I just can't sleep whenever you're not near.

Feb 11, 2010 03:48



Jesus fucking Christ.
I totally forgot about Livejournal.
I think everyone did.
I look back at my old enteries, & I'm fucking AMAZED at how I used to be.
I used to smoke my life away.
I used to be so much different.
I guess I've totally changed.
It's whatever though, I'm pretty sure it's for the better.
I read about how I was dating Andrew, & that shit totally brings me back.
We've been broken up for over a year now.
It's pretty insane.
The boy that I was so in love with.
Obviously he'll always be in my heart, but I couldn't take that shit anymore.
I have no idea where things went so wrong.
I'm starting to believe it was when Allan moved in.
That's when his partying just became too much.
Not to mention I started working at Chevys, & he didn't like all the attention I was getting from them Mexicans : ).
We fought so much.
I'd never ever say I regret dating him, but I definately regret holding my tongue so much with him.
I should've stood up for myself wayy more than I did.
That silly boy will always hold a place in my heart.
If I admit it, or not.
He was the first boy I fucking fell in love with.
Oh well, what can ya do?
My relationship with Ruben is so much healthier.
He doesn't scream at me, he doesn't call me a whore.
I just can't believe how much my life's changed in such little time.
Two years ago all I was worried about was Andrew, smoking, & partying.
Now look at me.
Anti-fucking-partying.
Oh, & Nancy's not in my life anymore.
That definately stings a lot more than I'd like to admit.
She was honestly the first best fucking friend I've ever had.
I don't see this working itself out this time though.
She's way too crazy now.
She's so wrapped up in her problems, & all she cares about is getting fucked up.
I've definately learned my lesson.
I'm no longer reaching out to people who don't want my help.

God, I fucking hate sleeping alone.
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