(no subject)
alone and yet not waiting. yes i know there is a change on the way, infact i'm working on that now, though i sit back and wonder sometimes, if and when people say things if what they are saying has anything to with the fact that i'm not with them. and then i think, that perhaps i'm just paranoid, or that i should stop thinking that when people say things it's not always about me. yet i can't stop thinking that the pain is still there and still very much real. i know i can't be the only one to feel this however, i can't think of anyone who is in the same boat as i.
a love i had soo dear has seemed to vanish in my life, leaving me confused and hurt, yet knowing that a possibility for that to come back is there, however a very hard thing to reach. i know what it weighs apon and i know that even if i do that now, it may take awhile, yet what i want to really know is how long? how long would i have to prove myself, how long would i have to wonder if what i did really meant anything.
i wonder if that in saying what needed to change was said because it was believed that i could never do it, yet if that were true then why would it be said if they love me, it wouldn't. they would never do that.
so i sit here wondering and working, lost and confused, alone yet not afraid anymore.
a love i had soo dear has seemed to vanish in my life, leaving me confused and hurt, yet knowing that a possibility for that to come back is there, however a very hard thing to reach. i know what it weighs apon and i know that even if i do that now, it may take awhile, yet what i want to really know is how long? how long would i have to prove myself, how long would i have to wonder if what i did really meant anything.
i wonder if that in saying what needed to change was said because it was believed that i could never do it, yet if that were true then why would it be said if they love me, it wouldn't. they would never do that.
so i sit here wondering and working, lost and confused, alone yet not afraid anymore.