie Hall. I've been on tour with choirs to The UK and Italy. I've been a paid singer at a nice little church for over 3 years. I'm not new to this business.
So what's changed? Am I too old? Did I suddenly get less talented? Did I get ugly or fat? Are people in Texas just delusional to talent? Or are Utah directors blind? Something is up.
Should I just quit?
These thoughts go through my head almost every day.
I cry myself to sleep sometimes.
I had made a rule that my time was too valuable to work for free. But my confidence has gotten so crushed that I broke my rule and auditioned for community theatre. And I still didn't get a call back.
I must have "kick me" written on my back.
Someone help me before I give up.
I used to think I was talented. Not because I won a talent show or something. I have a college degree in singing. I have had the lead in something like 15 shows in Texas. I was on a National Tour of a show last year...where I sang and acted and did a tap duet with a live band in so many towns across the country. I've sung in Carnegie Hall. I've been on tour with choirs to The UK and Italy. I've been a paid singer at a nice little church for over 3 years. I'm not new to this business.
So what's changed? Am I too old? Did I suddenly get less talented? Did I get ugly or fat? Are people in Texas just delusional to talent? Or are Utah directors blind? Something is up.
Should I just quit?
These thoughts go through my head almost every day.
I cry myself to sleep sometimes.
I had made a rule that my time was too valuable to work for free. But my confidence has gotten so crushed that I broke my rule and auditioned for community theatre. And I still didn't get a call back.
I must have "kick me" written on my back.
Someone help me before I give up.