Operation: Get Cuddy Laid (aka When Olivia met Sally) - Chapter Two.
Title: Operation: Get Cuddy Laid (aka When Olivia met Sally) - 2/?
Author: nightchaser_sla
Rating: NC17
Pairings: House/Wilson, Olivia/Alex, Elliot/George, Fin/Munch, Olivia/Cameron.
Crossover: With Law and Order: Special Victims Unit.
Summary: There were only three things that Dr. Gregory House liked about Princeton-Plainsboro Teaching Hospital: cherry flavored lollipops stolen from paeds, certain boy-wonder oncologists, and the amazing cleavage sported by the Dean of Medicine.
Chapter Two
There were only three things that Dr. Gregory House liked about Princeton-Plainsboro Teaching Hospital: cherry flavored lollipops stolen from paeds, certain boy-wonder oncologists, and the amazing cleavage sported by the Dean of Medicine. Currently standing by the nurses station at the clinic he was indulging in two of these as he swirled the red lollipop around in his mouth while staring happily down the front of the lacy blouse in front of him. Dr. Lisa Cuddy, bless her little heart, was completely oblivious to his scrutiny as she sifted energetically through a blue file while attempting to get his attention on a case. House was used to ignoring Cuddy and her ‘you’re this hospitals chief Diagnostician’ rants, and saw enjoying the view was the best way to keep himself occupied.
“House!” her sharp tone made him look up to find her face twisted into a grimace. “Are you even listening to me?”
“The girls were feeling unloved,” he answered, giving her a leer which made her shake her head impatiently.
“House please,” she hissed, hitting him on the arm with the chart. “Can you please concentrate just for one minute?”
“One minute might be pushing it,” he answered, glancing at the clock. “You see I’m only on until 7:30 and its already 7:31.”
Her left hand went automatically to her hip and she shoved the chart against his chest which nearly made him loose his balance.
“Hey, more respect for the cripple please,” he said, gripping his cane tighter and glaring at her.
“Get over it House.” Now she had both hands on her hips, which made her chest thrust out and House went temporarily brain dead at the sight. “He’s a NYPD cop and I’m assigning you to the cause.”
“M-o-m,” he whined, twirling the lollipop again. “I hate the cops.”
“You’re a drug addict with a bad attitude of course you hate the cops.”
She turned abruptly and stalked off across the clinic, her lab coat flapping in her wake.
“Doctor House signs out at 7:33,” he said turning to the nurse on duty.
Switching his cherry-pop from one side of his mouth to the other, House flipped open the file and glanced quickly through its contents. Oh great vomiting and fever, he would assign this to the Ducklings and be able to watch the Bold and the Beautiful marathon that was running.
*
Olivia had never really felt all that comfortable in hospitals, it was probably something to do with the fact that her mother was always in some ER or other throughout her childhood. Even though she was sure that Huang would have a lot of big words to describe her hospital-phobia. Elliot had been rushed through the Princeton-Plainsboro ER and was now settled comfortably in a private room. Well she assumed he was comfortable since he hadn’t regained consciousness since they had been in the motel bathroom, and when she had demanded that the nurse tell her what was wrong with him she had been informed that his symptoms could mean a lot of things. In Olivia’s view that wasn’t good enough, she had never really been a patient woman but when she was faced with her best friend being in a coma while she was alone in another state the shit hit the fan.
She was pacing up and down the path outside the hospital foyar, glaring inside at the people milling around inside while waiting for Munch to answer his cell phone.
“Detective Munch.”
“Munch its Olivia.”
God she wished she still smoked.
“Olivia what wrong?”
The problem with having workmates you spent about 18 hours a day with was that they could always tell when something was up.
“Its Elliot, he collapsed this morning and now he’s in the hospital.”
“Oh shit, did you get hold of Cragen?”
“No, the bastard won’t answer his fucking phone.”
Maybe there was a cigarette machine around here somewhere.
“Alright alright. You still in New Jersey?”
“Of course I am. Where the fucking else would I be?”
“Olivia language … you’ve been spending to much time with Fin.”
It was true but really not the point here.
“Maybe if you put out more he wouldn’t have to go out with me.”
There was a deep sigh on the other end of the phone.
“What hospital is he in?”
“Um … Princeton-Plainsboro Teaching Hospital.”
“Oh good. I’ve got a nephew there, what’s his doctors name?”
“Someone called House.”
“Sounds familiar, I’ll talk to Cragen and try to get out there as soon as possible.”
Like hell he would.
“No! You’ve got to take over the case …”
“Olivia its left the state, the FBI have taken over.”
Not on her watch!
“Like hell! You get hold of Huang and tell him …”
“This has got nothing to do with Huang Olivia and anyway he’s going to be worried enough as it is when he finds out about Elliot.”
“Fuck!” She leaned against the wall and rested her head back against the cool brick. “I can’t loose him as well Munch.”
“I know Liv,” Munch’s voice was soft. “I’ll be out there as soon as possible I promise.”
“Thanks.”
*
When House limped into his conference room about twenty minutes after his Cuddy incident, he had had to stop for a toilet break, it was to find the Ducklings already waiting for him. Chase was seated at the table flipping through a magazine with a pen hanging out of his mouth. Cameron was next to him fiddling with her glasses and staring into space. Foreman was leaning against the whiteboard sipping a mug of coffee and glaring at House as he entered.
“Have you got a case?” he demanded, and House glanced up only to be captivated by the man’s ugly purple tie.
“Been taking fashion advice from Wilson again have we Foreman?” he asked. “Trust me he might have the legs for it but the man is no fashion model.”
House felt his own face go blank as an image of Wilson’s legs filled his mind.
“So have you got a case?” Chase’s voices shattered his day dream, and he turned to glare at the young Australian.
“No I don’t have a case,” he answered, hobbling over to the coffee machine and pouring himself a cup. “But you do.”
Chase looked surprised.
“What? Me?” he asked.
House couldn’t handle this kind of stupid sober, digging around in his pocket he pulled out his vicodin bottle popped the cap and dry swallowed a pill.
“It’s more a collective you,” he said, picking up a whiteboard marker. “Okay now we have a 42 year old male presenting with fever, vomiting, and loss of consciousness.”
“What?” asked Cameron. “That’s it? It could be thousands of things.”
“That’s the beauty of it,” said House, holding up his cane and pointing it at her. “You talk to the girlfriend and see if you can get a better history.” He turned to Chase. “You get blood tests.”
“Which ones?” he asked.
House rolled his eyes, seriously it was much to early for this.
“All of them.”
Chase’s eyes widened in surprise but he followed Cameron out of the room anyway.
“And you.” House smirked in the direction of Foreman. “Get an MRI and look for infection.”
“Let me guess … everywhere?” said Foreman darkly.
“See someone learned something today,” said House, and then ignoring Foreman’s glares he limped into his office.
*
Maybe PPTH wasn’t as bad as Olivia had previously thought, indeed the view had certainly improved. Olivia leaned back in her chair at Elliot’s bedside as the gorgeous young doctor which had just entered the room began fussing around her partner. Oh yeah things had definitely improved. This woman had to be mid-twenties with an angelic face, long dark brown hair, beautiful eyes and a body that Olivia could do all night. The doctor leaned over to check Elliot’s catheter bag and Olivia let out an involuntary moan, it had been way to long. As if hearing her, the doctor turned around and gave a dazzling smile that normally would have Olivia panting like a dog on heat, in fact she had to forcibly swallow to keep from drooling.
“My name’s Doctor Cameron,” said the woman, holding out her hand which Olivia shook. “Now do you mind if I ask you some questions?”
Ask me whatever you want gorgeous, said Olivia’s brain.
“Sure,” she answered, and Dr. Cameron sat down across from her.
The questions were boring as hell and the usual bullshit you experienced when going into hospital so Olivia was able to answer the majority of them on autopilot whilst taking in the lovely creature in front of her.
“Done?” the voice coming from the sliding door was undeniably masculine, and strangely accented causing Olivia turn around.
The man standing there smiling warmly at her made her wish that Munch was there so that he could join in the perve-fest she was embarking on.
“Oh yes sure,” said Cameron, standing up and giving Olivia one last smile before leaving the room. The young man came further into the room, running one hand through perfect blonde hair while continuing the inane smiling.
“I’m Doctor Chase I’ll just be taking some blood samples.”
Olivia nodded to him and then leaned over to whisper into her unconscious partner’s ear.
“You better wake up buddy, you’re really missing out here.”
*
House swung around on his new desk chair for awhile, then played with his oversized tennis ball before boredom got the best of him. There were many things he could do such as paperwork or catch up on his clinic hours … at the rate he was going it would take a hundred years before he was allowed to retire. Popping another vicodin he swung around on his chair again, in times like these a man needed his bestest buddy. With a grin he struggled to his feet and grabbed his cane from where he had rested it against the side of his desk before heading out to the balcony. He glanced over at the adjoining office. Wilson was doing paperwork while chewing idly on a ballpoint pen which meant that he would probably have blue stained teeth by the end of the day. House let out a pained sigh and leaned against the wall whilst watching the other man.
House didn’t know how long he had been in love with Wilson for, didn’t even know if it had started before or after Stacey had left and taken his heart with her. All he did know was that somehow the younger man had managed to climb into that big empty space left by his ex and take up residence in a way that House knew he wouldn’t survive if Wilson ever decided to leave. And he would leave, they all had in the end and it was only a matter of time before the overly kind oncologist decided that being best friends with a miserable, cranky old man was a waste of his valuable time. Then Wilson would move on and find another wife and live happily ever after, til divorce do us part. House didn’t think he could watch it happen again without some hair pulling and screaming at the wedding.
He watched as some of Wilson’s absurdly floppy hair fell into his dark eyes, and then turned back to his conference room where Cameron had returned and was watching him with her own pained expression. Oh yeah unrequited love sucked.
*
Lisa Cuddy had been extremely pissed off when she had discovered that House had managed to get rid of another lawyer, this time in the form of his own ex-fiance Stacey Warner and some part of her had thought that she would never be able to find another replacement. Then Sally McKenzie had shown up: beautiful, smart and most of all incredibly tolerant the young woman had even taken a shine to the diagnostician. That disturbed Cuddy more than anything else really because Gregory House did not make friends. Yet Sally with her keen blue eyes, willowy frame, and straight blonde hair had warmed immediately to the gruff and crippled doctor and was always ready with a coffee and laugh when he was around. She also seemed to think that the number of law suits he caused for the hospital was amusing and often announced that at least she was earning her paycheck for once. The rest of the staff thought that she was either insane or a saint, the same way they viewed James Wilson really and Sally took the same approach to the whole situation that James did.
Cuddy watched as the lawyer strolled past the clinic, bag thrown over her shoulder as she chatted with her fiancé Theodore Brown another member of the oncology department. They had been dating for about two months now and theirs had been a whirlwind romance, many people thought that a woman her age should know better but Cuddy thought they made a very handsome pair.
“Going to court?” she asked, and Sally smiled over at her.
“Dr. House has been sued again,” she answered and Cuddy groaned.
“Do I want to know?” she asked and Sally laughed.
“Probably not,” she said. “That’s what you pay me for.”
With that she gave a quick nod and headed out of the door and into the sunshine.
Author: nightchaser_sla
Rating: NC17
Pairings: House/Wilson, Olivia/Alex, Elliot/George, Fin/Munch, Olivia/Cameron.
Crossover: With Law and Order: Special Victims Unit.
Summary: There were only three things that Dr. Gregory House liked about Princeton-Plainsboro Teaching Hospital: cherry flavored lollipops stolen from paeds, certain boy-wonder oncologists, and the amazing cleavage sported by the Dean of Medicine.
Chapter Two
There were only three things that Dr. Gregory House liked about Princeton-Plainsboro Teaching Hospital: cherry flavored lollipops stolen from paeds, certain boy-wonder oncologists, and the amazing cleavage sported by the Dean of Medicine. Currently standing by the nurses station at the clinic he was indulging in two of these as he swirled the red lollipop around in his mouth while staring happily down the front of the lacy blouse in front of him. Dr. Lisa Cuddy, bless her little heart, was completely oblivious to his scrutiny as she sifted energetically through a blue file while attempting to get his attention on a case. House was used to ignoring Cuddy and her ‘you’re this hospitals chief Diagnostician’ rants, and saw enjoying the view was the best way to keep himself occupied.
“House!” her sharp tone made him look up to find her face twisted into a grimace. “Are you even listening to me?”
“The girls were feeling unloved,” he answered, giving her a leer which made her shake her head impatiently.
“House please,” she hissed, hitting him on the arm with the chart. “Can you please concentrate just for one minute?”
“One minute might be pushing it,” he answered, glancing at the clock. “You see I’m only on until 7:30 and its already 7:31.”
Her left hand went automatically to her hip and she shoved the chart against his chest which nearly made him loose his balance.
“Hey, more respect for the cripple please,” he said, gripping his cane tighter and glaring at her.
“Get over it House.” Now she had both hands on her hips, which made her chest thrust out and House went temporarily brain dead at the sight. “He’s a NYPD cop and I’m assigning you to the cause.”
“M-o-m,” he whined, twirling the lollipop again. “I hate the cops.”
“You’re a drug addict with a bad attitude of course you hate the cops.”
She turned abruptly and stalked off across the clinic, her lab coat flapping in her wake.
“Doctor House signs out at 7:33,” he said turning to the nurse on duty.
Switching his cherry-pop from one side of his mouth to the other, House flipped open the file and glanced quickly through its contents. Oh great vomiting and fever, he would assign this to the Ducklings and be able to watch the Bold and the Beautiful marathon that was running.
*
Olivia had never really felt all that comfortable in hospitals, it was probably something to do with the fact that her mother was always in some ER or other throughout her childhood. Even though she was sure that Huang would have a lot of big words to describe her hospital-phobia. Elliot had been rushed through the Princeton-Plainsboro ER and was now settled comfortably in a private room. Well she assumed he was comfortable since he hadn’t regained consciousness since they had been in the motel bathroom, and when she had demanded that the nurse tell her what was wrong with him she had been informed that his symptoms could mean a lot of things. In Olivia’s view that wasn’t good enough, she had never really been a patient woman but when she was faced with her best friend being in a coma while she was alone in another state the shit hit the fan.
She was pacing up and down the path outside the hospital foyar, glaring inside at the people milling around inside while waiting for Munch to answer his cell phone.
“Detective Munch.”
“Munch its Olivia.”
God she wished she still smoked.
“Olivia what wrong?”
The problem with having workmates you spent about 18 hours a day with was that they could always tell when something was up.
“Its Elliot, he collapsed this morning and now he’s in the hospital.”
“Oh shit, did you get hold of Cragen?”
“No, the bastard won’t answer his fucking phone.”
Maybe there was a cigarette machine around here somewhere.
“Alright alright. You still in New Jersey?”
“Of course I am. Where the fucking else would I be?”
“Olivia language … you’ve been spending to much time with Fin.”
It was true but really not the point here.
“Maybe if you put out more he wouldn’t have to go out with me.”
There was a deep sigh on the other end of the phone.
“What hospital is he in?”
“Um … Princeton-Plainsboro Teaching Hospital.”
“Oh good. I’ve got a nephew there, what’s his doctors name?”
“Someone called House.”
“Sounds familiar, I’ll talk to Cragen and try to get out there as soon as possible.”
Like hell he would.
“No! You’ve got to take over the case …”
“Olivia its left the state, the FBI have taken over.”
Not on her watch!
“Like hell! You get hold of Huang and tell him …”
“This has got nothing to do with Huang Olivia and anyway he’s going to be worried enough as it is when he finds out about Elliot.”
“Fuck!” She leaned against the wall and rested her head back against the cool brick. “I can’t loose him as well Munch.”
“I know Liv,” Munch’s voice was soft. “I’ll be out there as soon as possible I promise.”
“Thanks.”
*
When House limped into his conference room about twenty minutes after his Cuddy incident, he had had to stop for a toilet break, it was to find the Ducklings already waiting for him. Chase was seated at the table flipping through a magazine with a pen hanging out of his mouth. Cameron was next to him fiddling with her glasses and staring into space. Foreman was leaning against the whiteboard sipping a mug of coffee and glaring at House as he entered.
“Have you got a case?” he demanded, and House glanced up only to be captivated by the man’s ugly purple tie.
“Been taking fashion advice from Wilson again have we Foreman?” he asked. “Trust me he might have the legs for it but the man is no fashion model.”
House felt his own face go blank as an image of Wilson’s legs filled his mind.
“So have you got a case?” Chase’s voices shattered his day dream, and he turned to glare at the young Australian.
“No I don’t have a case,” he answered, hobbling over to the coffee machine and pouring himself a cup. “But you do.”
Chase looked surprised.
“What? Me?” he asked.
House couldn’t handle this kind of stupid sober, digging around in his pocket he pulled out his vicodin bottle popped the cap and dry swallowed a pill.
“It’s more a collective you,” he said, picking up a whiteboard marker. “Okay now we have a 42 year old male presenting with fever, vomiting, and loss of consciousness.”
“What?” asked Cameron. “That’s it? It could be thousands of things.”
“That’s the beauty of it,” said House, holding up his cane and pointing it at her. “You talk to the girlfriend and see if you can get a better history.” He turned to Chase. “You get blood tests.”
“Which ones?” he asked.
House rolled his eyes, seriously it was much to early for this.
“All of them.”
Chase’s eyes widened in surprise but he followed Cameron out of the room anyway.
“And you.” House smirked in the direction of Foreman. “Get an MRI and look for infection.”
“Let me guess … everywhere?” said Foreman darkly.
“See someone learned something today,” said House, and then ignoring Foreman’s glares he limped into his office.
*
Maybe PPTH wasn’t as bad as Olivia had previously thought, indeed the view had certainly improved. Olivia leaned back in her chair at Elliot’s bedside as the gorgeous young doctor which had just entered the room began fussing around her partner. Oh yeah things had definitely improved. This woman had to be mid-twenties with an angelic face, long dark brown hair, beautiful eyes and a body that Olivia could do all night. The doctor leaned over to check Elliot’s catheter bag and Olivia let out an involuntary moan, it had been way to long. As if hearing her, the doctor turned around and gave a dazzling smile that normally would have Olivia panting like a dog on heat, in fact she had to forcibly swallow to keep from drooling.
“My name’s Doctor Cameron,” said the woman, holding out her hand which Olivia shook. “Now do you mind if I ask you some questions?”
Ask me whatever you want gorgeous, said Olivia’s brain.
“Sure,” she answered, and Dr. Cameron sat down across from her.
The questions were boring as hell and the usual bullshit you experienced when going into hospital so Olivia was able to answer the majority of them on autopilot whilst taking in the lovely creature in front of her.
“Done?” the voice coming from the sliding door was undeniably masculine, and strangely accented causing Olivia turn around.
The man standing there smiling warmly at her made her wish that Munch was there so that he could join in the perve-fest she was embarking on.
“Oh yes sure,” said Cameron, standing up and giving Olivia one last smile before leaving the room. The young man came further into the room, running one hand through perfect blonde hair while continuing the inane smiling.
“I’m Doctor Chase I’ll just be taking some blood samples.”
Olivia nodded to him and then leaned over to whisper into her unconscious partner’s ear.
“You better wake up buddy, you’re really missing out here.”
*
House swung around on his new desk chair for awhile, then played with his oversized tennis ball before boredom got the best of him. There were many things he could do such as paperwork or catch up on his clinic hours … at the rate he was going it would take a hundred years before he was allowed to retire. Popping another vicodin he swung around on his chair again, in times like these a man needed his bestest buddy. With a grin he struggled to his feet and grabbed his cane from where he had rested it against the side of his desk before heading out to the balcony. He glanced over at the adjoining office. Wilson was doing paperwork while chewing idly on a ballpoint pen which meant that he would probably have blue stained teeth by the end of the day. House let out a pained sigh and leaned against the wall whilst watching the other man.
House didn’t know how long he had been in love with Wilson for, didn’t even know if it had started before or after Stacey had left and taken his heart with her. All he did know was that somehow the younger man had managed to climb into that big empty space left by his ex and take up residence in a way that House knew he wouldn’t survive if Wilson ever decided to leave. And he would leave, they all had in the end and it was only a matter of time before the overly kind oncologist decided that being best friends with a miserable, cranky old man was a waste of his valuable time. Then Wilson would move on and find another wife and live happily ever after, til divorce do us part. House didn’t think he could watch it happen again without some hair pulling and screaming at the wedding.
He watched as some of Wilson’s absurdly floppy hair fell into his dark eyes, and then turned back to his conference room where Cameron had returned and was watching him with her own pained expression. Oh yeah unrequited love sucked.
*
Lisa Cuddy had been extremely pissed off when she had discovered that House had managed to get rid of another lawyer, this time in the form of his own ex-fiance Stacey Warner and some part of her had thought that she would never be able to find another replacement. Then Sally McKenzie had shown up: beautiful, smart and most of all incredibly tolerant the young woman had even taken a shine to the diagnostician. That disturbed Cuddy more than anything else really because Gregory House did not make friends. Yet Sally with her keen blue eyes, willowy frame, and straight blonde hair had warmed immediately to the gruff and crippled doctor and was always ready with a coffee and laugh when he was around. She also seemed to think that the number of law suits he caused for the hospital was amusing and often announced that at least she was earning her paycheck for once. The rest of the staff thought that she was either insane or a saint, the same way they viewed James Wilson really and Sally took the same approach to the whole situation that James did.
Cuddy watched as the lawyer strolled past the clinic, bag thrown over her shoulder as she chatted with her fiancé Theodore Brown another member of the oncology department. They had been dating for about two months now and theirs had been a whirlwind romance, many people thought that a woman her age should know better but Cuddy thought they made a very handsome pair.
“Going to court?” she asked, and Sally smiled over at her.
“Dr. House has been sued again,” she answered and Cuddy groaned.
“Do I want to know?” she asked and Sally laughed.
“Probably not,” she said. “That’s what you pay me for.”
With that she gave a quick nod and headed out of the door and into the sunshine.