I made you a present, the note says. It’s written on the back of a scrap of horrifically pink My Little Pony wrapping paper. It has two smooth edges and two ragged ones.
I’ve taken up arts and crafts, the note says. It’s stuck on the top of a moving box. The box comes mid-thigh on Brad. There’s a good chance that inside the box there’s a bomb.
I almost died making this thing, the note says. You’d better be grateful.
The note has Ray’s writing on it. It’s anchored down by one of the plates from Ray’s kitchen, and the plate has Ray’s wife’s cookies on it.
It’s either a bomb or Ray’s second attempt at building a robot dog. Brad doesn’t really need any new parts, but he’ll take them.
I hope this makes you love me, Daddy, the note says.
I love you, Daddy, the note says. There are twelve kisses and eight hugs underneath.
Brad crumples the note up and takes a cookie. They’re hermit cookies, Brad’s favourite. He looks at the box on his front step for a little longer, until Brad’s hot neighbour walks by with her dog, waving cheerfully at Brad. Then he brings the cookies inside, throws Ray’s creepy little note out, and gets a knife to slit the tape.
Inside the box there’s…well, there’s something. It’s a piece of sheet metal spray-painted orange and decorated with black paint and fake diamonds.
The diamonds spell out ICEMAN in 80’s metal font.
It’s the ugliest fucking thing Brad’s ever seen. He knows it. Across town, laughing in his workshop, Ray knows it. He and Gina are probably beside themselves with glee right now, gorging themselves on cookies and pure evil.
Brad hangs it up in his garage to spite them. The next time Ray comes over to help Brad work on his bike he shields his eyes and pretends to cry, like he’s looking at the statue of David, like he’s broken down by the beauty of it.
Brad throws a wrench at him, but he misses on purpose.
HAH! Throwing shit at people! Definitely awesome! I love how you portrayed them. My love for Ray. Oh it knows no bounds. It's like writing crack without it actually being crack! Best of both worlds.
This is so much better than I could have hoped for :D Ray teasing Brad makes the world go round, and Brad secretly loving it is what makes cookies taste so good when you're feeling down. And nothing says 'I love you, man', in a totally straight way than sending glittering crafts to your best buddy or hanging it over your garage.
I only wish we could blame the actual item and its Iceman decoration on Ray. I'm curious as to what happened to Ray's robot dog or what Ray made it do. I'm guessing it was supposed to pee beer or something.
The next time Ray comes over to help Brad work on his bike he shields his eyes and pretends to cry, like he’s looking at the statue of David, like he’s broken down by the beauty of it.
I hate photobucket more than I hate studying. I'm sorry about the spamming.
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I’ve taken up arts and crafts, the note says. It’s stuck on the top of a moving box. The box comes mid-thigh on Brad. There’s a good chance that inside the box there’s a bomb.
I almost died making this thing, the note says. You’d better be grateful.
The note has Ray’s writing on it. It’s anchored down by one of the plates from Ray’s kitchen, and the plate has Ray’s wife’s cookies on it.
It’s either a bomb or Ray’s second attempt at building a robot dog. Brad doesn’t really need any new parts, but he’ll take them.
I hope this makes you love me, Daddy, the note says.
I love you, Daddy, the note says. There are twelve kisses and eight hugs underneath.
Brad crumples the note up and takes a cookie. They’re hermit cookies, Brad’s favourite. He looks at the box on his front step for a little longer, until Brad’s hot neighbour walks by with her dog, waving cheerfully at Brad. Then he brings the cookies inside, throws Ray’s creepy little note out, and gets a knife to slit the tape.
Inside the box there’s…well, there’s something. It’s a piece of sheet metal spray-painted orange and decorated with black paint and fake diamonds.
The diamonds spell out ICEMAN in 80’s metal font.
It’s the ugliest fucking thing Brad’s ever seen. He knows it. Across town, laughing in his workshop, Ray knows it. He and Gina are probably beside themselves with glee right now, gorging themselves on cookies and pure evil.
Brad hangs it up in his garage to spite them. The next time Ray comes over to help Brad work on his bike he shields his eyes and pretends to cry, like he’s looking at the statue of David, like he’s broken down by the beauty of it.
Brad throws a wrench at him, but he misses on purpose.
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I agree. It's pretty hard to not having fun writing B+R
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I only wish we could blame the actual item and its Iceman decoration on Ray. I'm curious as to what happened to Ray's robot dog or what Ray made it do. I'm guessing it was supposed to pee beer or something.
Thank you so much!
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World's best in joke! Of LOVE.
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And Brad loves him too. PRECIOUS!
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I hope this makes you love me, Daddy, the note says.
I love you, Daddy, the note says. There are twelve kisses and eight hugs underneath.
I admit it. I loled. :D :D :D
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HAH!! Your Ray fucking rocks.
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