another day...

[night_whispers]

another song to add to the soundtrack of my life...

push me out from the darkness
to a sky that's colored blue
somewhere someone's finding happiness,
while i'm still here so hung up on you

nothing is real
and i want you to know
that i'm not alright
when you tear open my chest,
i'll try not to flinch.
won't make promises
you taught me that
i'm still losing what's left of my self esteem
and i'm still watching the slow fading of all my daydreams.

the hardest things to say are the words that mean the most
so i'll bite my tongue til it bleeds and i doubt you'll even know
the easiest things to fake are feelings to fool someone else.
and i've been tricked for so long by you that i spent these last few months in my own hell.

a failed apology,
a day too late but now i see
that all you really want's to see me dangle neck first from a tree
but what would you need me for
you've got friends galore

i could call,
but i know that you won't be there to pick up the phone
you don't have time for me
i could call but i know you won't get the phone
don't have time for me

i hate myself
for loving you like this
i hate myself for hating myself,
just enough to love you
just enough to love you.