GK fic: Let Me Be Your Gun
A story about sex and dinner. Clearly, I have amazing priorities. I hope that they don’t change in 2010 (unlikely, considering I am posting this and then going to go try my hand at vegetarian biscuits and gravy). Happy (slightly early, since I will not be around later) New Year, you guys. Much love to all of you!
Title: Let Me Be Your Gun
Author: nightanddaze
Rating: NC-17
Pairing: Brad/Nate
Word Count: 6688
Summary: Don't you know it's supposed to feel better for boys?
Warnings: genderswitch, pegging
Notes: Beta by snglesrvngfrend. Thanks to amberlynne and shoshannagold for being amazing cheerleaders. Title is from "Back It Up, Boys" by Peaches. Modern Romance, if you need it.
It’s a new year and Brad thinks it might actually be a good one for a change. There are fireworks going off somewhere nearby, deafening booms that crackle and fizz as the colours rain down outside the window. Every explosion lights up the bedroom like an orgasm, red, gold and silver shining on their skin.
He’s naked and Nate’s just in a pair of panties, brown with red lace overlay. Brad bought them as a sort-of joke Hanukkah gift and this is probably the only time Nate will wear them and then they too will be relegated to the corner of the top dresser drawer with the other underwear Nate doesn’t feel comfortable in.
He looks gorgeous in them though, with his round hips and soft flat belly, how Brad imagined he’d look. The next boom brings with it a splash of blue that catches in Nate’s wavy hair and pools in the dips of his collarbones and the long slide between his breasts.
Brad reaches out to touch the elastic on the panties. They had been making out, on their way to celebrating the New Year the proper way, but the fireworks were distracting and now the mood feels quiet, a little heavy.
“Happy New Year,” Brad says and Nate looks away from the window. He smiles his little smile, the one that’s more on one side of his mouth that the other and means he’s thinking about the past, but still he turns onto his side and scoots closer to Brad.
“Happy New Year,” he replies, kissing Brad. When Nate’s like this it’s easier to let him lead, so Brad just barely touches the base of his spine and the fine lace across his ass while they trade soft kisses back and forth.
He can’t help his erection though, the surge that comes from the feel of Nate against him, their nipples brushing and the taste of red wine in Nate’s mouth.
Nate kisses him a little more, playing with his tongue and sucking on his lip before he pulls away. He kisses Brad’s chin and his throat, snuggling his head down so he can rest his forehead against Brad’s shoulder.
His fingers are warm and smooth when they wrap around Brad’s cock and his rhythm is quick. Brad pants into his hair as he strokes, his hips moving, grinding his cock against Nate’s belly and his balls rubbing over Nate’s panties.
Nate’s toes brush his shin. “I miss my cock,” he says quietly. His thumb brushes over the frenulum.
Brad huffs, his hand in Nate’s hair, tilting so he can kiss the soft shell of Nate’s ear.
“Tell me about it,” he whispers, “your cock.”
Any request for information from the past is risky. Sometimes Nate tells happily, giving away a story or a Remember when… But mostly it makes him silent and he usually disappears for a while.
Nate doesn’t say anything and his hand starts to slow down so Brad’s sure he overstepped the line. He lets go of Nate’s hair when Nate drops his cock and moves his mouth so Nate can get away.
He doesn’t say he’s sorry because Nate doesn’t like to hear it, but he is. He doesn’t want to sleep alone tonight.
Nate pushes him and he obediently rolls to his back, waiting to see Nate’s curvy back disappearing out the door. Instead Nate straddles his thighs and starts stroking his cock again, slow and hard.
“N-Nate,” Brad stutters, trying to buck up. Nate puts more weight on him, almost sitting on his balls.
“It wasn’t as long as this,” Nate says roughly, “but I think my cock was thicker.”
He rolls his hips against Brad’s, grinding his mound against Brad’s shaft, but his hand doesn’t stop moving.
“I wasn’t cut,” he whispers. “So everything felt fucking amazing: mouth, pussy, ass.”
He licks his fingers all the way to the palm, and then he does that too, wrapping his slick fist around Brad, jerking him faster, humping against him harder
“Jesusfuck,” Brad moans, shifting. He manages to get his hands on Nate’s tits, Nate’s perky little nipples rubbing against his palms. The feeling of that and Nate’s warm pussy through the panties clashes with the thought of Nate’s dirty face in Iraq, the cock under his cammies, thick and red at the tip, fucking beautiful.
“Would you suck my cock, Brad? Would you let me fuck you?”
Brad groans, pleasure thrilling up and down his spine. His balls feel swollen and hot under Nate, ready to go off.
“Would you?”
“Fuck, Nate, of course I would.”
“Good.” Nate swallows hard. “Jesus,” he whimpers, “I’m so wet right now.”
Brad looks at Nate, at his open mouth and his pretty panties and his quick fist. From this angle it looks almost like he’s jerking himself off, like Brad’s cock is his cock and he’s getting ready to fuck Brad.
Brad comes all over Nate’s fingers, thin ropes of come dripping down onto his own belly. He sucks in hard breaths, groaning and grinding up into Nate’s fist.
He’s barely done coming when Nate slides down, licking the come off his fingers and Brad’s cock at the same time, moaning and sucking loudly.
“Nate,” Brad says urgently, shivering with sensation, “Nate, Nate.”
It feels so good it almost hurts. But Brad doesn’t try to stop Nate. He lifts the fall of Nate’s hair up instead so he can see the electric pink slide of Nate’s tongue in the dark.
*
Nate only works part-time and the coffee shop’s only open until five most days, so he’s almost always home when Brad gets there, and if he’s lucky there’s dinner too.
Tonight Nate makes chicken in cream sauce, which is Brad’s second favourite thing to eat. The house smells like garlic and trans fats when Brad gets in the door and the table’s already set.
“I love it when you play house,” Brad says as he passes Nate at the stove. He trails a hand over Nate’s back as he goes for the table.
“Shove it,” Nate says lightly, bringing the skillet to the table. “Get me a beer and the salad.”
Brad does as he’s told, doubling back to the fridge to get two beers and the salad. He even opens Nate’s beer for him.
“Mmm, tossed salad,” he purrs as he sits back down, settling the beers and salad bowl on the table.
Nate picks a piece of lettuce out of the bowl and pops it into his mouth. “You fucking love your salad tossed. I know it.”
Brad laughs, trying to scoop more than his fair share of cream sauce out of the skillet. “I can neither confirm nor deny that statement.” He wiggles his eyebrows.
Nate laughs too and throws a piece of lettuce at him.
*
Later, Nate goes down on him, all the way down on him. He licks Brad’s ass slow and sweet, jerking Brad off with one hand at the pace of his tongue.
Brad struggles to hold onto the slippery backs of his knees and moans hoarsely. Nate’s done this before, eaten his ass out, but not a lot and not for a while, so Brad’s aching already.
It doesn’t help that Nate treats Brad’s asshole like his mouth, licking, sucking and nibbling. He moans when Brad does, the tip of his index finger brushing Brad’s asshole.
His tongue goes stiff, breaching Brad’s asshole, just a little, and Brad squeezes his eyes shut. He almost begs Nate for that finger but doesn’t since he doesn’t think he can form words.
Even later, when they’re enjoying the afterglow, Nate’s mostly on top of Brad when he says, “I want to fuck you.”
Brad hmms sleepily, shifting so Nate’s a little closer. “Too tired for my dick to work now. Set the alarm for five-thirty tomorrow and we can.”
“No,” Nate says quietly. “I want to fuck you. With a dick.”
Brad lifts his head and blinks at Nate, his sleep scattered. “You want to fuck me with what, a dildo?”
Nate shifts away, onto the cool sheets beside Brad. “We don’t have to,” he says, “I just wanted…something different.”
Brad can’t help the fall of his mouth. Nate sees it and something in his eyes shuts down.
“It’s okay,” he says. “I just thought I’d ask.” He sounds embarrassed and let-down, but hides it with softness.
He rolls over in his side away from Brad before Brad can say anything, the blanket pulled high up his bare back.
Brad’s left spinning, trying to sort out the heaviness in his belly that might be terror or lust or maybe even both.
*
Nate doesn’t mention it the next day or the day after, so Brad looks it up when Nate goes for his run. He sits at his computer and plugs pegging into Google.
A lot of stuff comes up, including pictures and videos. Brad reads for a while, about how good it feels, how exciting it is, how much people seem to like it. He’s fascinated.
*
Research gives him enough to do for a week. He reads and looks whenever Nate’s not around and thinks about it almost constantly at work when he should be coding.
Every time he fucks Nate he watches his cock move inside Nate and thinks about how it would look if Nate did it to him, if he would come the way Nate does, cradling Brad’s biceps and grinding down hard on his dick.
*
Brad likes anal. It’s not like the concept is completely new. He’s fucked women up the ass-hookers mostly, but Jen a couple of times too, when she wanted to treat him - but not Nate, and he’s never had more than one finger during a blowjob.
He’s thought about it though, aimless thoughts while he jerked off and while he followed Nate around in Iraq.
He wanted it then, even though it was more abstract than anything else, something you do with guys you like, in the pile of gay shit we’re not gonna talk about.
He thinks about it. He wants it now.
*
“Okay,” Brad says to Nate’s back, “you can.”
Nate makes a noise and half rolls over, reaching back to touch Brad’s wrist. “What is’t?”
“You can fuck me.”
Nate turns all the way over. “Time is it?”
“Really goddamn early. Did you hear me?”
Nate blinks. “Yes,” he says. “Yes.”
The hard feelings Brad’s been carrying around start to melt when Nate reaches out to touch his belly.
“Are you sure?” Nate asks, his hand brushing down a little. His voice is soft and warm, a little hungry.
“Yeah,” Brad says and Nate grins, almost bright enough to light up the whole room.
*
On Saturday they go to the sex store. The really nice one. It’s a little overwhelming at first, staring at a wall of dildos and harnesses in all kinds of shapes and sizes. Nate flushes a spotty pink staring at all of it, the same shade he used to go when he had to buy pads and Brad saw them.
Brad reaches for Nate’s hand before he can stop himself, bridging the gap between them with his palm. Nate sees the saleswoman looking at them and blushes more, but he doesn’t let go.
Nate picks a cock like his own, although he never says so. But Brad watches him eschew the bright greens and smooth purples, looking for a peachy cock with some veins. He measures them against his hand, clearly looking for a familiar fit.
He finds it finally in a silky silicone dildo with a good base for a harness. The saleswoman finds him a simple harness in his size and Brad pays for it all. The saleswoman throws in a bottle of thick anal lube for free. She says she likes them.
*
As soon as Brad closes the front door behind them when they get home Nate strips his shirt off and tries to climb Brad like a tree.
“Let’s go to bed,” he commands, unsnapping his bra. The early afternoon sun shines over his small perfect breasts, his sweet pink nipples.
Brad drops the bag half in the closet and gets his hands under Nate’s thighs to lift him up.
*
They try out the lube. It’s smooth as sin and makes opening up Nate’s ass a dream. Brad slides in so easily he can hardly believe it, not stopping until he’s bent right over Nate’s back.
Nate’s ass is not as smooth as his pussy, but it’s so much tighter. So tight Brad cradles Nate’s breasts gently and kisses the vulnerable bow of his back.
“You okay?” he murmurs hoarsely, trying to hold off on thrusting although it’s all he wants.
“Yeah,” Nate pants, grinding his ass in a slow circle. “Fuck me, Brad, please. You don’t have to be gentle. I’ve done this before.”
“You’re the boss,” Brad says, his hands finding Nate’s hips.
*
The bag stays half-in half-out of the closet for another week, until they stumble home from Ray’s birthday party, drunk and kissing sloppily.
“Want to come on your tits,” Brad mumbles into Nate’s mouth, fumbling the zipper on Nate’s coat down.
“Messy,” Nate laughs, shrugging out of his coat and palming Brad’s cock through his jeans. He’s wearing a loose white shirt with ruffles down the front, a girl’s shirt to help him pass as one. The straps are thin; he’s not wearing a bra underneath.
“Don’t care.” Brad fists Nate’s hair carefully, pressing him back into the darkness of the house. “I’ll lick you clean.”
Nate’s mmm is interrupted when he trips over the bag hanging out of the closet. Brad’s got him so he doesn’t go anywhere, but they do bump noses.
“Ow,” Nate mutters. Brad swipes at the bag, catching one of the ribbon handles and pulling the bag along with them to the bedroom. He kicks it in the direction of the closet and then starts helping Nate with his belt.
Nate goes to his knees right in the middle of the bedroom, mouthing Brad’s belly, starting an invisible fire down to his dick, stripping his jeans and briefs down to his ankles.
Brad’s half-hard when Nate takes him into his mouth. He groans and tries not to rock forward. There’s just enough light for him to see Nate’s bobbing head and his fingernails running over his own shoulders, pushing the little straps on his shirt down. He shrugs out of them one at a time, and then shoves the shirt down under his tits. Then he rises up on his knees and starts sucking Brad in earnest.
Brad can feel the pleasure, the thick drugged layer of it over his drunk, but he still feels far away from it. His cock keeps twitching in Nate’s mouth, but he’s not getting any harder.
“C’mon,” Nate coaxes, pulling off and starting to jack Brad with spit.
“Sorry,” Brad mumbles, stroking Nate’s hair. He tips his face to the ceiling and takes a deep breath, letting it out slowly. He tries to focus on the feeling of Nate’s hand, tight the way Brad likes it, and the huff of Nate’s breath on his balls, but it’s all too loose.
He lets Nate go for a little longer, hoping for something, but finally he stills Nate’s hand.
“Sorry,” he says again.
Nate kisses his thigh to let him know it’s alright.
Brad pulls Nate up off the floor and kisses his cock-swollen lips and palms his tits. “Let me,” he murmurs into Nate’s mouth, easing the button on Nate’s jeans free. “Let me make you feel good.”
They separate to shuck their clothes off, although Nate’s shirt proves to be too much, so it stays, still riding his waist, not covering anything. Brad plays with one of the straps as he guides Nate to sit on the end of the bed.
Then it’s his turn to be on his knees, kissing Nate’s belly. His cock is mostly soft now, but thinking about going down on Nate sends a firework of good off inside him. He pauses to suck on Nate’s nipples, drawing one peak in after the other.
Nate moans. “Yeah, like that.”
“You like it when I suck on your tits?”
Nate’s fingers scratch over his scalp. “Feels good.”
“Lay down and I’ll show you something really good.”
He helps Nate brace his feet on the edge of the bed, his long thighs wide open and his pussy spread for Brad.
He looks his fill, thinking about eating Nate out, fucking him with his fingers because his dick is not working and then he sees the tipped-over bag by the closet, the shiny corner of the dildo box.
Brad rips into the box and fishes out the dildo. It’s cool to the touch but it starts to warm quickly. He spends a moment rubbing over the ridge and the faint veins, squeezing the outer softness until he feels the firm core. It’s surprisingly real.
Real enough that Nate gasps when Brad runs the tip of it between his labia. He hauls himself up to his elbows and reaches down to feel it. Brad starts to push it inside him but his hips wiggle back.
“Don’t.”
“What?” Brad tests Nate’s wetness with his thumb. Sometimes Nate has trouble getting wet. He struggles to remember where the lube is. Maybe it’s under the bed.
Nate pries the dildo out of his hand. His voice comes out drunkenly petulant when he says, “This is my cock.”
Brad snorts. “Right. I forgot. What should I do instead?”
Nate blinks down at him, his face suddenly clear of alcohol. He shifts and the dildo skims Brad’s chin, his bottom lip. “Will you suck me?”
Brad swallows, tasting leftover rum and the stickiness of Coke. The dildo doesn’t smell like anything at all, the silicone’s that good.
“Please,” Nate says, bending over to take Brad’s mouth.
When his mouth lifts Brad takes the dildo from him. “Stay still,” he says, and slips it deep inside Nate, corkscrewing it once and then pulling it out. It smells like the deep sweetness of Nate now. Brad presses the base against Nate’s mound so the head of it curves toward his navel. He pushes the dildo down against where he knows Nate’s clit is, and Nate squirms.
Brad’s never had a dick in his mouth. Before Nate, Brad only ever looked at men, curious, but not enough to do anything about it. But the dildo tastes like Nate, and that’s comfort enough to get Brad to take a few inches of it in his mouth.
The hard-soft feel of it is foreign, but the weight on his tongue feels oddly good. He pulls off and slides down again, getting used to it. On his third go he presses the dildo down as he goes down. Nate’s fingers wind into his hair and he murmurs something approving.
The rhythm’s different than eating pussy, but Brad’s a perfectionist, even when drunk, determined to make up for his own cock. And this is for Nate, who deserves to feel good however he wants to.
Still, Brad closes his eyes while he bobs his head, reaching his free hand up to touch the swell of Nate’s breast. Nate’s taste is gone, but he doesn’t want to stop, not when Nate’s groaning like that, wild and hoarse, close to the edge.
“I need,” Nate gasps, his fingers scrabbling over Brad’s neck, “on my clit, please.”
Brad lets the dildo flop onto Nate’s belly and eagerly parts Nate’s lips with his thumbs, sucking on Nate’s clit. Nate’s soaked like he already came. Maybe he did.
Usually Nate likes tongue and fingers to get off but tonight he’s already trembling when Brad’s mouth hits him. Brad barely has to do anything before Nate’s crying out sharply, his hips rising up into Brad’s mouth.
Brad leaves Nate’s clit alone, but lets his tongue slide down to taste the spilled pussy slick. He suckles and kisses Nate a little, gentler and gentler until he’s sure Nate’s done, and then he helps Nate lower his legs.
Nate’s breathing as hard as the end of a run when Brad joins him on the bed. His chest rises and falls shakily while Brad drags the comforter out from under his hips and drops it over him, crawling in beside him.
Brad pushes the dildo off Nate’s stomach and out off the edge of the bed. It lands with a dull thump. Nate curls into him, catching up to his breath.
His mouth finds Brad’s as their legs tangle.
“Thank you,” he whispers, cradling Brad’s sore jaw.
*
The next morning Nate washes the dildo and puts it in the top drawer beside the condoms and lubes and gives Brad some painkillers and orange juice for his headache. They spend most of the day in bed, watching TV, sleeping, and touching.
*
Monday finds Brad with a pretty big project to work on, but instead he’s thinking about the feel of Nate’s cock filling his mouth. It felt good, the weight heavy in his mouth and the light taste of Nate over that. Almost like a real cock, he thinks. Brad stares at an open spreadsheet and wonders-really wonders-what it would feel like to have Nate inside him.
*
On Wednesday Nate has to help do inventory at the store so he’s not home until seven. Brad makes tacos and times it so everything’s warm when Nate drops his keys on the counter.
Nate smiles at him, and that makes Brad feel light inside, although he still has to wait until he’s in the middle of his third taco before he can get what he means to out.
“What does it feel like?”
Nate looks at his taco. He squeezes it a little. “A taco.”
Brad laughs helplessly. “No. I meant…Getting fucked.”
“Oh.” Nate puts his taco down, wipes his fingers on his jeans. “As long as the person fucking you is doing it right it feels great. You feel full and kind of out of control, which is weird at first, but awesome when you get used to it. The orgasm is amazing.”
“Gotcha,” Brad says, taking a huge bite of his taco, chewing on it.
“I could,” Nate says quietly, “use my fingers. If you want to try something tonight.”
Brad swallows and nods. His stomach is doing something strange, going tight and hot. But he won’t say no. This is for Nate, he reminds himself.
They go for a run after dinner, nothing long or hard, but the matched rhythm of their sneakers eases some of the anticipation. Nate smells like coffee and sweat when they stop at the water fountain in the park and Brad waves at the neighbors when they come home, thinking-not-thinking about later.
At bedtime Nate slips into bed damp from his shower, his hair pulled back into what Brad’s sister calls a chignon. He traces a finger down Brad’s spine in a wide whorl.
“I’ll be careful.”
“I know.”
Nate’s forehead is warm on the back of his neck. He eases an arm underneath Brad’s neck and rubs his hip.
“Jerk yourself off. Tell me if you need anything.”
It feels strange but good, and Nate is very careful. He doesn’t rush anything and talks quietly, saying, You can take three, I’ll go slow, just wait until I find your prostate and, Yeah, there it is. See, this is easy when Brad goes stiff and groans.
Brad feels everything.
When Brad comes he can feel his asshole clench around Nate’s knuckles, tight, tighter. It feels like he comes for a long time and he can’t help the noise he makes, the high whine of Nate’s name.
*
They fool around with just hands and mouths for the rest of the week and most of the next because Nate’s bleeding. One night, Nate brings the dildo and harness to bed, but just laughs at the look on Brad’s face and kisses it off him.
“We won’t,” he soothes, running the soft tip of his cock up Brad’s leg, “I just want to try it on.”
“Okay,” Brad says, touching the tangle of nylon straps of the harness.
He helps Nate get it all on and adjusted, the straps around his thighs and the one around his waist, the cock in and bobbing gently every time he moves, a peachy pink against the black of his panties.
Nate sits on the bed next to Brad and grins, deeply satisfied. “I have missed this,” he says, stroking his cock.
“You look,” Brad reaches out to touch Nate’s cock, a tiny thrill in his belly, “really good.”
They make out for a long time, rubbing up against each other. Nate’s cock saws up against the underside of Brad’s, warm from their skin and friction. Brad comes like that, spilling all over Nate’s cock and Nate shivers, shoving against him hard.
*
On Saturday night Nate makes steak and shrimp for dinner. Brad’s favourite.
“Buttering me up, I see,” Brad says when he sits down at the table. He accepts the glass of wine Nate offers him.
“Steak is the quickest way to get what I want,” Nate replies.
Brad rests his chin on his hands, “And what, praytell, could you be trying to extract from me?” He blinks at Nate mock-innocently. “Are you trying to seduce me, Nate?”
Nate smiles slyly, taking a sip of wine. “I think you’ll notice I’m not even trying to make you eat any vegetables.”
Brad glances at his plate. The only green on there are the herbs Nate put on the shrimp.
“You,” he points, “are a dirty hussy. How dare you use such underhanded tricks on me.”
“They work, don’t they?”
“They do,” Brad says as he cuts into his steak, a different hunger in his belly.
*
Brad showers after dinner. He washes his hair and stares at the green of the tiles. His cock jerks a little when he thinks about what going to happen.
Nate slips in behind him when he’s soaping his armpits.
“I got everything ready,” he says, brushing his mouth against Brad’s shoulder blade.
Brad grunts, neither an affirmative nor a negative. Just a noise. Nate takes the soap from him. He rubs little circles on Brad’s shoulders with it and then slides it down Brad’s spine, more little circles over the base of his tattoo.
He puts the soap away and uses his hand to follow the same pattern, working up suds. He keeps pressing his hips against the back of Brad’s thigh, not grinding, but light pressure meant to tease.
Brad closes his eyes. He’s done this to Nate before, held him close and rubbed up against him so he could feel Nate and Nate could feel his cock, feel how much Brad wanted him.
Fair play, Brad thinks, reaching down to tug on his cock. Nate wraps his free arm around Brad’s waist and washes the middle of his back, his pubic hair skimming Brad’s thigh wet and rough.
Nate’s soapy hand slips between his legs and Brad spreads them to make it easier. Nate’s quick and light there but Brad still tugs his cock again when Nate’s slick finger presses a little bit into him.
*
Everything really is good and ready. The bedroom’s warmer than it usually is, the comforter folded down to the bottom of the bed and one of Brad’s old soft surfing towels is in the middle of the sheets, precisely so. There’s lube and a small array of condoms on the bedside table, along with the dildo and the harness that’s neatly folded.
Brad finishes toweling himself off and asks, “Where do you want me?”
Nate gives him a little push, “On the bed.”
He bypasses the towel and just lays down, half on his back and half on his side. When Nate comes close enough Brad snags him behind the knee and pulls him down too. Nate smiles at him and then leans in for a kiss.
It’s soft, sweet around the edges and full of hidden things. Brad threads his fingers into Nate’s hair and tries not to think at all, because just feeling is easier.
They kiss for a little while, slowly, playing with each other’s mouths, touching shower-warm skin. Brad’s hard, rubbing against Nate’s hip, his cock dragging through the crease. When Nate reaches down to grab him he draws in a shuddering breath, pressing Nate down against the bed.
Nate laughs, stroking down Brad’s back. “Don’t get too excited.”
“Shut up,” Brad mumbles, nipping Nate’s earlobe.
Nate bites him back, on the lip, and then slides out from under him. He gets up and starts putting on the harness, slipping the dildo in the O-ring, tightening the straps. He does it tighter than he did before, making everything snug. He looks like he’s been practicing. Brad wonders what he’s been up to while Brad’s at work.
Standing there, stroking his cock, clean black lines around his thighs and waist, bedside light highlighting the curve of his waist and his pretty tits, Nate looks beautiful. The hungry want in Brad’s belly slams up against his heart and he’s not sure what to do.
“C’mere,” he says gruffly, tugging Nate down on top of him for a rough kiss. That helps ease the ache enough that he can say, “I could almost mistake you for a guy.”
“Yeah?” Nate rubs his cock against Brad’s and his tits over Brad’s chest, grinning. “Good.”
Nate kisses him three more times-quick, quick, slow-and then he pulls away, sliding down Brad’s body to his hips. He kisses the moist tip of Brad’s cock, a little shine on his bottom lip when he pulls away.
“You look good like this,” he says, and then swallows Brad’s cock down. Brad grinds his shoulders into the sheets and moans, reaching for the curve of Nate’s shoulder.
Nate doesn’t tease, but his mouth is too loose for Brad to get close to off, so he’s just left lifting his hips and growling.
Without lifting his head Nate flicks his eyes to the lube and snaps his fingers. He scratches his fingernails lightly over Brad’s belly when Brad gives it to him and then he squeezes out a puddle of lube in the same place, drawing his fingers through it.
Nate’s mouth stays the same, but his fingers do tease. He massages the lube in and around Brad’s asshole without pressing more than his fingertip in until Brad groans, flicking his collarbone. Then he slides one finger in all the way to the knuckle, crooking it just the right way to make Brad’s blood go hot.
Nate sucks his cock and fucks his ass smoothly, like he was born to do it. And when Brad pulls up one of his knees Nate gets another finger in, easy. His mouth slips down to Brad’s balls, sucking hard enough to make Brad gasp. In the middle of the gasp Nate twists his fingers and Brad sees the whole universe for a second.
“Jesus, Nate,” he pants when he can, “you know my life insurance won’t pay out if you fucking kill me.”
Pulling off, Nate says, “I just want to make sure you’re ready,” and twists his fingers again.
Brad grips the sheets tight. “I am fucking ready.”
Nate blinks. His eyes are very dark. His fingers crook again, but gently. “You don’t want three?”
Trying to imagine waiting through three is impossible. Brad shakes his head viciously.
“No. I’m not a sixteen year-old goddamn girl. Get up here.”
Nate slides up between Brad’s thighs and over his belly to brace his palms beside Brad’s neck. His body is warm and his cock drags over Brad’s stomach, catching in the tiny pool of precome under his navel.
He grinds his hips in a slow circle, his breath stuttering like stones on water.
“I want to fuck you so bad,” he whispers into Brad’s mouth, sucking on his lips, licking his tongue.
Brad pulls him down for a real kiss, opening his thighs so Nate’s cock slips down.
“Your show,” he tells Nate, squeezing the two firm halves of his ass.
Nate shoves back, one hand on the base of his cock and the other on Brad’s thigh.
“Get on your hands and knees.” Nate’s voice is like smoke and honey that seeps into Brad’s brain. He ends up on his hands and knees but isn’t sure if he did it or if Nate got him there somehow.
He doesn’t really care, because Nate is kissing the base of his spine, warm breath trickling down his cleft. Then his cock slots there as he leans over Brad’s back to get a condom.
“D’you want a ribbed one?” Nate asks, holding up the little yellow package.
He slips backward and the tip of his cock nudges the wet rim of Brad’s asshole.
“Nate,” he moans, dropping his head.
Nate’s teeth glance off his neck as he smiles. He trades out the yellow condom for a blue one. His body heat leaves Brad and instead there’s the cool kiss of latex against the back of his thigh, followed by the smooth lube.
His body is tense with waiting, so the first light push of Nate’s cock against his asshole makes him clench.
Nate kneads the small of his back, murmuring, “Relax. I’ll go slow.”
Brad lets out his breath on Nate’s next push and the head of Nate’s cock pops in. An odd, tight sensation radiates out from that point, almost a burn. He rolls his shoulders and takes another breath, another inch, again and again until Nate stops.
He clenches again, groaning quietly and Nate strokes a thumb over his stretched asshole.
“Shh,” he says. “I’m in; I’ve got you.”
His hand rubs over Brad’s back, hip and down. He leans in to press his belly to Brad’s back and his mouth to the top knob of Brad’s spine. The lube on his fingers is warm when he smoothes it down Brad’s cock.
Brad sweats and stays still. He feels swollen and full, leery of moving. So he lets Nate stroke him and tries to breathe in time with Nate’s controlled inhales against his back.
Nate squeezes his balls when he pulls back a few inches and then presses his fingers behind when he pushes back in. The burning in his ass ignites into a fire that lights up the nerves all the way from his toes to his chest.
His hips jump without him meaning to and Nate chuckles. His body bows away from Brad’s and his hands anchor Brad’s hips for his next thrust.
Brad lifts his hips to meet him for the third one, and the ones that come after that.
Nate moans as his hips slap Brad’s. “This feels so fucking good. I love,” he swallows, “how this looks. My cock looks so good in you.”
Brad nods, although Nate probably doesn’t see it. They’re both getting into the rhythm, although it’s backward for Brad. His hard work is well-rewarded though. Every stroke hits him deep inside like a spark, satisfying in a way he never thought of.
Nate’s breathing harder than Brad’s ever heard, low loose Uhs spilling out. He’s gripping Brad’s hips hard, harder than any woman has ever done before, really fucking him.
Brad closes his eyes and imagines it: Nate fucking him, the slick width of his cock splitting Brad’s ass, his strong hands, the slope of his nose and his green eyes shaded by his Kevlar. He feels lost, his throat dry with sand and hurt, but he still moans.
Nate seems to recognize the pitch and he blankets Brad’s back again. His breasts press tight to Brad’s skin and he touches his forehead to Brad’s spine, fumbling for Brad’s cock.
“I wanna come in you,” Nate mumbles desperately, squeezing the cock in his hand. His voice is thin, ragged on the edges, better than any voice in a porno.
He sounds like himself, the person he is now, curvy and beautiful, wide hips and high tits.
Caught between his bed and the past Brad covers Nate’s hand with his own because there’s nothing else to do.
“Come on,” he grunts, wishing for the impossible, almost there.
At the same time that Nate pulls almost the whole way out, just the tip breaching Brad, Brad opens his thighs wide and when Nate slams home he fills Brad all the way up, like his cock belongs in Brad’s ass.
Something inside Brad goes off and he comes in the twin circles of his and Nate’s fists, noise pouring out of his mouth, pressed out by the thrust of Nate’s cock.
Nate holds him tight while he comes, one hand around his cock and his other sweaty palm pressed over Brad’s racing heart. He doesn’t stop fucking Brad and that only makes the contractions more intense.
When he finally stops Brad’s panting and his thigh muscles are shaking. He can see and smell the droplets of come dotting the towel. His breath is so loud, and every inhale hitches, broken up and desperate.
“Nate,” he croaks eventually, wiping his sweaty face on his bicep, trying to get a hold of himself.
“Okay,” Nate says quietly, clearly trying to do the same thing, “okay.”
His hips stop and he slowly withdraws, making a soothing noise when Brad moans. He palm Brad’s thigh, murmuring, “I’ll be right back.” His weight leaves the bed.
Brad is dimly aware of the bathroom light coming on. He lowers himself to the bed carefully. His ass feels too light and empty, strange without Nate inside him. His skin is sticky and cooling quickly. If he doesn’t move the towel’s going to dry and stick to him.
The water goes on in the bathroom. Brad stays still and listens to the quiet rush of Nate washing his hands. The water goes off again, and Brad hears the harness slump to the ground, the smack of the dildo and the sharp tinkle of the O-rings striking the tile.
He hears Nate masturbating, probably leaning against the counter, his hair shook back and his fingers busy on his clit. He comes quietly, but not quiet enough that Brad doesn’t hear.
The water runs again shortly and then the light’s off and Nate’s knees hit the end of the bed. Brad hasn’t bothered to close his legs, so Nate resettles there again.
A warm washcloth brushes the back of Brad’s thigh. “‘M gonna clean you up,” Nate says.
Brad holds on to the pillow and lifts his hips obediently so Nate can get his belly and pull the towel out. He feels strange, and maybe Nate knows it because he’s fast, gone and back in three breaths, finding the forgotten covers, settling against Brad’s back again, his knee between Brad’s.
His warmth seeps into Brad slowly while he makes himself comfortable. He runs a hand over Brad’s belly, skipping onto his wrist, grabbing Brad’s hand and tucking both their hands close to Brad’s chest.
“And how was that for you?” he asks. His voice is warm, deep-down happy and tired.
Brad shifts a little. He’s not tired, not exactly, but he feels like he’s drifting someplace else. He tries to focus.
It’s a lame word choice, but all Brad can conjure up is, “Good.”
Nate grins against his skin.
Brad clears his throat. He tries again, reaching for his humor. “You’re a natural at penetrative sex, surprisingly.” His voice comes out wrecked and sleepy. It’s probably best just to go with it. “How was I?”
Nate hmms, laying down a kiss. He squeezes Brad’s ribs with his elbow and rests his cheek against Brad’s back. His fingers slot into the places between Brad’s fingers and then he squeezes those too.
The ghost of his mouth touches the top of Brad’s shoulder and he sounds like he means it when he says, “You were perfect.”
Title: Let Me Be Your Gun
Author: nightanddaze
Rating: NC-17
Pairing: Brad/Nate
Word Count: 6688
Summary: Don't you know it's supposed to feel better for boys?
Warnings: genderswitch, pegging
Notes: Beta by snglesrvngfrend. Thanks to amberlynne and shoshannagold for being amazing cheerleaders. Title is from "Back It Up, Boys" by Peaches. Modern Romance, if you need it.
It’s a new year and Brad thinks it might actually be a good one for a change. There are fireworks going off somewhere nearby, deafening booms that crackle and fizz as the colours rain down outside the window. Every explosion lights up the bedroom like an orgasm, red, gold and silver shining on their skin.
He’s naked and Nate’s just in a pair of panties, brown with red lace overlay. Brad bought them as a sort-of joke Hanukkah gift and this is probably the only time Nate will wear them and then they too will be relegated to the corner of the top dresser drawer with the other underwear Nate doesn’t feel comfortable in.
He looks gorgeous in them though, with his round hips and soft flat belly, how Brad imagined he’d look. The next boom brings with it a splash of blue that catches in Nate’s wavy hair and pools in the dips of his collarbones and the long slide between his breasts.
Brad reaches out to touch the elastic on the panties. They had been making out, on their way to celebrating the New Year the proper way, but the fireworks were distracting and now the mood feels quiet, a little heavy.
“Happy New Year,” Brad says and Nate looks away from the window. He smiles his little smile, the one that’s more on one side of his mouth that the other and means he’s thinking about the past, but still he turns onto his side and scoots closer to Brad.
“Happy New Year,” he replies, kissing Brad. When Nate’s like this it’s easier to let him lead, so Brad just barely touches the base of his spine and the fine lace across his ass while they trade soft kisses back and forth.
He can’t help his erection though, the surge that comes from the feel of Nate against him, their nipples brushing and the taste of red wine in Nate’s mouth.
Nate kisses him a little more, playing with his tongue and sucking on his lip before he pulls away. He kisses Brad’s chin and his throat, snuggling his head down so he can rest his forehead against Brad’s shoulder.
His fingers are warm and smooth when they wrap around Brad’s cock and his rhythm is quick. Brad pants into his hair as he strokes, his hips moving, grinding his cock against Nate’s belly and his balls rubbing over Nate’s panties.
Nate’s toes brush his shin. “I miss my cock,” he says quietly. His thumb brushes over the frenulum.
Brad huffs, his hand in Nate’s hair, tilting so he can kiss the soft shell of Nate’s ear.
“Tell me about it,” he whispers, “your cock.”
Any request for information from the past is risky. Sometimes Nate tells happily, giving away a story or a Remember when… But mostly it makes him silent and he usually disappears for a while.
Nate doesn’t say anything and his hand starts to slow down so Brad’s sure he overstepped the line. He lets go of Nate’s hair when Nate drops his cock and moves his mouth so Nate can get away.
He doesn’t say he’s sorry because Nate doesn’t like to hear it, but he is. He doesn’t want to sleep alone tonight.
Nate pushes him and he obediently rolls to his back, waiting to see Nate’s curvy back disappearing out the door. Instead Nate straddles his thighs and starts stroking his cock again, slow and hard.
“N-Nate,” Brad stutters, trying to buck up. Nate puts more weight on him, almost sitting on his balls.
“It wasn’t as long as this,” Nate says roughly, “but I think my cock was thicker.”
He rolls his hips against Brad’s, grinding his mound against Brad’s shaft, but his hand doesn’t stop moving.
“I wasn’t cut,” he whispers. “So everything felt fucking amazing: mouth, pussy, ass.”
He licks his fingers all the way to the palm, and then he does that too, wrapping his slick fist around Brad, jerking him faster, humping against him harder
“Jesusfuck,” Brad moans, shifting. He manages to get his hands on Nate’s tits, Nate’s perky little nipples rubbing against his palms. The feeling of that and Nate’s warm pussy through the panties clashes with the thought of Nate’s dirty face in Iraq, the cock under his cammies, thick and red at the tip, fucking beautiful.
“Would you suck my cock, Brad? Would you let me fuck you?”
Brad groans, pleasure thrilling up and down his spine. His balls feel swollen and hot under Nate, ready to go off.
“Would you?”
“Fuck, Nate, of course I would.”
“Good.” Nate swallows hard. “Jesus,” he whimpers, “I’m so wet right now.”
Brad looks at Nate, at his open mouth and his pretty panties and his quick fist. From this angle it looks almost like he’s jerking himself off, like Brad’s cock is his cock and he’s getting ready to fuck Brad.
Brad comes all over Nate’s fingers, thin ropes of come dripping down onto his own belly. He sucks in hard breaths, groaning and grinding up into Nate’s fist.
He’s barely done coming when Nate slides down, licking the come off his fingers and Brad’s cock at the same time, moaning and sucking loudly.
“Nate,” Brad says urgently, shivering with sensation, “Nate, Nate.”
It feels so good it almost hurts. But Brad doesn’t try to stop Nate. He lifts the fall of Nate’s hair up instead so he can see the electric pink slide of Nate’s tongue in the dark.
*
Nate only works part-time and the coffee shop’s only open until five most days, so he’s almost always home when Brad gets there, and if he’s lucky there’s dinner too.
Tonight Nate makes chicken in cream sauce, which is Brad’s second favourite thing to eat. The house smells like garlic and trans fats when Brad gets in the door and the table’s already set.
“I love it when you play house,” Brad says as he passes Nate at the stove. He trails a hand over Nate’s back as he goes for the table.
“Shove it,” Nate says lightly, bringing the skillet to the table. “Get me a beer and the salad.”
Brad does as he’s told, doubling back to the fridge to get two beers and the salad. He even opens Nate’s beer for him.
“Mmm, tossed salad,” he purrs as he sits back down, settling the beers and salad bowl on the table.
Nate picks a piece of lettuce out of the bowl and pops it into his mouth. “You fucking love your salad tossed. I know it.”
Brad laughs, trying to scoop more than his fair share of cream sauce out of the skillet. “I can neither confirm nor deny that statement.” He wiggles his eyebrows.
Nate laughs too and throws a piece of lettuce at him.
*
Later, Nate goes down on him, all the way down on him. He licks Brad’s ass slow and sweet, jerking Brad off with one hand at the pace of his tongue.
Brad struggles to hold onto the slippery backs of his knees and moans hoarsely. Nate’s done this before, eaten his ass out, but not a lot and not for a while, so Brad’s aching already.
It doesn’t help that Nate treats Brad’s asshole like his mouth, licking, sucking and nibbling. He moans when Brad does, the tip of his index finger brushing Brad’s asshole.
His tongue goes stiff, breaching Brad’s asshole, just a little, and Brad squeezes his eyes shut. He almost begs Nate for that finger but doesn’t since he doesn’t think he can form words.
Even later, when they’re enjoying the afterglow, Nate’s mostly on top of Brad when he says, “I want to fuck you.”
Brad hmms sleepily, shifting so Nate’s a little closer. “Too tired for my dick to work now. Set the alarm for five-thirty tomorrow and we can.”
“No,” Nate says quietly. “I want to fuck you. With a dick.”
Brad lifts his head and blinks at Nate, his sleep scattered. “You want to fuck me with what, a dildo?”
Nate shifts away, onto the cool sheets beside Brad. “We don’t have to,” he says, “I just wanted…something different.”
Brad can’t help the fall of his mouth. Nate sees it and something in his eyes shuts down.
“It’s okay,” he says. “I just thought I’d ask.” He sounds embarrassed and let-down, but hides it with softness.
He rolls over in his side away from Brad before Brad can say anything, the blanket pulled high up his bare back.
Brad’s left spinning, trying to sort out the heaviness in his belly that might be terror or lust or maybe even both.
*
Nate doesn’t mention it the next day or the day after, so Brad looks it up when Nate goes for his run. He sits at his computer and plugs pegging into Google.
A lot of stuff comes up, including pictures and videos. Brad reads for a while, about how good it feels, how exciting it is, how much people seem to like it. He’s fascinated.
*
Research gives him enough to do for a week. He reads and looks whenever Nate’s not around and thinks about it almost constantly at work when he should be coding.
Every time he fucks Nate he watches his cock move inside Nate and thinks about how it would look if Nate did it to him, if he would come the way Nate does, cradling Brad’s biceps and grinding down hard on his dick.
*
Brad likes anal. It’s not like the concept is completely new. He’s fucked women up the ass-hookers mostly, but Jen a couple of times too, when she wanted to treat him - but not Nate, and he’s never had more than one finger during a blowjob.
He’s thought about it though, aimless thoughts while he jerked off and while he followed Nate around in Iraq.
He wanted it then, even though it was more abstract than anything else, something you do with guys you like, in the pile of gay shit we’re not gonna talk about.
He thinks about it. He wants it now.
*
“Okay,” Brad says to Nate’s back, “you can.”
Nate makes a noise and half rolls over, reaching back to touch Brad’s wrist. “What is’t?”
“You can fuck me.”
Nate turns all the way over. “Time is it?”
“Really goddamn early. Did you hear me?”
Nate blinks. “Yes,” he says. “Yes.”
The hard feelings Brad’s been carrying around start to melt when Nate reaches out to touch his belly.
“Are you sure?” Nate asks, his hand brushing down a little. His voice is soft and warm, a little hungry.
“Yeah,” Brad says and Nate grins, almost bright enough to light up the whole room.
*
On Saturday they go to the sex store. The really nice one. It’s a little overwhelming at first, staring at a wall of dildos and harnesses in all kinds of shapes and sizes. Nate flushes a spotty pink staring at all of it, the same shade he used to go when he had to buy pads and Brad saw them.
Brad reaches for Nate’s hand before he can stop himself, bridging the gap between them with his palm. Nate sees the saleswoman looking at them and blushes more, but he doesn’t let go.
Nate picks a cock like his own, although he never says so. But Brad watches him eschew the bright greens and smooth purples, looking for a peachy cock with some veins. He measures them against his hand, clearly looking for a familiar fit.
He finds it finally in a silky silicone dildo with a good base for a harness. The saleswoman finds him a simple harness in his size and Brad pays for it all. The saleswoman throws in a bottle of thick anal lube for free. She says she likes them.
*
As soon as Brad closes the front door behind them when they get home Nate strips his shirt off and tries to climb Brad like a tree.
“Let’s go to bed,” he commands, unsnapping his bra. The early afternoon sun shines over his small perfect breasts, his sweet pink nipples.
Brad drops the bag half in the closet and gets his hands under Nate’s thighs to lift him up.
*
They try out the lube. It’s smooth as sin and makes opening up Nate’s ass a dream. Brad slides in so easily he can hardly believe it, not stopping until he’s bent right over Nate’s back.
Nate’s ass is not as smooth as his pussy, but it’s so much tighter. So tight Brad cradles Nate’s breasts gently and kisses the vulnerable bow of his back.
“You okay?” he murmurs hoarsely, trying to hold off on thrusting although it’s all he wants.
“Yeah,” Nate pants, grinding his ass in a slow circle. “Fuck me, Brad, please. You don’t have to be gentle. I’ve done this before.”
“You’re the boss,” Brad says, his hands finding Nate’s hips.
*
The bag stays half-in half-out of the closet for another week, until they stumble home from Ray’s birthday party, drunk and kissing sloppily.
“Want to come on your tits,” Brad mumbles into Nate’s mouth, fumbling the zipper on Nate’s coat down.
“Messy,” Nate laughs, shrugging out of his coat and palming Brad’s cock through his jeans. He’s wearing a loose white shirt with ruffles down the front, a girl’s shirt to help him pass as one. The straps are thin; he’s not wearing a bra underneath.
“Don’t care.” Brad fists Nate’s hair carefully, pressing him back into the darkness of the house. “I’ll lick you clean.”
Nate’s mmm is interrupted when he trips over the bag hanging out of the closet. Brad’s got him so he doesn’t go anywhere, but they do bump noses.
“Ow,” Nate mutters. Brad swipes at the bag, catching one of the ribbon handles and pulling the bag along with them to the bedroom. He kicks it in the direction of the closet and then starts helping Nate with his belt.
Nate goes to his knees right in the middle of the bedroom, mouthing Brad’s belly, starting an invisible fire down to his dick, stripping his jeans and briefs down to his ankles.
Brad’s half-hard when Nate takes him into his mouth. He groans and tries not to rock forward. There’s just enough light for him to see Nate’s bobbing head and his fingernails running over his own shoulders, pushing the little straps on his shirt down. He shrugs out of them one at a time, and then shoves the shirt down under his tits. Then he rises up on his knees and starts sucking Brad in earnest.
Brad can feel the pleasure, the thick drugged layer of it over his drunk, but he still feels far away from it. His cock keeps twitching in Nate’s mouth, but he’s not getting any harder.
“C’mon,” Nate coaxes, pulling off and starting to jack Brad with spit.
“Sorry,” Brad mumbles, stroking Nate’s hair. He tips his face to the ceiling and takes a deep breath, letting it out slowly. He tries to focus on the feeling of Nate’s hand, tight the way Brad likes it, and the huff of Nate’s breath on his balls, but it’s all too loose.
He lets Nate go for a little longer, hoping for something, but finally he stills Nate’s hand.
“Sorry,” he says again.
Nate kisses his thigh to let him know it’s alright.
Brad pulls Nate up off the floor and kisses his cock-swollen lips and palms his tits. “Let me,” he murmurs into Nate’s mouth, easing the button on Nate’s jeans free. “Let me make you feel good.”
They separate to shuck their clothes off, although Nate’s shirt proves to be too much, so it stays, still riding his waist, not covering anything. Brad plays with one of the straps as he guides Nate to sit on the end of the bed.
Then it’s his turn to be on his knees, kissing Nate’s belly. His cock is mostly soft now, but thinking about going down on Nate sends a firework of good off inside him. He pauses to suck on Nate’s nipples, drawing one peak in after the other.
Nate moans. “Yeah, like that.”
“You like it when I suck on your tits?”
Nate’s fingers scratch over his scalp. “Feels good.”
“Lay down and I’ll show you something really good.”
He helps Nate brace his feet on the edge of the bed, his long thighs wide open and his pussy spread for Brad.
He looks his fill, thinking about eating Nate out, fucking him with his fingers because his dick is not working and then he sees the tipped-over bag by the closet, the shiny corner of the dildo box.
Brad rips into the box and fishes out the dildo. It’s cool to the touch but it starts to warm quickly. He spends a moment rubbing over the ridge and the faint veins, squeezing the outer softness until he feels the firm core. It’s surprisingly real.
Real enough that Nate gasps when Brad runs the tip of it between his labia. He hauls himself up to his elbows and reaches down to feel it. Brad starts to push it inside him but his hips wiggle back.
“Don’t.”
“What?” Brad tests Nate’s wetness with his thumb. Sometimes Nate has trouble getting wet. He struggles to remember where the lube is. Maybe it’s under the bed.
Nate pries the dildo out of his hand. His voice comes out drunkenly petulant when he says, “This is my cock.”
Brad snorts. “Right. I forgot. What should I do instead?”
Nate blinks down at him, his face suddenly clear of alcohol. He shifts and the dildo skims Brad’s chin, his bottom lip. “Will you suck me?”
Brad swallows, tasting leftover rum and the stickiness of Coke. The dildo doesn’t smell like anything at all, the silicone’s that good.
“Please,” Nate says, bending over to take Brad’s mouth.
When his mouth lifts Brad takes the dildo from him. “Stay still,” he says, and slips it deep inside Nate, corkscrewing it once and then pulling it out. It smells like the deep sweetness of Nate now. Brad presses the base against Nate’s mound so the head of it curves toward his navel. He pushes the dildo down against where he knows Nate’s clit is, and Nate squirms.
Brad’s never had a dick in his mouth. Before Nate, Brad only ever looked at men, curious, but not enough to do anything about it. But the dildo tastes like Nate, and that’s comfort enough to get Brad to take a few inches of it in his mouth.
The hard-soft feel of it is foreign, but the weight on his tongue feels oddly good. He pulls off and slides down again, getting used to it. On his third go he presses the dildo down as he goes down. Nate’s fingers wind into his hair and he murmurs something approving.
The rhythm’s different than eating pussy, but Brad’s a perfectionist, even when drunk, determined to make up for his own cock. And this is for Nate, who deserves to feel good however he wants to.
Still, Brad closes his eyes while he bobs his head, reaching his free hand up to touch the swell of Nate’s breast. Nate’s taste is gone, but he doesn’t want to stop, not when Nate’s groaning like that, wild and hoarse, close to the edge.
“I need,” Nate gasps, his fingers scrabbling over Brad’s neck, “on my clit, please.”
Brad lets the dildo flop onto Nate’s belly and eagerly parts Nate’s lips with his thumbs, sucking on Nate’s clit. Nate’s soaked like he already came. Maybe he did.
Usually Nate likes tongue and fingers to get off but tonight he’s already trembling when Brad’s mouth hits him. Brad barely has to do anything before Nate’s crying out sharply, his hips rising up into Brad’s mouth.
Brad leaves Nate’s clit alone, but lets his tongue slide down to taste the spilled pussy slick. He suckles and kisses Nate a little, gentler and gentler until he’s sure Nate’s done, and then he helps Nate lower his legs.
Nate’s breathing as hard as the end of a run when Brad joins him on the bed. His chest rises and falls shakily while Brad drags the comforter out from under his hips and drops it over him, crawling in beside him.
Brad pushes the dildo off Nate’s stomach and out off the edge of the bed. It lands with a dull thump. Nate curls into him, catching up to his breath.
His mouth finds Brad’s as their legs tangle.
“Thank you,” he whispers, cradling Brad’s sore jaw.
*
The next morning Nate washes the dildo and puts it in the top drawer beside the condoms and lubes and gives Brad some painkillers and orange juice for his headache. They spend most of the day in bed, watching TV, sleeping, and touching.
*
Monday finds Brad with a pretty big project to work on, but instead he’s thinking about the feel of Nate’s cock filling his mouth. It felt good, the weight heavy in his mouth and the light taste of Nate over that. Almost like a real cock, he thinks. Brad stares at an open spreadsheet and wonders-really wonders-what it would feel like to have Nate inside him.
*
On Wednesday Nate has to help do inventory at the store so he’s not home until seven. Brad makes tacos and times it so everything’s warm when Nate drops his keys on the counter.
Nate smiles at him, and that makes Brad feel light inside, although he still has to wait until he’s in the middle of his third taco before he can get what he means to out.
“What does it feel like?”
Nate looks at his taco. He squeezes it a little. “A taco.”
Brad laughs helplessly. “No. I meant…Getting fucked.”
“Oh.” Nate puts his taco down, wipes his fingers on his jeans. “As long as the person fucking you is doing it right it feels great. You feel full and kind of out of control, which is weird at first, but awesome when you get used to it. The orgasm is amazing.”
“Gotcha,” Brad says, taking a huge bite of his taco, chewing on it.
“I could,” Nate says quietly, “use my fingers. If you want to try something tonight.”
Brad swallows and nods. His stomach is doing something strange, going tight and hot. But he won’t say no. This is for Nate, he reminds himself.
They go for a run after dinner, nothing long or hard, but the matched rhythm of their sneakers eases some of the anticipation. Nate smells like coffee and sweat when they stop at the water fountain in the park and Brad waves at the neighbors when they come home, thinking-not-thinking about later.
At bedtime Nate slips into bed damp from his shower, his hair pulled back into what Brad’s sister calls a chignon. He traces a finger down Brad’s spine in a wide whorl.
“I’ll be careful.”
“I know.”
Nate’s forehead is warm on the back of his neck. He eases an arm underneath Brad’s neck and rubs his hip.
“Jerk yourself off. Tell me if you need anything.”
It feels strange but good, and Nate is very careful. He doesn’t rush anything and talks quietly, saying, You can take three, I’ll go slow, just wait until I find your prostate and, Yeah, there it is. See, this is easy when Brad goes stiff and groans.
Brad feels everything.
When Brad comes he can feel his asshole clench around Nate’s knuckles, tight, tighter. It feels like he comes for a long time and he can’t help the noise he makes, the high whine of Nate’s name.
*
They fool around with just hands and mouths for the rest of the week and most of the next because Nate’s bleeding. One night, Nate brings the dildo and harness to bed, but just laughs at the look on Brad’s face and kisses it off him.
“We won’t,” he soothes, running the soft tip of his cock up Brad’s leg, “I just want to try it on.”
“Okay,” Brad says, touching the tangle of nylon straps of the harness.
He helps Nate get it all on and adjusted, the straps around his thighs and the one around his waist, the cock in and bobbing gently every time he moves, a peachy pink against the black of his panties.
Nate sits on the bed next to Brad and grins, deeply satisfied. “I have missed this,” he says, stroking his cock.
“You look,” Brad reaches out to touch Nate’s cock, a tiny thrill in his belly, “really good.”
They make out for a long time, rubbing up against each other. Nate’s cock saws up against the underside of Brad’s, warm from their skin and friction. Brad comes like that, spilling all over Nate’s cock and Nate shivers, shoving against him hard.
*
On Saturday night Nate makes steak and shrimp for dinner. Brad’s favourite.
“Buttering me up, I see,” Brad says when he sits down at the table. He accepts the glass of wine Nate offers him.
“Steak is the quickest way to get what I want,” Nate replies.
Brad rests his chin on his hands, “And what, praytell, could you be trying to extract from me?” He blinks at Nate mock-innocently. “Are you trying to seduce me, Nate?”
Nate smiles slyly, taking a sip of wine. “I think you’ll notice I’m not even trying to make you eat any vegetables.”
Brad glances at his plate. The only green on there are the herbs Nate put on the shrimp.
“You,” he points, “are a dirty hussy. How dare you use such underhanded tricks on me.”
“They work, don’t they?”
“They do,” Brad says as he cuts into his steak, a different hunger in his belly.
*
Brad showers after dinner. He washes his hair and stares at the green of the tiles. His cock jerks a little when he thinks about what going to happen.
Nate slips in behind him when he’s soaping his armpits.
“I got everything ready,” he says, brushing his mouth against Brad’s shoulder blade.
Brad grunts, neither an affirmative nor a negative. Just a noise. Nate takes the soap from him. He rubs little circles on Brad’s shoulders with it and then slides it down Brad’s spine, more little circles over the base of his tattoo.
He puts the soap away and uses his hand to follow the same pattern, working up suds. He keeps pressing his hips against the back of Brad’s thigh, not grinding, but light pressure meant to tease.
Brad closes his eyes. He’s done this to Nate before, held him close and rubbed up against him so he could feel Nate and Nate could feel his cock, feel how much Brad wanted him.
Fair play, Brad thinks, reaching down to tug on his cock. Nate wraps his free arm around Brad’s waist and washes the middle of his back, his pubic hair skimming Brad’s thigh wet and rough.
Nate’s soapy hand slips between his legs and Brad spreads them to make it easier. Nate’s quick and light there but Brad still tugs his cock again when Nate’s slick finger presses a little bit into him.
*
Everything really is good and ready. The bedroom’s warmer than it usually is, the comforter folded down to the bottom of the bed and one of Brad’s old soft surfing towels is in the middle of the sheets, precisely so. There’s lube and a small array of condoms on the bedside table, along with the dildo and the harness that’s neatly folded.
Brad finishes toweling himself off and asks, “Where do you want me?”
Nate gives him a little push, “On the bed.”
He bypasses the towel and just lays down, half on his back and half on his side. When Nate comes close enough Brad snags him behind the knee and pulls him down too. Nate smiles at him and then leans in for a kiss.
It’s soft, sweet around the edges and full of hidden things. Brad threads his fingers into Nate’s hair and tries not to think at all, because just feeling is easier.
They kiss for a little while, slowly, playing with each other’s mouths, touching shower-warm skin. Brad’s hard, rubbing against Nate’s hip, his cock dragging through the crease. When Nate reaches down to grab him he draws in a shuddering breath, pressing Nate down against the bed.
Nate laughs, stroking down Brad’s back. “Don’t get too excited.”
“Shut up,” Brad mumbles, nipping Nate’s earlobe.
Nate bites him back, on the lip, and then slides out from under him. He gets up and starts putting on the harness, slipping the dildo in the O-ring, tightening the straps. He does it tighter than he did before, making everything snug. He looks like he’s been practicing. Brad wonders what he’s been up to while Brad’s at work.
Standing there, stroking his cock, clean black lines around his thighs and waist, bedside light highlighting the curve of his waist and his pretty tits, Nate looks beautiful. The hungry want in Brad’s belly slams up against his heart and he’s not sure what to do.
“C’mere,” he says gruffly, tugging Nate down on top of him for a rough kiss. That helps ease the ache enough that he can say, “I could almost mistake you for a guy.”
“Yeah?” Nate rubs his cock against Brad’s and his tits over Brad’s chest, grinning. “Good.”
Nate kisses him three more times-quick, quick, slow-and then he pulls away, sliding down Brad’s body to his hips. He kisses the moist tip of Brad’s cock, a little shine on his bottom lip when he pulls away.
“You look good like this,” he says, and then swallows Brad’s cock down. Brad grinds his shoulders into the sheets and moans, reaching for the curve of Nate’s shoulder.
Nate doesn’t tease, but his mouth is too loose for Brad to get close to off, so he’s just left lifting his hips and growling.
Without lifting his head Nate flicks his eyes to the lube and snaps his fingers. He scratches his fingernails lightly over Brad’s belly when Brad gives it to him and then he squeezes out a puddle of lube in the same place, drawing his fingers through it.
Nate’s mouth stays the same, but his fingers do tease. He massages the lube in and around Brad’s asshole without pressing more than his fingertip in until Brad groans, flicking his collarbone. Then he slides one finger in all the way to the knuckle, crooking it just the right way to make Brad’s blood go hot.
Nate sucks his cock and fucks his ass smoothly, like he was born to do it. And when Brad pulls up one of his knees Nate gets another finger in, easy. His mouth slips down to Brad’s balls, sucking hard enough to make Brad gasp. In the middle of the gasp Nate twists his fingers and Brad sees the whole universe for a second.
“Jesus, Nate,” he pants when he can, “you know my life insurance won’t pay out if you fucking kill me.”
Pulling off, Nate says, “I just want to make sure you’re ready,” and twists his fingers again.
Brad grips the sheets tight. “I am fucking ready.”
Nate blinks. His eyes are very dark. His fingers crook again, but gently. “You don’t want three?”
Trying to imagine waiting through three is impossible. Brad shakes his head viciously.
“No. I’m not a sixteen year-old goddamn girl. Get up here.”
Nate slides up between Brad’s thighs and over his belly to brace his palms beside Brad’s neck. His body is warm and his cock drags over Brad’s stomach, catching in the tiny pool of precome under his navel.
He grinds his hips in a slow circle, his breath stuttering like stones on water.
“I want to fuck you so bad,” he whispers into Brad’s mouth, sucking on his lips, licking his tongue.
Brad pulls him down for a real kiss, opening his thighs so Nate’s cock slips down.
“Your show,” he tells Nate, squeezing the two firm halves of his ass.
Nate shoves back, one hand on the base of his cock and the other on Brad’s thigh.
“Get on your hands and knees.” Nate’s voice is like smoke and honey that seeps into Brad’s brain. He ends up on his hands and knees but isn’t sure if he did it or if Nate got him there somehow.
He doesn’t really care, because Nate is kissing the base of his spine, warm breath trickling down his cleft. Then his cock slots there as he leans over Brad’s back to get a condom.
“D’you want a ribbed one?” Nate asks, holding up the little yellow package.
He slips backward and the tip of his cock nudges the wet rim of Brad’s asshole.
“Nate,” he moans, dropping his head.
Nate’s teeth glance off his neck as he smiles. He trades out the yellow condom for a blue one. His body heat leaves Brad and instead there’s the cool kiss of latex against the back of his thigh, followed by the smooth lube.
His body is tense with waiting, so the first light push of Nate’s cock against his asshole makes him clench.
Nate kneads the small of his back, murmuring, “Relax. I’ll go slow.”
Brad lets out his breath on Nate’s next push and the head of Nate’s cock pops in. An odd, tight sensation radiates out from that point, almost a burn. He rolls his shoulders and takes another breath, another inch, again and again until Nate stops.
He clenches again, groaning quietly and Nate strokes a thumb over his stretched asshole.
“Shh,” he says. “I’m in; I’ve got you.”
His hand rubs over Brad’s back, hip and down. He leans in to press his belly to Brad’s back and his mouth to the top knob of Brad’s spine. The lube on his fingers is warm when he smoothes it down Brad’s cock.
Brad sweats and stays still. He feels swollen and full, leery of moving. So he lets Nate stroke him and tries to breathe in time with Nate’s controlled inhales against his back.
Nate squeezes his balls when he pulls back a few inches and then presses his fingers behind when he pushes back in. The burning in his ass ignites into a fire that lights up the nerves all the way from his toes to his chest.
His hips jump without him meaning to and Nate chuckles. His body bows away from Brad’s and his hands anchor Brad’s hips for his next thrust.
Brad lifts his hips to meet him for the third one, and the ones that come after that.
Nate moans as his hips slap Brad’s. “This feels so fucking good. I love,” he swallows, “how this looks. My cock looks so good in you.”
Brad nods, although Nate probably doesn’t see it. They’re both getting into the rhythm, although it’s backward for Brad. His hard work is well-rewarded though. Every stroke hits him deep inside like a spark, satisfying in a way he never thought of.
Nate’s breathing harder than Brad’s ever heard, low loose Uhs spilling out. He’s gripping Brad’s hips hard, harder than any woman has ever done before, really fucking him.
Brad closes his eyes and imagines it: Nate fucking him, the slick width of his cock splitting Brad’s ass, his strong hands, the slope of his nose and his green eyes shaded by his Kevlar. He feels lost, his throat dry with sand and hurt, but he still moans.
Nate seems to recognize the pitch and he blankets Brad’s back again. His breasts press tight to Brad’s skin and he touches his forehead to Brad’s spine, fumbling for Brad’s cock.
“I wanna come in you,” Nate mumbles desperately, squeezing the cock in his hand. His voice is thin, ragged on the edges, better than any voice in a porno.
He sounds like himself, the person he is now, curvy and beautiful, wide hips and high tits.
Caught between his bed and the past Brad covers Nate’s hand with his own because there’s nothing else to do.
“Come on,” he grunts, wishing for the impossible, almost there.
At the same time that Nate pulls almost the whole way out, just the tip breaching Brad, Brad opens his thighs wide and when Nate slams home he fills Brad all the way up, like his cock belongs in Brad’s ass.
Something inside Brad goes off and he comes in the twin circles of his and Nate’s fists, noise pouring out of his mouth, pressed out by the thrust of Nate’s cock.
Nate holds him tight while he comes, one hand around his cock and his other sweaty palm pressed over Brad’s racing heart. He doesn’t stop fucking Brad and that only makes the contractions more intense.
When he finally stops Brad’s panting and his thigh muscles are shaking. He can see and smell the droplets of come dotting the towel. His breath is so loud, and every inhale hitches, broken up and desperate.
“Nate,” he croaks eventually, wiping his sweaty face on his bicep, trying to get a hold of himself.
“Okay,” Nate says quietly, clearly trying to do the same thing, “okay.”
His hips stop and he slowly withdraws, making a soothing noise when Brad moans. He palm Brad’s thigh, murmuring, “I’ll be right back.” His weight leaves the bed.
Brad is dimly aware of the bathroom light coming on. He lowers himself to the bed carefully. His ass feels too light and empty, strange without Nate inside him. His skin is sticky and cooling quickly. If he doesn’t move the towel’s going to dry and stick to him.
The water goes on in the bathroom. Brad stays still and listens to the quiet rush of Nate washing his hands. The water goes off again, and Brad hears the harness slump to the ground, the smack of the dildo and the sharp tinkle of the O-rings striking the tile.
He hears Nate masturbating, probably leaning against the counter, his hair shook back and his fingers busy on his clit. He comes quietly, but not quiet enough that Brad doesn’t hear.
The water runs again shortly and then the light’s off and Nate’s knees hit the end of the bed. Brad hasn’t bothered to close his legs, so Nate resettles there again.
A warm washcloth brushes the back of Brad’s thigh. “‘M gonna clean you up,” Nate says.
Brad holds on to the pillow and lifts his hips obediently so Nate can get his belly and pull the towel out. He feels strange, and maybe Nate knows it because he’s fast, gone and back in three breaths, finding the forgotten covers, settling against Brad’s back again, his knee between Brad’s.
His warmth seeps into Brad slowly while he makes himself comfortable. He runs a hand over Brad’s belly, skipping onto his wrist, grabbing Brad’s hand and tucking both their hands close to Brad’s chest.
“And how was that for you?” he asks. His voice is warm, deep-down happy and tired.
Brad shifts a little. He’s not tired, not exactly, but he feels like he’s drifting someplace else. He tries to focus.
It’s a lame word choice, but all Brad can conjure up is, “Good.”
Nate grins against his skin.
Brad clears his throat. He tries again, reaching for his humor. “You’re a natural at penetrative sex, surprisingly.” His voice comes out wrecked and sleepy. It’s probably best just to go with it. “How was I?”
Nate hmms, laying down a kiss. He squeezes Brad’s ribs with his elbow and rests his cheek against Brad’s back. His fingers slot into the places between Brad’s fingers and then he squeezes those too.
The ghost of his mouth touches the top of Brad’s shoulder and he sounds like he means it when he says, “You were perfect.”